Lady Laurel
04-29-2005, 11:01 AM
Subject: FW: Why Men are Just Happier People
>
>
>Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple
>creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans
>take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.
> >You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white
>T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car
>mechanics tell you the truth.
>
> >The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station
>restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and
>think
>of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add
>character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
>
> >People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them. The
>occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected New shoes don't cut,
>blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations
>are
>over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A 5-day vacation
>requires only one suitcase . You can open all of your own jars. You get
>extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to
>invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
>
> > Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more
>than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable
>to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original
>color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades. You only
>have
>to shave your face and neck.
>
> >You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big
>hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes = one color for all seasons. You can
>wear shorts no matter what how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with
>a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
>
> > You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25
>minutes
>No wonder men are happier.
>
>
>Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple
>creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans
>take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.
> >You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white
>T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car
>mechanics tell you the truth.
>
> >The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station
>restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and
>think
>of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add
>character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
>
> >People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them. The
>occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected New shoes don't cut,
>blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations
>are
>over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A 5-day vacation
>requires only one suitcase . You can open all of your own jars. You get
>extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to
>invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
>
> > Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more
>than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable
>to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original
>color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades. You only
>have
>to shave your face and neck.
>
> >You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big
>hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes = one color for all seasons. You can
>wear shorts no matter what how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with
>a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
>
> > You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25
>minutes
>No wonder men are happier.