Couple adopts 29 children....

[Tink]

Saw these people on the today show this morning:

http://www.nbc24.com/global/Frameset.asp?P=/Default.asp?FramesetID=1

Go to story on Nuzum family.

Are these people on CRACK?! :shock:

And more importantly is the adoption system on it?

I mean these people do not have the means to support all these kids....many of whom have special needs. While it is admirable that they want to help all these speicial needs children....they need to realize that they cannot *afford* to do so. They can't just keep adotping an expect that the community will help.

This leads me to another topic, sorta related that burns my butt:

:rant:
I am soooooo sick of society rewarding people for having too many kids. Like the big deal we make over mutli-births. These people get showered with gifts as elaborate as new homes and cars....to having volunteers come in to help take care of the babies. While I am not against the spirit of helping/giving, I am against the practice of fertilizing several eggs at once and implanting them. I mean obviously the procedure has been perfected if it can cause women to be pregnant with 6, 7, 8 babies....so why not just implant 3 eggs? And I say 3 only, because there is a chance not all will take, but there is a HUGE chance nowadays that they will.

Okay, maybe it's the bad mood I'm in today, but geez....had to go off about this. Just had to....

[daBaroness]

Tink - I have to agree with you on several points even though my perspective as a single mother might be different than yours. While I respect those who adopt children, especially those with special needs who might otherwise spend a lifetime in an institution, there are limits. I think the philosophy of everything in moderation is a good general rule of thumb, particularly when it comes to childrearing.

It seems there is a zealot for every cause - and apparently this family is the "poster child" for adoption excess. They (and others like them) say they want to provide the love of a family to children. Well frankly, when a family has to turn to the public to feed, clothe, and shelter 30 children, they've ceased to be a family and become a glorified and freakish group home or orphanage. I know there are spectacular parents out there who have an abundance of love to give children, but as the mother of only two, I also know how "needy" children are. I devote about 90-95% of my time to my sons, and they still want more. I often feel like no matter what I do, how much love I give or express, they always want, need, and deserve more. There is NO POSSIBLE WAY two parents can spread their time, love, and attention to that many children in a way that meets their needs.

I'm sorry to say my personal beliefs about people like this is that they may have started out with very healthy, genuine motives, but somewhere along the way the tail started wagging the dog. Rather than seeing them as selfless, I see them as selfish. Something within them has soured and turned the focus onto them, rather than the children. They've become more a circus side show or celebrity martyrs than a family. They're exploiting these children and essentially forcing them to be oddities responsible for earning their own keep while giving up their dignity and privacy. It's no better than what 19th century circuses did with the individuals who made up their side/freak shows.

Don't EVEN get me started about how so-called children and family service agencies (public and private) fail children. Most foster systems in this country are a farce and while there is a shortage of cute white babies available for adoption and people go to extremes to obtain a baby, for children of color, older children, or children with physical and emotional challenges the adoption process is a farce. We've got a case here in KC right now where a 9-year-old, African-American boy was adopted by a couple who were "ministers" of a church. The boy was systematically abused and tortured, all in the name of "good Christian discipline" by his adoptive parents and members of their church. This boy and his siblings were routinely bound, crucifixion style, into their beds at night and gagged with duct tape. They were beaten on a daily basis for reasons big and small.

The disturbing part of this is state workers knew there were continuing reports and litigated cases of child abuse by these people and the members of their congregation, and still they handed over the lives of three children when they allowed them to be adopted. In my book, it is these so-called child-serving institutions who should be held accountable. You don't hand over a child to known abusers, and you don't hand a child over to a family of 29 children thinking their best interests and needs are being served.

OK - I've said my peace. Bottom line - it's a sad irony there are so many children conceived and born into this world who are unwanted and must be "dealt" with, while others so desperately want children they'll risk everything to have one. Sadder still are the cases of people unwilling to adopt anything but the "perfect" child, when so many children go without the "perfect love" of a family each and every child deserves and needs.

da Baroness
Mother of two perfectly imperfect and unconditionally love male children

[AnkleGoddess]

I want to be a foster parent but people like this really freak me out. My husband came home yesterday from working on a house with 12 adopted kids and more on the way. And I thought that was way too many kids until you posted this link.

[Belladonna]

I think that Baroness is quite accurate when she points out that the Childrens 'Services' in this country lacks drastically. Too many children are being abused, neglected, and in many instances here in Florida, down right LOST. I'm a single mother of a five month old who currently lives with her own parents and shares a 10 foot by 10 foot room with my child. I only 'qualify' for WIC. All other 'assistance' programs my parents and I combined make too much money for.

Meanwhile, some other families in the same situations get ten thousand times more support then I do. This from a system that I have paid into myself for 10 years, while most of these other moms have MAYBE only paid into sparingly.

For any system to allow that many children into a home to me constitutes child abuse unless the family is down right filthy rich and can afford nannies/assistance on their own without the states help or intervention.


And in regards to the ferility process, though I fully agree that too much emphasis is being placed on it in the media, there are medical reasons why they impregnate so many eggs. Nature being nature there are NO guarantees even if the implant 100. HOWEVER....I'm also a strong supporter of if you were supposed to have children, you would be blessed with them naturally and in good time. We are havnig an issue with overpopulation in many areas of the world, and this does nothing to help it. Though I feel for parents who are not able to conceive naturally, and I can understand the longing for wanting to carry a child on your own, MOTHER is trying to tell you that maybe you should just adopt one of the hundreds of thousands of children who dont have a home.

[Bonnie]

When I got preggers with my twins, I had no medical insurance and was faced with a sudden and unexpected MASSIVE reduction in my income. I'd been on birth control, because I knew I wasn't ready to be a mom, but as it says on the package, it's only 97% effective. :roll:

Well, I trotted off to my local welfare office...I figured I'd ask only for medicaid. Turns out, they wouldn't give me medicaid unless I also took on the WIC program. I can't remember (it's been over seven years) but I think they insisted I have food stamps, as well. The interesting part is that I wasn't able to qualify if the FATHER lived with me.

Only if we lived apart.

Talk about NOT promoting family unity!

So I claimed that I lived alone.

Then they wanted to know who he was so they could pursue him for child support purposes. Now, if he lived with me, whether our income was increased by his presence or not, I got nothing. If we lived apart, he'd have to pay CS to the state.

I had to claim, in great humiliation, that I didn't know who the father was. And, further, that I had no idea what the last names of the people I'd supposedly slept with were. It was terrible.

And I was lucky. I got the aid I needed while I needed it, and got off. My interviewer was very professional. My GF went through the same thing, but got a scornful lecture and moralistic harrangue from her interviewer.

It's a mess. Those who really need it, even for just a few months, just to keep even or above water have to jump through hoops and lie and debase themselves to get it. Others get it handed to them and they abuse it.

Let's not get me started on the Choose Life groups, or adoption agencies.

[Wench Shaelyn]

Those of you in Florida can attest to this fact, I have a person whom I went to school with that when she wants more money simply pops out another child. How crude is this? I personally think it's so horrible!

Granted I do not have children, nor do I plan to anytime soon. I am, however the godmother of a beautiful 4 year old whom I love to death. Now 'Lena's mom and I have been friends for 15 years and she insists she wants another baby when she can barely support Selena and the father wants nothing to do with them. Many times I've ripped into her for this, but there isent much else I can do. Where have common sence and morals gone!?

But it truely scares me when stories like this come up. How can you possibly give enough love and care for that many children on a personal basis? Much less have the paitence for such!? Granted I'm 21 and most of my friends from school have children already, but I'm the lone survivor of the "no kids" thing. Simpyl because I refuse to have a child I can't support and give everything to. I don't have the patiences for that right now in life! LOL I'm young damnit, I want my fun!

I've known many friends who went to welfare when found pregnant, and they all had horrible stories of being humiliated, judged and scorned by the workers they all spoke to. Even the people with programs like BETA and such have been known to do the same thing. Since when did having a baby make you a horrible person even if unwed?

The soical system for these things just makes me ill.

[Leela]

Speak the truth Baroness!

I couldn't agree more!
(I'll save my soapbox for later when I'm not late for work)

[emalia]

:rant:
In Florida, the more kids you have the more $ you have. There should be required Birth control while on assistance be it the Pill, the Patch or sometype of implant.. It should be mandated. Isn't the system supposed to be a temporary thing? I know people that are int eh system, that receive food stamps, food banks, and WIC with a 4 person family that can't pay rent or their car payment because they spent too much $ on fabric! Sadly enough, there are so many more people like them. Why isn't it required that to be on the system that you have to get an education or hold steady employment? Even those that can't work because they are "disabled" can still learn and teach!!!! Why are some of these people getting EVERYTHING for NOTHING?!?!?!?! They should be required to be a productive member of society, not lazy. Sadly enough our system promotes laziness and seems to punush those that are trying their best to make ends meet.

Being from a not so nice section of Broward County Florida, I can truthfuly attest the system abuses here in Florida. People aren't lying when they say that welfare recipients are driving NEW BMW's, mercedes and the likes. It is common. Take a drive through Riverside Park or Scurvey's.. There are girls that are toting their 2-3 kids to high school day care with them so they can go off an party for the day and pick up their kids at the end of the day like nothing happened.. There are people that are making ENTIRELY TOO MUCH $ at the top of the housing waiting lists, meanwhile those that need the assistance can't get any. There is truly something wrong with the fact that the state includes the incomes of those people that you live with, despite the fact that IT ISN'T YOURS!!


:rant:
Ok I should step away from the opinions at this time as I am starting to get higher ont eh horse.

[Tink]

Emalia,

I LOVE your idea about mandatory birth control for those on welfare!! If only we could pass such a law and make the buggers get a shot or implant (wouldn't say pill because who trusts them to take it?) in order to keep receiving benefits.....

Th whole system needs revamping. Welfare in general and unemployment for that matter, do not make great enough efforts to make sure that people find jobs or even make a true effort to find one... So, these people start looking at their job as collecting the benefits.

What do you do for a living? Every week, I travel to the welfare/unemployment office and pick up a check. That's what I do.

Worse, the people with kids...the kids see this and then grow up thinking that's how it works....vicious cycle, that's putting us in the hole.

Pathetic.

[Wench Shaelyn]

Emailia,
Oh I know, when I was in orlando I lived in the not so nice area I refere to the Ghetto and it was. If you've been in Orlando I'm SURE you've heard of OBT, I lived off there in the 'bad' area. LOL, the only white girl in the complex!

But the mandatory bitch control is SUCH a good idea!

It's so sad these people can honestly get away with these things, because I also know people who've had children or are pregnant who can't get assistance at all and as it often happen, they are the ones who bust there butts trying to make ends meet and TRY to do it themselves.

I have a long standing joke with my mother that I'm going pop myself out a kid and live the rich life at the top of the welfare system! but sadly (okay not sadly at all) I have far to much pride in myself to ever do more then joke about it.

But I won't start on my gripes, I'd be here forever!

[Ysobelle]

I understand where you're all coming from. I really, really, REALLY do.


But I can't be the only one cringing when I hear the words, "Mandatory Birth Control," can I? It gives me the heebie-jeebies.

[Belladonna]

Ni Nikki...you're not...

If they told me that I HAD to go onto birth control in order to collect, I would tell them to fuck off. It's my right to do with my body as I please. Now granted, I voluntarily went back onto birth control after Reilly even though I dont need it. (I'm not doing anything to warrant use!) :cry:

But.....

If they made me, I would feel that my rights were being infringed on. HOWEVER....if I was one of these women that CONTINUALLY popped out kids, I would think it should be required...like if you've been in the system for longer then three years with 'x' many kids....then yes. But not for someone like me who has one child, needs the help, and will only be on it till I can get on my feet permanently.

[Alianne]

I understand where you're all coming from. I really, really, REALLY do.


But I can't be the only one cringing when I hear the words, "Mandatory Birth Control," can I? It gives me the heebie-jeebies.

On one hand, I see where you're coming from, but...

OTOH, people make choices every day about how many children they can afford. Hubby and I decided to stop after our second child because that was how many kids we felt we could afford and provide for. We made the decision to make that birth control decision permanent, so our family is done.

Why shouldn't those who are receiving public assistance be held to a different standard? They're *not* working for a living (with the exception of states that have mandatory work/school programs), they receive *our* dollars as 'salary'. And in states with no cutoffs for additional children, each birth results in an increase in stipend. Worse, many of these kids are fathered by different men and the women aren't getting child support to help with the kids' upkeep.

If a woman isn't going to ultimately take responsibility for her own reproductive life *and* is going to receive public dollars, I don't have a problem with structuring a program along the lines of...

1) If a woman has children going into the public system, she agrees to long-term birth control (i.e., implant or shot) for as long as she receives assistance. She must provide proof of updates of same at appropriate intervals to continue receiving assistance.

2) Children born after the date the woman starts receiving assistance (if she is not pregnant at that time) will not be allowed additional subsidy. (possible exception -- because no form of birth control is 100%, if the woman has been following the rules and providing proof of updates (monthly shots, changing the implant, etc), subsidy will be granted -- once.

3) If a woman does not agree to long term birth control, her benefits cease completely after her youngest child (when she entered the system) turns 3 years old. Any children born after she enters the system do not get subsidized.
The only exception to this is if the woman can be medically certified that said birth control methods present a serious health risk to her (and being a smoker doesn't count -- she would either have to quit smoking or sign a waiver accepting higher risk).

We were discussing this at work during lunch the other day. Dammit, if I couldn't have the number of kids we might have liked because of finances -- and we earn our own way -- then those who earn their living off my dollars don't get to keep popping out kids they can't afford and can barely provide for.

I'd also make sure welfare recipients either worked or had to enroll in a job training program or school (and provide child care so they can) in order to continue receiving benefits after their kids hit certain ages. (Hey, I can't stay home with my older kids because I have to work -- they should, too.)

I know this sounds snarky, but geez.....I'm repulsed by the current state of the welfare system in America.

[Alewyn of Aventinus]

'Mandatory Birth Control' also gives me the willies. But as a taxpayer, I don't want to go on supporting someone's every increasing squad of children. I think offering more assistance if the person agrees to a birth control implant would help. A person could refuse but then would receive only the most minimal support. Harsh, yes but at least the person would have a choice.

Now for some humor. I once saw a comic that pictured a pregnant woman, with erlenmeyer flask in hand, outside a fertility clinic. There was a sign reading 'No Littering'. I thought it was a hoot. It was out around the time people first started having those megalitters of kids.

[Belladonna]

My problem would be with mandatory shots or implants. The implants ARE NOT SAFE and the shots fuck people up. I would refuse to take them. Offer me the patch or the pill and I can be okay with that. There is no way to regulate it unfortunatley.

However, by mandating that sort of action, you would also end up with thousands of children (like mine) who wouldnt receive any care. If that was what my option was, to either get assistance for Reilly by taking a shot or implant, I would tell the service to fuck off.

Some people truly do refuse to take those forms of birth control, me included. And I'm the person the system should be working for. I work, albeit part time since I cant afford child care and most of the day care around here I wouldnt leave Saddam at. But I'm trying to make ends meet and simply need TEMPORARY assistance.

I think if you have been in the system for a while is when they should require it....but not off the bat. It would ultimatley drive most deserving people away.

[AllieSutherland]

Why isn't it required that to be on the system that you have to get an education or hold steady employment? Even those that can't work because they are "disabled" can still learn and teach!!!! Why are some of these people getting EVERYTHING for NOTHING?!?!?!?!

Emailia, hon, I wish it were this simple...

(and please, I'm not jumping on or criticising people here... just offering my experience as a POV, because it angers me too...)

I, myself, am on disability, and will likely have to be so for life. Why? Well, to sum up a long story as shortly as possible:

Four years ago, I was teaching fourth grade, and I suddenly (and inexplicably) became blind for two months. Tests, continued health care (for pulmonary and cardiovascular problems), and costs of my medications (which, at the time, would have been around 5000 per month) caused my insurance company to drop me, because, in so many words, it cost them too much to keep me alive. This is COMPLETELY legal in the United States, and EVERYONE is at the mercy of an insurance company to stay alive.

After a few months of tests after my blindness and other symptoms, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. My doctors basically told me that a.) with my other medical problems/medical costs, b.) not being able to hold a teaching job because of the number of days I must have off for physical therapy, tests, treatments, etc. and c.) not being able to try to get insurance coverage through other means because of my now well-established "p$r$e$ - e$x$i$s$t$i$n$g$ c$o$n$d$i$t$i$o$n" (written as such because that is how it appears to insurance companies), I needed to go, apply for SSI/SSDI, and wait for approval.

This wasn't primarily for not being "able" to work. It's about medical coverage. Sure, no employer in his right mind would take me on with what they might have to pay in insurance premiums or the amount of time I would need to have off for illness, appointments, etc. 2002 was a "good" year in the sense that my medical bills, if paid out of pocket, would not have been half of what they were the previous year. My total, combined, full dollar value of every medical cost needed to keep me alive in 2002? (doctor visits, medicine, physical therapy, tests, treatments, nursing help when needed, and assistance devices) totaled over $350,000.

I KID YOU NOT.

I would LOVE to be able to have employment, get a job, and have medical coverage. I would be doing what I LOVED, and helping others with the blessings and kindness that others had shown me through teaching. If I would be covered medically for life, that is all that I need. I live on $552 per month (I budget, and by no means is that a cushy, comfortable existence), live in public housing, and rely on my Medicaid and Medicare.

My primary problem is not with the "system;" in my situation, the problem is with drug companies charging out the yahoo (and using that money for sponsoring racecars, bombarding us with commercials, and pushing free samples of drugs to every doctor in the US). My problem is with insurance companies who have never viewed people as "human beings," and who have the opportunity to deny, withold, and take away coverage, which basically dictates whether we live or die.

My problem with the "system" is that, as a disabled individual, I am not viewed as a worthy-enough potential employee and contributing member of society to enable me TO work by passing tougher legislation against insurance companies, workplace discrimination, and increased funding to research of diseases. If I choose to marry legally, I could have all of my medical benefits (as well as monthly income) stripped. If I tried to get on "potential hubby's" insurance, they could well (and probably would) deny me coverage. I basically cannot have children, because I cannot provide for them financially (and so, in my current situation, I don't see myself having children -- I can't support them).

Vocational rehab will generally help disabled people go to school, but with the nature of my disablity and the medical costs of it, I see very little reason to further my education at this point, and "wasting" funding. My catch-22 is my medical and insurance costs and how that applies to getting medical coverage, and being able to he hired/keep a job based on the nature of my disablity.

Basically, my life IS dictated by "the system." They support me, and basically, if I want to live, I am at their mercy. I have to live my life by their rules.

Do I sit on my butt? Noooo... not by any means. I volunteer with children, animals, and disability advocacy. I maintain all the activities I loved before MS came into my life... and then some! Am I lazy? HELL NO. Living life, and making it day to day, with a disability or not, IS a full time job when you make the most of it. Yes, I wish that I could have an outside job, but until enough people speak up and refuse to be treated as second-class citizens, things will be slow to change.

(and, just a general FYI for everyone... disability (SSDI) and general SSI are paid through the past amounts you paid in the system through working, or (in the case of minors or other people that have been disabled since sometime before the age of 22), their parents' income). Medicaid is a state-funded health coverage, and Medicare is federally funded, although you must pay premiums is you want both parts. In this state (KY), if you are not on disability and want food stamps, you must actively be looking for work (which they check up on monthly) and ACCEPT work when it is offered to you). "Welfare" programs vary from state to state, but most, at least on paper, require that you apply for work and go to job interviews, as well as accept jobs that are offered to you... and there is a strict two year limit (total lifetime limit) on receiving benefits at the present time. Again, this may vary from state to state, but the welfare criteria are supposed to be "universal.")

XOXOXOXOX
Allie

[Avhiennda]

Why isn't it required that to be on the system that you have to get an education or hold steady employment? Even those that can't work because they are "disabled" can still learn and teach!!!! Why are some of these people getting EVERYTHING for NOTHING?!?!?!?!

I can only say what I've seen in my life, ranging from family members to neighborhood people.

With alot of young mothers--especially those whose parent are already on a government system--its easy to just follow the leader and get on public assistance and not leave. The problem here is that many DO NOT THINK OF THE FUTURE PAST WHAT THEY ARE DOING THIS WEEKEND.

Then you have the ones who would like to work, but have no one to take care of their children and can't afford daycare. Not to mention that many of these people don't have the education or experience to work anywhere that makes enough money to live on.

Besides that, there ARE people who WANT to be off public assistance. And I don't mean by working for minimum wage...I mean really push ahead and do well. Unfortunately, the welfare system screws THEM over more royally than the ones who do nothing. I should know. I was one of them.

My grandmother raised me after my mother passed away right after childbirth. She placed me on public assistance because she had just recently become disabled herself. So I grew up on the 'System'.

I hated the system. I mean HATED the system. I used straight up through high school. I busted my butt off to get into a University and I did--with a partial scholarship (I won't even go into the fact that my guidance counselor was trying to get me to apply for a 'secretarial school' or community college instead of a university).

When I reached 18, the case was switched over to my name...and with another caseworker. Now, I was VERY lucky. My old caseworker was AWESOME! I mean, at holidays, we'd even exchange presents! But I got switched and the people working with me were assholes and treated me like dirt.

The cincher, however, is this. Every 3 months I got called into the office because I could be eligible for lunch money, carefare, and clothing money, because I was in school and the program rewarded people who were trying to better themselves and get off of welfare. Every 3 months I needed a letter from my university saying I was a student. Every 3 months I had to miss a day of classes to sit in that office. Every 3 months i was REJECTED because....get this...I was going to a 4 year university and that was considered a luxury.

If i had been attending a trade school or 2 year college, I would have been eligible. But no, I was in a 4 year college, so I got crap. Oh and by the way, the kept calling me saying I might be eligible. And I HAD to show up each time, every 3 months, until I was 21, or else they'd shut my case down. No matter how many times I tried to tell them, that the rejection code was 4114 and i'm wasting a day, let me go, they'd say nope, And I had to wait there ALL DAY for them to tell me that I'd been rejected.

I swore I'd never return to that damned system. And I proudly say that today I'm a 4 year college graduate. And I not only have a job, but a CAREER, where I've just been promoted to AVP with pretty much the biggest bank in the world.

So I guess, as my friend says, I was the success story, and not the statistic.

Well long babble done. I just wanted to let you all know that not everyone gets stuck in the system. Some of us actually make it out and make good. :)

Avhiennda

[jillian]

Okay. Avhiennda wins the prize. This is the first post to offically make me tear up while reading it. I'm still choked up a little. Your story touched me because it is so similar to my own.

In a nutshell, ten years ago I was living in my car with only a blanket and $5 to my name. Today, I'm a junior at a university in a program to get my Master's degree in computer science within the next two years.

Thank you all for sharing your stories.

[emalia]

Do I sit on my butt? Noooo... not by any means. I volunteer with children, animals, and disability advocacy. I maintain all the activities I loved before MS came into my life... and then some! Am I lazy? HELL NO. Living life, and making it day to day, with a disability or not, IS a full time job when you make the most of it. Yes, I wish that I could have an outside job, but until enough people speak up and refuse to be treated as second-class citizens, things will be slow to change.


BUT you GIVE BACK! you are one of the few people that are disabled that give back. I also have a friend that is on disability as she is pregnant with epliepsy, she does what she can to give back (which is very limited as she is under constant supervision). She also is not lazy in the least. Enroll the people that cannot be gainfully employed into volunteer work for lets say 10 hours a month or what have you. That isn't all that much, but it is enough to make a person feel helpful, wanted and usefull. If they can't be employed due to lack of education, educate them... If they can't be taught shoot them. :wink: I was just kiding on that part.

There is a never ending cycle that must be broken somehow, or we will have generations upon generations of people that do NOTHING! The system in Fl does nothing to encourage people to move on.

I say birth control as I see so many children being neglected by the BAD SYSTEM mothers that just had them to get more $, or they (the children) were an occupational hazzard. Also, it is difficult to get your life in order when you are worried about being preg., can barely provide for the children you have now, much less the one on the way. The system should be about putting together what needs to be put together to move on with life and support yourself, not an occupation. Then perhaps being on population control as I have heard it referred to, should be rewarded, as well as encouraged. And those that completely refuse with no medical basis, shouldn't receive as much support.


Avhiennda.. Congrats on the job! Jullian, congrats on your pending degree.. This gives me hope that the human race, of which I am part of, has a future yet.

[cyd]

Why isn't it required that to be on the system that you have to get an education or hold steady employment? Even those that can't work because they are "disabled" can still learn and teach!!!! Why are some of these people getting EVERYTHING for NOTHING?!?!?!?!


Emailia, hon, I wish it were this simple...

(and please, I'm not jumping on or criticising people here... just offering my experience as a POV, because it angers me too...)

I, myself, am on disability, and will likely have to be so for life. Why? Well, to sum up a long story as shortly as possible:

<snip about MS and disability>

Basically, my life IS dictated by "the system." They support me, and basically, if I want to live, I am at their mercy. I have to live my life by their rules.

Do I sit on my butt? Noooo... not by any means. I volunteer with children, animals, and disability advocacy. I maintain all the activities I loved before MS came into my life... and then some! Am I lazy? HELL NO. Living life, and making it day to day, with a disability or not, IS a full time job when you make the most of it. Yes, I wish that I could have an outside job, but until enough people speak up and refuse to be treated as second-class citizens, things will be slow to change.

(and, just a general FYI for everyone... disability (SSDI) and general SSI are paid through the past amounts you paid in the system through working, or (in the case of minors or other people that have been disabled since sometime before the age of 22), their parents' income). Medicaid is a state-funded health coverage, and Medicare is federally funded, although you must pay premiums is you want both parts. In this state (KY), if you are not on disability and want food stamps, you must actively be looking for work (which they check up on monthly) and ACCEPT work when it is offered to you). "Welfare" programs vary from state to state, but most, at least on paper, require that you apply for work and go to job interviews, as well as accept jobs that are offered to you... and there is a strict two year limit (total lifetime limit) on receiving benefits at the present time. Again, this may vary from state to state, but the welfare criteria are supposed to be "universal.")

XOXOXOXOX
Allie

Allie,

*hugs* Being someone else with MS, I understand. I'm a mild case. My worst year would have resulted in over 100 grand in medical bills. My best year is somewhere around 10K. Fortunately, I'm a mild recurring-remitting, and can continue to work most of the time. Plus, I work in the computer industry, where I could always freelance if I absolutely had to. Plus, I'm married, so I can't have my insurance dropped on me, I'm insured both through my work and my husband's work (and for a damn good reason... I know the likelihood of me getting screwed over royally if I ever have to go on disability is HUGE). Even with pre-existing conditions, if you can prove that you've either been insured for a period of 18 months prior, or if you can live without medications for 6 months, the health insurance companies have to take you back. In your case, this is likely not an option, though.

Unfortunately, people abuse the disability payments as well. Not in your case, but in many others. There was a court case a few years back about a construction worker who had hurt his back on the job and went out on disability... And got sued several years later because he'd gotten better and chosen to remain on disability... and was spotted by a case worker, fixing his roof.

However, in your case, you're choosing to give something back. you can't work, so you're choosing to give something back in another way. Volunteering ten hours a week doesn't take the energy out of you that working forty hours a week would.

But in your case, it's NOT YOUR FAULT. You couldn't help the MS diagnosis, you couldn't help the problems that happened to you. It wasn't your fault, you WANTED to work, and couldn't. In many cases, the medical conditions that lead to disability aren't avoidable (or if they are, we don't know how to avoid them). Pregnancy is (although I've heard in some healthcare systems, if you are pregnant when you switch healthcare systems, they consider it a pre-existing condition, and won't pay for pre-natal care, although they will pay for the child once he/she comes out).

In the cases of a lot of these welfare moms, many of them CHOOSE not to work. If someone is willing to pay them for doing nothing, then they don't want to bother... and if they're going to be paid more for another kid, then they will just pop out another one.

I do NOT see a problem with trying to require some form of birth control for mothers on welfare. Why? Because it would prevent the "getting something for nothing" attitude that many of the welfare moms have. No, not all welfare mothers are that way, and there are many who are trying to get themselves OFF welfare. But there are just as many if not more who are only interested in getting a bigger paycheck (not that they've paid attention to the fact that one more mouth to feed is likely not completely covered by said paycheck). If nothing else, free condoms and/or BC pills/patches. Or an IUD. An IUD doesn't appear to have some of the nasty side-effects that a shot or an implant does, and is still fairly up there on the prevention measures. Like any form of birth control, it's got its downsides. But a part of me is VERY annoyed at the fact that there are women out there who will pop out a child every time they want a larger paycheck. Belladonna, I know you aren't one of the ones who will just have another kid, and I know you're on birth control. But there are many out there who just honestly don't care. They just want a bigger paycheck. And the more kids you have, the less expensive it is per kid (handmedowns are a wonderful thing in that respect).

I haven't had kids yet. I stress yet. I've also got a job that supports me, and a husband with a job that supports him. We both want to wait a few years so we can be sure that we'll be both financially and emotionally responsible for a child. The two of us are making sure that we can support a child before bringing one into this world, we are not bringing one into the world just so we can get more money.

I agree with the "one accident" policy. No birth control is 100% effective unless you go the permanent routes. So if a woman accidentally has a kid while on welfare, fine, then ONE child birthed after going on welfare can be supported. One. That's it. And that's only if she's got proof she's been at least getting a method of birth control (while you can't prove that someone's been taking birth control, you can at least prove that they've come in to GET their pills or patches). But this limitless child thing is drivign me nuts. I'm only having a maximum of two kids, both for my own sanity, and for the monetary reasons. I'm actually trying to be responsible for my own life. And it's unfair to the children born into the welfare generation who believe that it's the only way to exist, for their mothers to have them just so they can get a bigger check. And it's unfair to those who have to support them, namely the taxpayer in general.

But that's just my opinion. :rant:

Cyd