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Entropy
11-03-2003, 10:54 PM
YOU DO HAVE TO LAUGH AT THIS ONE.

This has got to be one of the funniest incidents I've heard in a
long time. This guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a
true story from the 'WordPerfect Helpline,' which was transcribed
from a recording monitoring the Customer Care Department.
Needless to say, the HelpDesk employee was fired. However, he is
currently suing the WordPerfect Organization for 'termination
without cause.' This is the actual dialogue of the former
WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now you will know why they
record these conversations).

'Rich Hall, computer assistance; how may I help you?'

'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'

'What sort of trouble?'

'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'

'Went away?'

'They disappeared.'

'Hmmm. So what does your screen look like now?'

'Nothing.'

'Nothing?'

'It's blank. It won't accept anything when I type.'

'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'

'How do I tell?'

'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?'

'What's a sea-prompt?'

'Never mind can you move your cursor around the screen?'

'There isn't any cursor. I told you it won't accept anything I
type.'

'Does your monitor have a power indicator?'

'What's a monitor?'

'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it
have a little light that tells you when its on?'

'I don't know.'

'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the
power cord goes into it. Can you see that?'

'Yes, I think so.'

'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged
into the wall.'

'Yes, it is.'

'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were
two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?'

'No.'

'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the
other cable.'

'Okay, here it is.'

'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the
back of your computer.'

'I can't reach.'

'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?'

'No.'

'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?'

'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle it's because
it's dark.'

'Dark?'

'Yes, the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming
in from the window.'

'Well, turn on the light then.'

'I can't.'

'No? why not?'

'Because there's a power failure.'

'A power..a power failure?..Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do
you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your
computer came in?'

'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'

'Good. Go and get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just
like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you
bought it from.'

'Really? Is it that bad?'

'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'

'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'

'Tell them you're too fucking stupid to own a computer.'

AnnaFaerie
11-04-2003, 08:22 AM
Don't you love Urban Legends? I think some of these get started because it's what we would love to say to people.

Random
11-04-2003, 11:29 AM
How about one from REAL life? When I worked at Cablevision I got a call I will NEVER forget...

Me: Thank you for calling Cablevision customer service this is Dan Speaking, How May I help you?

Customer: Yeah Hi... I'm having problems with my TV.

Me: OK... well let me have your Name and Address and I'll verify your acct and we'll see what we can do.

Customer: Well, I really dont think thats nessasary... I just figured I'd make sure you were working in the Area.

Me: Well, what area are you in sir?

Customer: I live in Warwick...

Me: OK... well, let me have you info and I'll check specifically.

Customer: I guess... (Gave me info) So you're working here right?

Me: Actually Sir, we aren't... seems you have a real problem. When did this start?

Customer: Well, it only happened a few minutes ago... I was watching it and then it was ALL static! You're SURE you arent working out here?

Me: Yes sir... Well lets check your connections first, look behind the TV sir. Can you check to see if all your wires are nice and tight?

Customer: Not really...

Me: Is the TV too close to the wall sir? can you move it out some?

Customer: It isnt that... My Cat is back there.

Me: Your Cat sir??

Customer: Yeah, he was sittin on top of the TV and he fell back there.

Me: How long ago Sir???

Customer: Just before the TV went out!

Me: And the Cat is still back there Sir?!

Customer: Yeah... he's a little pissed right now so I cant get him.

Me: Right... well, I can suggest two things sir...

Customer: OK... what are they?

Me: The first is getting your cat out from behind the TV and checking your connections since he probabally knocked things loose when he fell back there...

Customer: Oh... Is there something easier?

Me: Yes sir... Look into the Cat's Left eye... if you see HBO just watch your cat and ignore the TV.

At this point I hung up.

Isabelle Fawkes
11-04-2003, 04:04 PM
:rotfl:

Okay this was just too good to keep here so I had to pass it on. I've worked customer service jobs for over 15 years and I can relate to this. Some people just have no clue when it comes to electronics.

PriestesM
11-04-2003, 05:21 PM
While I was not "officially" the IT person at my previous job, I was a department manager who was a bit computer savy and so I often solved problems of a computer nature instead of escallating to our one poor overworked IT person.

I had a customer service rep tell me that her computer wasn't working anymore. The screen was still all it up and the lights where on on the front of the "box thingy" but it didn't respond... so I went to her desk to see what was wrong.

Well, it turns out, she had rearranged her desk so that the computer keyboard was on the other side, closer to her phone. The keyboard cable didn't reach the place where she wanted the keyboard, so she unplugged it, and just draped it over the other side of the desk, out of the way.

I had to calmly explain to her that the keyboard must be plugged into the "box thingy" inorder for it to "hear" you press the keys.

yeah.
~M

Bonnie
11-04-2003, 06:22 PM
oof.

wow.

I am a complete ignoramus about computers, but even *I* know that much. wow. :shock:

Entropy
11-04-2003, 07:42 PM
How about one from REAL life? When I worked at Cablevision I got a call I will NEVER forget...

Me: Thank you for calling Cablevision customer service this is Dan Speaking, How May I help you?

Customer: Yeah Hi... I'm having problems with my TV.

Me: OK... well let me have your Name and Address and I'll verify your acct and we'll see what we can do.

Customer: Well, I really dont think thats nessasary... I just figured I'd make sure you were working in the Area.

Me: Well, what area are you in sir?

Customer: I live in Warwick...

Me: OK... well, let me have you info and I'll check specifically.

Customer: I guess... (Gave me info) So you're working here right?

Me: Actually Sir, we aren't... seems you have a real problem. When did this start?

Customer: Well, it only happened a few minutes ago... I was watching it and then it was ALL static! You're SURE you arent working out here?

Me: Yes sir... Well lets check your connections first, look behind the TV sir. Can you check to see if all your wires are nice and tight?

Customer: Not really...

Me: Is the TV too close to the wall sir? can you move it out some?

Customer: It isnt that... My Cat is back there.

Me: Your Cat sir??

Customer: Yeah, he was sittin on top of the TV and he fell back there.

Me: How long ago Sir???

Customer: Just before the TV went out!

Me: And the Cat is still back there Sir?!

Customer: Yeah... he's a little pissed right now so I cant get him.

Me: Right... well, I can suggest two things sir...

Customer: OK... what are they?

Me: The first is getting your cat out from behind the TV and checking your connections since he probabally knocked things loose when he fell back there...

Customer: Oh... Is there something easier?

Me: Yes sir... Look into the Cat's Left eye... if you see HBO just watch your cat and ignore the TV.

At this point I hung up.

HA HA HA HA...THAT IS GREAT!!!! :rotfl:

Rocket RN
11-05-2003, 04:07 PM
I had a friend who worked a computer support line who actually had a customer call and ask where the "any" key was, because the comuputer was telling him to press any key to continue.

~V~

AnnaFaerie
11-05-2003, 04:38 PM
OMG! You must be kidding!?!?!?! How stupid are people getting?

'Nise
11-05-2003, 05:50 PM
True story:
Back about 12-15 years ago some guy asked my Uncle (a famous practical joker) how he got a grid up on his monitor. He deadpanned, "oh it's easy, just put graph paper in the disk drive."
A few weeks later his freind, a computer tech called him in a blind rage becuase he had just spent tow hours pulling graph paper bits out of this idiots disk drive.

love
'Nise