Feminine Allure: The Wenching Arts!

[Suzanne Boyce]

I've long considered Femininity an illusive concept, and hard to define. It seems to be as individual as the women that in their own way; express it. There is a wenchly allure and come hither glance to it, an essense that only a wench can define and express. Femininity is soft, strong, innocent, guilty, knowing, agressive, passive, in control, out of control, and can't be given or taken; it can only be expressed.

What is femininity to you? How do you express your femininty? How does it set you apart from men? And finally...why are all wenches so beautiful, sexy, desirable, awesome, wonderful, sassy, to much to handle, hot potatoes, drop dead oh my god wubby-licious, creatures? :wink:

Suzanne

[Riah]

Hmmm.
I imagine that the partial answers (being that there is no ablsoutes) might ironicly be in the "Battle" of the sexes.

An extreamly condensed thought I have is that alot of the "Battle" has to do with how our brains and body are put together.

Medulla- It's a scientific fact that women have more 'connectors' between the two halves of their brain. There for we think 4 or 5 Dimentionally, putting alot of multi-tasking into our thought process (probably why men say we "think too much") But men can concentrate better on one point. (Probably why woman say, "Shhh. Man thinking, Ug.") Females spend their Jr. High years. talking to their girlfriends.


Streangth- Men have more muscle mass. Hence their way of dealing with something may be more direct. Women have to think in terms of leverage. That probably translates elsewhere as well. (Men want to be powerful[wanted]. Women want to be beautiful[wanted]. Males spend their Jr. High School years tusseling with their friends (He's not my boyfriend *smirk*)

Women need to feel connected to have sex, Men need to have sex to feel connected. I heard this somewhere. I don't know if it's true or not, but would certainly explain alot of things.

Men thrust out, we take in. I'm sure that's got to factor in there somewhere.

Other then that, I guess it's all how a person tends to the state of their soul and how/what they feed their spirit.

I know I didn't address the issue of what is fem, but I can't there are traits that have been labeled as feminin or masculine, but I'm constantily being surprised and having to rethink my conceptions.

For example the thought of transsexism. In my youth, it was shocking and even wrong. That's what everyone said. But know, the only pause is residual. An "Oh." Not even an "OH!" or "Oh!" But "Oh." and more curiosity then anything else. "oh, a new chick. huh. wonder what that's like.. wonder why they would change.. *shrug* none of my buisness."

Well, there's my oversimplified thought on the subject. :idea:

[Tink]

Let's see....I think it's just appearing softer and more vulnerable than a man. (Even though we we may not be, we let them *think* we are because it helps them feel strong and virile. :wink: )

I don't have any set way of expressing it. I'm just me. Sometimes I can be anything, but feminine....usually when just sitting around with the girls and we're talking "shop". I think I definitely act differently amongst just females as opposed to just males or better stated different amongst friends, whether they are male or female, verses around men I don't know or may be attracted to, if that makes sense. I think it has to do with a comfort level.

I mean I'd never burp out loud in front of anyone new, but once I get comfortable around people....it's pretty much anything goes, letting loose and being comfortable in doing so because I don't feel like I'll be judged or looked upon in a bad way.

I think among the men I know, I am perceived as being rather feminine...yet the ones who know me well, have seen me in anything but mode and I think most find it funny and in some cases, I suppose, endearing.... in a twisted sort of way. One male friend of mine laughs his ass off when I use bad words because as he puts it, "To hear this sweet voice say something like cock sucker, is hysterical." He gets a kick out of my dual nature and doesn't lower my femininity rating just because I sometimes don't act as such...

I don't know....I guess I'm kind of babbling.

Femininity to me is as simple as being girly and sexy, it's a softness, but I think it is also a lot deeper/complicated than that and can be defined in so many ways depending on perception. As with anything, what might be feminine to one, may not be to another.

How it sets us/me apart from men....well, in a way it is what makes one male or female, simply stated. But on a grander scale femininity can also just be a characteristic of one's personality and therefore, cannot be exlusive to the female gender. Just as masculinity cannot be exclusive to the male gender. I think both are present in each gender and it is just a matter of what degree they surface in each individual.

[AllieSutherland]

What is femininity to you? How do you express your femininty? How does it set you apart from men? And finally...why are all wenches so beautiful, sexy, desirable, awesome, wonderful, sassy, to much to handle, hot potatoes, drop dead oh my god wubby-licious, creatures? :wink:

Feminitity, to me, isn't about accepting "society's roles" for women. Too often, I've heard people refer to THINGS as "feminine" -- the way a woman dresses, hobbies or activities, or even cultural stereotypes -- as a measure of how "womanly" a female is.

I think I'm especially sensitive to this with my Civil War re-enacting. Women's roles were VERY defined, and what was acceptable/not acceptable was extremely rigid, without much leeway. Ironically, in Victorian times especially, the working class woman worked like a DOG, often, harder then the men. They were, in my opinion, the "strong" ones... keeping the hearth and home wasn't (and still isn't) an easy job. Now, women have to wear quite a few more hats...

Being your gender, to me, is in your heart and mind. Sexual organs don't make you who you are. I agree with what has been said here regarding what a male and a female tend to see/hear/think/feel... of course, there are exceptions, and probably many of them.

Being feminine, to me, is living with a lot of strength from within. This doesn't mean that males don't have strength, but I can only answer for myself (as a female) and that I feel that there is a bottomless reserve within. Sure, we get tired, worn out, and at wit's end... but we hang on, fueled by love, passion, concern, or many other motivating factors.

Being feminine is not necessarily acting "girly-girl" (although it may be for some, and that's perfectly fine). It goes deeper. It's finding out who you are and falling in love with yourself and knowing yourself, neither of which is selfish or egotistic but a NECESSITY; however, society makes us feel like this is taboo. No wonder, as women, we face so many self-image issues.

Being feminine is finding happiness and fulfillment as completely as possible. To do this, you have to know yourself and be comfortable in both your shell and your mind and heart. True, we can't always have what we want, but we can dream and set goals. We can find happiness and contentment where we are in our journey and in the journey itself while we're still travelling. The "end result" is not the pinnacle, but often, the journey itself.

Being a wench, to me, is "living out loud" with passion, love, laughter and strength. It's being comfortable with who you are WHEN you are that, even if it's not your "ideal." It's fiding the inner strength, nurturing, and caring that bonds us with others. It's being able to share and give with others on a high degree, and yet, to be willing to receive the same from others. It's being in the "good" place where you feel welcomed, adored, and even celebrated just for being you... which is a WONDERFUL thing!!!

I've heard it said many times that perhaps a lot of us may have never really felt a deep sense of "belonging" before discovering Wenchdom. I agree, because this was the case personally. I think this is because there aren't a lot of men or women that live life in this way, and to be a woman in our society that does... well, to be honest, it scares the hell out of most people to see ANYONE that is honestly happy, comfortable with themselves, and full of life and passion for it. We're the roses in a field of dandelions... all are beautiful, but we're rare. ;)

XOXOXOXOXOX
Allie

[justLori]

Wow. Thank you. I needed to hear that.

just Lori

[Suzanne Boyce]

Wow, you all really gave some thoughtful replies. I think Allies comment about womens self-image issues were right on. This society saddles women with "expectations" based on that pink blanket. It expects women to be passive, and want a husband and kids, and that house keeping will fullfill her every desire for domestic bliss.
Get real!
Women are wenches at heart; with dreams and desires and goals, and why anyone should expect less from a woman than they would a man is an insult. Women are very capable, and when they excell, it surprizes people. What surprises me is their surprise...why are women always devalued, or thought not equal to a task? Wenches rock!

I asked the question about *femininity* knowing it can't be defined; as its a state of mind and expressed in a different way by each and every woman. But, society has made femininity a desired trait, and leads us to believe that if you lose your femininity, you're less a woman. How do you lose something life femininity? Is that like losing a thought, a memory, a fact?
Of course you can't lose your femininity. I know biker gals that wear boots and leather and have tatoos, and they are feminine, whatever that means.
I see it as a way of expressing yourself to others...this is me, I have some traits in common with other women, some with men, others are my own...now lay down and pass me the handcuffs!
I think that estrogen has much to do with the way a woman acts and feels, as it affects the brain in a very different way than testosterone does. That hunter/gather - nurturer/caregiver thing isn't an accident, take it from someone that knows how both testosterone and estrogen, feel. Its like night and day.

Femininity is certainly a social construct; if a woman dresses in a certain way, moves with grace, walks like an angel, is passive, receptive, weak and dependant she's Feminine. Men like women that know there place as defined by men.
This is part of why I think being a Wench is so necessary...women need a break from the *expectation* to let their hair down and free their soul. They need to run and jump and be sexy and smart and wild and sensual, and all the things thay can't be in real life; theres no time! I also feel that women need time away from men to be with other women, as that common energy is necessary to recharge and reconnect, and share mutual life experiences. Men will never understand women, and thats as it should be, as not everything in life should be defined and known.

I've always felt that being a woman was a journey began in the heart, and stored as experience in the spirit. Nothing can make you a woman; you are or you aren't, and you know it at your core. How you choose to experience and express yourself, is up to you. Just as being a wench is.
Being a woman isn't an easy thing, or without its own pains, compromises and losses. It takes a special spirit to be a woman, a wench, a caring and loving friend.

This is why all of you are so special. You make being a woman look easy,
while wearing a dozen hats and tending families and giving birth, and being a wife, a mom, a daughter...yourself. I can think of no better group of people to spend several weekends a year with than wenches! Ren Faire isn't just a bunch of people with no lives getting together in funny clothes; it goes much deeper than that. Ren talks to romantic hearts, men and women who treasure values now gone. Being a wench, and feeling attractive, seductive, and all the other things that modern woman has lost contact with; is a way to reconnect with the human values lacking in our society. Wenching is freeing, and revitalizing, and invigorating; its woman in her element, in control, cunning, desirable, and self-expressive.

What is femininity? I don't have a clue, but its an essense I know every wench has. Its something all wenches know how to express, its inhanced by cleavage, a coy smile, a come hither glance. I suppose femininity is being a wench!
Suzanne