Mairi the Herbwench
01-28-2005, 11:13 AM
For several reasons I've not posted for a while - they're not important. What is is some good news followed by horrible news.
Good news - my brother is almost done with the last of his chemo and the scan came up clear. Yippee!!! my only brother, andyounger than me, and I wsan't prepared to let him go.
My sister-in-law is the bad news. Her cancer has spread throughout her body and they're goving her just until July. Following one of her recent brain surgeries she had a minor stroke, and seems to be recovering, but the doctors and some of her family are reaching the point of "it's time for the Hospice care" but her husband is still in complete denial. He hasn't told their sone that she's dying - he still expects Jesus to pull a miracle out of his hat and save her, and I don't think that's very likely at this point. I want to take my nephew aside (he's 17 and we're close) and let him know her real status, but I don't want to alientate my brother-in-law. However, I won't want my nephew to feel betrayed by his dad for not being honest with him, either.
Bit of background - myu oldest sister had just turned 21 when my mom died - she was in MN going to college, we were in CA. No one told her my mom was even in the hospital - "didn't want to disrupt her studies" so my sister didn't get to see her alive at the end. My next sister was 19 and in complete denial - she spent every night in the hospital with my mom, except the night she died - she had gone to a movie with friends. Thjis was the first night in 3 weeks that she hadn't sat with my mom - I pointed out to her that maybe mommie waited until she was alone; she had never thought of that. My brother was 11. All of his life our mom had been in and out of the hospital so that was all he knew. No one told him this was my mom's last visit, so he never got to say good bye or apologize for all his bad actions. I was 15 - I had been taking care of my mom, feeding her, bathing her, etc, and was so happy when she finally went to the hospital so I wouldn't find her dead at home. My dad had split years before, and no one knew where he was. So, out of the 4 of us, I was the only one who knew and accepted (and looked forward to) my mom's release.
I want to prevent my nephew from feeling like my brother and sisters - I want him to be able to see her and tell her he loves her, knowing that she won't be around to see him graduate, get married, or have children.
Ray Bradbury once said in "I Sing the Body Electric" - "Never die. Your children will never forgive you." I want my nephew to forgive his mom.
And please all of you - get your mammograms and do self breast exams - men as well as women.
Good news - my brother is almost done with the last of his chemo and the scan came up clear. Yippee!!! my only brother, andyounger than me, and I wsan't prepared to let him go.
My sister-in-law is the bad news. Her cancer has spread throughout her body and they're goving her just until July. Following one of her recent brain surgeries she had a minor stroke, and seems to be recovering, but the doctors and some of her family are reaching the point of "it's time for the Hospice care" but her husband is still in complete denial. He hasn't told their sone that she's dying - he still expects Jesus to pull a miracle out of his hat and save her, and I don't think that's very likely at this point. I want to take my nephew aside (he's 17 and we're close) and let him know her real status, but I don't want to alientate my brother-in-law. However, I won't want my nephew to feel betrayed by his dad for not being honest with him, either.
Bit of background - myu oldest sister had just turned 21 when my mom died - she was in MN going to college, we were in CA. No one told her my mom was even in the hospital - "didn't want to disrupt her studies" so my sister didn't get to see her alive at the end. My next sister was 19 and in complete denial - she spent every night in the hospital with my mom, except the night she died - she had gone to a movie with friends. Thjis was the first night in 3 weeks that she hadn't sat with my mom - I pointed out to her that maybe mommie waited until she was alone; she had never thought of that. My brother was 11. All of his life our mom had been in and out of the hospital so that was all he knew. No one told him this was my mom's last visit, so he never got to say good bye or apologize for all his bad actions. I was 15 - I had been taking care of my mom, feeding her, bathing her, etc, and was so happy when she finally went to the hospital so I wouldn't find her dead at home. My dad had split years before, and no one knew where he was. So, out of the 4 of us, I was the only one who knew and accepted (and looked forward to) my mom's release.
I want to prevent my nephew from feeling like my brother and sisters - I want him to be able to see her and tell her he loves her, knowing that she won't be around to see him graduate, get married, or have children.
Ray Bradbury once said in "I Sing the Body Electric" - "Never die. Your children will never forgive you." I want my nephew to forgive his mom.
And please all of you - get your mammograms and do self breast exams - men as well as women.