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I'Cin
01-12-2005, 09:53 AM
I planted some birdseed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.

I had amnesia once -- or twice.

I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?

Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

If the world were a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle.

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway.

Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.

When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

What was the greatest thing before sliced bread? Hmmmm?

My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

How can there be self-help "groups"?

Is there another word for synonym?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

The speed of time is one-second per second.

Is it possible to be totally partial?

What's another word for thesaurus?

Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a
man who can't get his pants off.

It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.

Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

Branwen
01-12-2005, 11:13 AM
:rotfl: :rotfl: :snarf: :rotfl: :snarf: :rotfl: :snarf: :snarf: :rotfl: :snarf:


Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?
My brother said, no. But Chairman Mao's would be a Communist plot.

Lug Ironjaw
01-12-2005, 11:24 AM
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?


Thyroid problems.

Absinthe d'Accalia
01-12-2005, 09:29 PM
Lug Ironjaw Writes:


If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?


Thyroid problems.

That made me laugh out loud! :meow:

(as did the list above! Reminded me of Steven Wright's comedy)

Mistress Morigianna
01-26-2005, 05:18 AM
did adam & eve have bellybuttons?

Lug Ironjaw
01-26-2005, 10:18 AM
did adam & eve have bellybuttons?

Yes. The Belly Button was placed by God after their expulsion from Eden. It was meant to be a punishment as they would now spend their life spans removing lint from it.

I'Cin
01-26-2005, 12:53 PM
Yes. The Belly Button was placed by God after their expulsion from Eden. It was meant to be a punishment as they would now spend their life spans removing lint from it.

No, dear, only the men . . . anyone EVER known a woman to have lint in her bellybutton?
:lol:

I'Cin

Psyche
01-26-2005, 06:54 PM
Yes. The Belly Button was placed by God after their expulsion from Eden. It was meant to be a punishment as they would now spend their life spans removing lint from it.

No, dear, only the men . . . anyone EVER known a woman to have lint in her bellybutton?
:lol:
Yep. On occasion. :rotfl:
But Hubby... I swear he is collecting for a full length sweater and blanket!