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Leela
12-02-2003, 06:18 PM
Hi ladies! From today's Inky! Enjoy!

:D
Leela

The land of 1,000 slogans
By John Grogan
Inquirer Columnist

Boy, I'm impressed. When it comes to churning out inspirational state slogans, you guys are as prolific as a herd of Pennsylvania deer.

Last week, I issued the call to duty on behalf of Gov. Rendell, who needs our help coming up with the perfect tourism slogan - something that puts a cheery gloss on this great state of ours, warts and all.

And, patriots that you are, you delivered in a big way. My eyes are bleary. My brain is numb. At last count, I had received more than 500 slogans - from as far away as England.

I laughed. I cried. I groaned. And the best news of all: Several of them can actually be published in the newspaper. One of the more genteel ones came from Mark Saxton of Bristol: "Pennsylvania: E-ZPass my ass!"

That's the spirit, Mark. Pure poetry.

But perhaps none touched my heart like this sentimental rhapsody from a group of office workers who requested anonymity because their boss wouldn't understand them performing their civic duty on company time: "Pennsylvania - Hey, WHAT THE #@$%?"

I ask you, does public service get any finer than this?

Many of you focused your talents on the state of our elite road system.

"Our potholes are forever," Frank Przyborowski of Collegeville gushed. "Drive our roads - if you dare!" wrote Linda Weir Kerper of Jeffersonville.

In trash we trust

The state's abundance of other people's garbage was another hot topic.

From Bruce Flannery of Exton: "We refuse no refuse." And from Tim Lynch of Philadelphia: "Pennsylvania: A great place for your landfill!"

Others clearly were struggling to find a best foot to put forward, as evidenced by this glowing endorsement from Robert Rush of New Hope: "Pennsylvania: Almost a rectangle."

More high praise came from Michael McGonigle, who works at the Philadelphia Museum of Art: "Cooler than Georgia!" Marc Goldwein of Merion had another southern state in mind: "Just like Alabama, but with cities!"

And ice storms, too, Marc!

Phil Sheridan of Philadelphia focused his tourism campaign on the state's vibrant nightlife: "Bring your PJ's - there's nothin' else to do."

Scott Hower of Malvern similarly embraced the leisurely pace: "Where every day seems like a lifetime."

Alan Cooper of Hawley, a town in the Poconos, celebrated the state's untamed wildlife - of both the four- and two-legged varieties: "Where the deer and the misanthropes play."

Many figured the best way to boost Pennsylvania was to bash its neighbors. New Jersey took the worst beating, although no border state was spared.

Frank Citera of Ambler put a Philly twist on the popular "I love New York" motto: "We loathe New York!"

Dave Emmi of Havertown, on the other hand, gave credit where credit was due: "Pennsylvania: A lot like New York without all the good stuff."

Gas of many kinds

And Ken Konopka of Horsham couldn't resist steering tourists in the right direction: "Cheap gas and booze right across the river."

But Lowell Munson of Doylestown trumpeted at least one homegrown bargain: "The Keystone State: Our radon is free!" Another local source of gaseous emissions inspired one contestant to write: "We've got Arlen Specter, so IN YOUR FACE, OHIO!"

Our state's communist-style liquor-control monopoly inspired a Delaware resident to pen: "Welcome to the People's Republic of Pennsylvania."

Along those lines, Tom Davidson of Blue Bell offered: "We keep our crooks in and your liquor out!" On a more upbeat note, Naomi Rothenberg of Edgmont wrote: "From Amish to zoos, this Pennsylvania's for youse."

Are you guys brilliant or what? The governor will just adore these.

And we're only getting warmed up. Coming tomorrow: the final countdown to our winner, who will receive a $100 gift certificate to Sen. Vince Fumo's favorite restaurant, La Veranda.

For you procrastinators (you know who you are), I am accepting e-mail
submissions through noon today.

So quit stalling and answer the call to duty. And if you misplaced your
dictionary, just remember the immortal entry of West Chester's Rich
Birkenmaier: "Pennslyvania: We can't spell it, either."

Holly
12-02-2003, 06:46 PM
I LOVE it:)

Saucy Ria
12-02-2003, 11:24 PM
After attending a get together in a NY Bar...... My submission for the new Pennsylvania Slogan is....
"PENNSYLVANIA..... AT LEAST WE CAN SMOKE IN OUR BARS!"

:)
Ria

Ysobelle
12-03-2003, 03:22 AM
G-d, those made me CRY!