how do I explain

[biker]

Now for those who dont know a small bit of background.
nancy and I have custody of her 14yearold nephew. Anthony.
Now his mom is insisting that he become a confirmed catholic. I on the other hand do believe that ALL forms of religion are equally valid, and that to make a child who isnt particualry interestd in the catholic faith to become confirmed is doing nothing but making the religion false for him., to him at least, Ive been trying to explain this to his Mom that Anthony shouldmake the choice which is the correct religion/faith/spiritaul thing for him. that others cannot and should not do that.
Now I was raised has a roman catholic and was literally forced to go thruogh ALL the communion and confirmation classes, has was nancy. Both her and I are united on this, it should be up to the individual. (repeating myself I know)

can anyone come up with some ideas other then me telling her point blank, NO!!! He needs to find the religion for himself.???? Which I have done and it doesnt seem to sink in to Anthony's Mom.

[AnnaFaerie]

Here was my first thought. This is not about religion. His mother is trying to flex her muscles about her son. She has picked a subject that will make you look like bad guys if you refusing her. She may not even see it that way, but I will lay you money it is more about her "winning" than it is about the boy being Catholic.

Again.....this is my humble opinion about people I know nothing about. I hope I didn't offend you and your family....it's just what jumped into my mind when I read your post.

By the way....I raised 4 children....with an open mind to all religions. We didn't go to church, but all of my kids are Christians (as am I).....one Methodist......2 Baptists and a Catholic......go figure.

[biker]

OK
1) you didnt offend in no way, but thanks.

She told us 3.5 years ago when we took custody of him thats what she wanted. She does know that she looses all of those"battles" with me, unless nancy and I agree that its in Anthony's best interest.

[*Gremco]

I was raised in a very Roman Catholic family, but my younger brother has been an aiethiest since he was about 6 or 7. What my mom did was sent him to the confirmation classes, but left it up to him if he wanted to actually get confirmed or not. This way, he learned about Catholocism and had an option as to comit to it or not.

[Magdalene]

Now for those who dont know a small bit of background.
nancy and I have custody of her 14yearold nephew. Anthony.
Now his mom is insisting that he become a confirmed catholic. I on the other hand do believe that ALL forms of religion are equally valid, and that to make a child who isnt particualry interestd in the catholic faith to become confirmed is doing nothing but making the religion false for him., to him at least, Ive been trying to explain this to his Mom that Anthony shouldmake the choice which is the correct religion/faith/spiritaul thing for him. that others cannot and should not do that.
Now I was raised has a roman catholic and was literally forced to go thruogh ALL the communion and confirmation classes, has was nancy. Both her and I are united on this, it should be up to the individual. (repeating myself I know)

can anyone come up with some ideas other then me telling her point blank, NO!!! He needs to find the religion for himself.???? Which I have done and it doesnt seem to sink in to Anthony's Mom.

1.) She doesn't have custody, therefore, not her call to make.

2.) The Catholic Church is trending towards discouraging confirmation that young anyway--they're encouraging confirmations to happen in the child's senior year of high school. You could always ask the parish priest what age he thinks is appropriate, and if he says he'd prefer the kid to be older, you could always toss that back at the mom. Can't argue with the priest after all. *evil grin*

[Nevada]

What does Anthony want? And if he doesn't want this has he told his mother?

[biker]

What does Anthony want? And if he doesn't want this has he told his mother?

He doesnt care. has no real interest in religion.

[Sylencer_Sy]

Well, all I can suggest is to get her drunk and talk her in circles until she says that it's ok, all the while a tape recorder is recording. But then again, that's just me, and no one said I was sane.

[Dragonfly]

Speaking as one who was forced through confirmation and communion and all of those (though not as a Catholic, as a Protestant, with VERY Xtian parents) I would say right now that...for Goddess sake, do NOT force that kid to do anything he doesn't want to!
He might find the religion beautiful later on, he might show interest in it, but in forcing him to do anything concerning it you're putting a negative spin on it. It isn't worship, it isn't connecting with god, it's a drudging, horrid thing one is required to do.
If she's a devout Catholic, then perhaps it will sink in that she will make negative associations with her son, and therefore he would be confirmed, but he would not be a believer. And if I remember correctly, it's a far worse sin to flat out not believe than it is to half-ass your way through Xtianity with what you do know. (Once again, Protestant, not Catholic, so I don't know if that's the attitude there.)
Just my two cents. :)

[Isabella]

Most Catholics I knew were confermed at 12, something that dates back to orgins of their Jewish ancestors. :) I grew up with quite a few Catholics in school, and that was the norm for them. Might be different depending on areas of the country, but that's how I know it. :)

At 14 some kids don't care (well I cared, but I was a different 14 year old.), but I do think some kids need a foundation. Why not get him a book with all the world religions in it including all the forms of Christianity (including Gnostism) and tell him to read it. I think a well rounded kid is a well informed kid. Also consider picking up Doreen Virtue's book on Crystal Children. It's a wonderful introduction to these speical children that I think he might be. His "don't care" additude kinda resonates of that.

Speaking as someone who grew up Pagan in a Family based tradition, I think that just the same as someone growing up Christian you either have a love/hate relationship with your individual family beliefs. I know I have some issues with mine, and some of the community (not all) that I interacted with growing up. That by the time I hit twenty I was done and ready to explore beyond what I had grown up with, which for me was a beautiful growing experiance. I know have a mix of different spiritualites that stem from all over the globe, because I find peace in many idenities and ideleologies that are from my personal background and some that aren't.

I agree the Mom is trying to be "Mom" in this decision, but when she let go of the Custody, the desicion making was no longer hers to have. If he doesn't care about religion, then the issue shouldn't be forced. If later in life he decided, "hey I want to be a Catholic" RCIA is open to anyone of any age, and he can go and become Catholic. But if right now nothing is peeking his interest, it might be because it's become an "issue". Why not let it rest a few weeks, gather up some reading material, and have open table night where you talk to him about what he's reading and how he feels about it.

Isabella