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View Full Version : THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD AT WORK....



ambar
02-03-2005, 11:28 AM
1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit .

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.

6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying.

10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...

11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?

24. Do I look like a people person?

25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

26. I started out with nothing &still have most of it left.

27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

36. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.

39. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

40. Oh I get it... like humor... but different.

Nightfire
02-03-2005, 01:16 PM
I like it...!

Captain Stamina
02-03-2005, 01:28 PM
When you fell out of the stupid tree, did you manage to hit every branch on the way down?

When you were promoted to manager (director, VP, etc) was your lobotomy done for free?

I’m working on improving my psychic abilities to better anticipate the customers needs.

Would it be too much to ask you to just do your (insert favorite expletive here) job?

biker
02-03-2005, 01:52 PM
I've saide a few of these at work. To both jr and sr people.

MacKahlia
02-04-2005, 05:50 AM
Can I post this in my high school classroom?
I want to say these to most of my students.... most of the time...


:roll:

My quote of the day,"Ms Z., I cant do your assignment cause I barely read. I gonna graduate not able to read." My response, "no, you arent. You just wont graduate"


GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Molly
02-04-2005, 06:44 AM
sadly, #6 has been my mantra lately

Phoenix McHeit
02-04-2005, 07:20 AM
:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::r ofl::aok:
oh man Ambar - those are great!!!!!

Madame Maria
02-06-2005, 09:36 PM
These are great....thanks for sharing!! :rotfl:

Janelle of Warren
02-07-2005, 06:01 AM
:cheer: I've seen lists like this before, but somehow missed #1. I'd love to say that to a person or two!

Fiona Freckl'dbottom
02-07-2005, 08:06 AM
"10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again... "

:lol: :lol: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

I like the whole list, but that one's my fave!

Bean
02-07-2005, 11:54 PM
Okay, how the heck did you meet my boyfriend!!!???? I have heard several of these come out of his mouth when he talks about his job!!

Lady Sarah
02-08-2005, 08:06 AM
I'd love to be able to say these.... I mostly let my blank looks and raised eyebrows do the talking for me. The other person gets the message, I didn't say a word and my job rating is safe.

((muttering them under my breath after said idiot has left the cube is another matter entirely! :lol: ))

Lennie
02-08-2005, 07:33 PM
I love to be able to say these at my job.....Especially #24 (maybe people would finally leave me alone)

Captain Stamina
02-09-2005, 08:00 AM
I forgot to mention, “I see the Chaos Committee got involved in this.” This is when something is going/working really well, then gets changed to “Improve” it and then completely befuddles it.

Fiona Freckl'dbottom
02-09-2005, 08:19 AM
Nothing to see here, folks, please keep moving.... :oops:

Entropy
02-21-2005, 09:29 AM
#22 is my personal favorite...and I use it often.

Branwen
02-22-2005, 06:16 PM
I personally love,
I’m working on improving my psychic abilities to better anticipate the customers needs. I have even printed it out & placed it at my desk at work. Right over the phone. Of course there a number of other REAL good ones that I wouldn't mind placing up on my cubicle wall. Unfortunately they may get me escorted out of the building.