View Full Version : Hump Day Funnies

10-22-2003, 04:25 PM
Ladies Night
Last night, my friends and I went to a Ladies Night Club. One of the girls wanted to impress the rest of us, so she pulled out a $10 bill. When the male dancer came over to us, my friend licked the $10 bill and stuck it to his butt cheek!

Not to be outdone, another friend pulls out a $20 bill. She called the guy back, licks the $20 bill, and sticks it to his other butt cheek.

In another attempt to impress the rest of us, my third friend pulls out a $50 bill and calls the guy over, and licks the $50 bill. I'm worried about the way things are going, but fortunately, she just stuck it to one of his butt cheeks again.

My relief was short-lived. Seeing the way things are going, the guy gyrates over to me!!! Now everyone's attention is focused on me, and the guy is egging me on to try to top the $50. My brain was churning as I reached for my wallet...... What could I do???? The woman in me took over! I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his butt and grabbed the eighty bucks!

Why Buy The Cow - A Twist on an Old Saying

For all those men who believe that there's no reason to buy the cow when you can get the milk free, nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, as they have wised up to the fact that for 7 inches of sausage it's not worth buying the entire pig!

And my answer to the last one is ... That's not 7 inches! :lol:


10-22-2003, 04:29 PM
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

10-22-2003, 04:40 PM
Oh my god!

I haven't laughed so hard in I don't know when!

*staggers off laughing and mumbling....slides the ATM card down his butt crack*

Mairi the Herbwench
10-22-2003, 05:15 PM
That was too funny! I'm running a nap here in the lab, trying to be quiet, and I burst out laughing. If my patient wakes up, it'll be all your fault!

And I heard that the reason that women are such poor judges of distance is because all their lives they're told that :arrow: :arrow: is 10 inches! (OK, imagine holding your fingers apart 2".)

10-22-2003, 07:27 PM
HAHAHAHA :rotfl:

10-22-2003, 10:51 PM
Yeah, it is a funny bit...

10-23-2003, 09:35 PM


10-24-2003, 02:55 PM
Happiness is like peeing your pants ... Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth.

:oops: O.K. so it is a little gross but it is also funny.

Jeannie Fitzgerald
10-24-2003, 03:47 PM
Happiness is like peeing your pants ... Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth.

Actually, when I'm around people who are laughing, even if I don't know why, I do feel the warmth. Laughter is contagious...and can cause pants peeing.