View Full Version : More Pagan Humor!

Wench Shaelyn
01-15-2003, 12:50 PM
The Garden Of Eden

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, "Lord I have a problem!"
"What's the problem, Eve?"

"Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and
all of these beautiful animals, and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just
not happy."

"Why is that Eve?" came the reply from above.
"Lord I'm lonely and sick to death of apples."

"Well, Eve, in that case I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."
"What is a *man* Lord?

"This man will be a flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat and
be vainglorious; all in all he'll give you a hard time. But he'll be bigger, faster
and will like to hunt and kill things. He will look silly aroused, but since you
are complaining, I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your ah,
physical needs. He'll be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting
and kicking a ball about. He won't be too smart so he'll need your advice to
think properly."

"Sounds great," says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow. "What's the catch?"
"Yeah, well.....you can have him on one condition."

"What's that Lord?"

"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant and self-admiring so you'll have to let him
believe that I made him first. So just remember it's our secret,
Woman to Woman!"



Four blue candles (represent water, the frog's home)
Incense (lotus or another flower incense is good)
A small aquarium or a clear glass bowl with a screen lid (you can use a cake rack)
Picture of the person to be turned into a frog
Bugs or mealworms (preferably alive)
One live frog

Catch a frog. Put the frog and a little water in the aquarium or bowl. Place the candles around the bowl and light them. Light the incense. Slip the picture face up under the container where it will absorb frog energy. Stop laughing.

Stand facing east and say, "I call upon the spirits of the frogs from the lakes and ponds and swamps in the east to come and witness a birth of one of their own." Face south, west, and north in turn and recite the words aloud again, substituting the proper direction into each incantation. At least TRY to stop laughing

Now concentrate on the frog. See the frog's energy, and the picture under the glass. See the energy oozing from the frog into the picture, becoming the picture. See the person in the picture slowly changing until he (or she) takes on the form, habits, and personality of a frog. Pick self off floor and use a paper bag to stop hyperventilating from laughter

Now take the picture and face the east, saying, "Frogs in the east, hear my voice! Behold! Another is born into the watery realm of your kingdom!" Repeat this affirmation for south, west and north, substituting the name of the proper direction each time. Feed the bugs to the frog in thanks for his help. Giggle More.

Take the frog back to where you caught him and free him. Send the picture to the person upon whom you have placed your spell and who now has frog habits.
Send him pictures of frogs. He will dream of being in a swamp and eating bugs. He will begin doing froggy things. He will get a reputation of being weird.

Enjoy Sisters!

01-22-2003, 07:04 PM
ok the frog thing is funny 8)


ok it's very funny!

where do you find this stuff?

Wench Shaelyn
01-22-2003, 07:30 PM
LMAO! I have no idea, my friend emails them to me!

03-11-2004, 03:14 PM