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Adriana Rose
03-18-2005, 01:08 PM
Why Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared for the answer:


In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand-a-grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've know you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about
them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.

The Lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?

"She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he
was a youngster too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He
can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of
the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with
three different women, one of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very
quiet voice, said, "If either of you bastards asks that bitch if she knows
me, I'll throw your sorry asses in jail for contempt.

Lady Laurel
03-18-2005, 01:16 PM
That was good :!: I have several friends that are going to get a kick out of that one. :lol:

Absinthe d'Accalia
03-18-2005, 01:58 PM
Funny, funny, funny! (I work in a legal department!)

Buxom Wench
03-19-2005, 11:26 AM
Gee, ..... sounds like a couple of attorneys I know.