View Full Version : I am soooo sorry (LOL)

Mistress Morigianna
08-25-2009, 08:31 PM
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Glendora night before last.

I was the gal with the black purse that you demanded I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me . You also asked for my earrings..
I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize. I didn't expect you to wet your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside.
You see, I had just bought me that .45 pistol , and had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh?
It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it? I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with your wet pants. I'm sure it was even worse since
you also ended up leaving your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again.
I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself and four other people in the gas station this morning a tank full of gas on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet.
I threw the wallet in a fancy pink "pimp mobile" parked at the curb after I broke the windshield and side window out and keyed the drivers side. I
called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Ma Bell just shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service.
I could only get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI with it. The FBI guy was really pissed and we had a long chat (I guess while he traced the number).

I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky.
P.S. Remember this motto...... an armed society is a polite society!

(sent by my aunt as a funny forward)

08-26-2009, 12:09 AM
Hello Did this happen to you? Did you do all this?

Blue Pixie
08-26-2009, 12:17 AM
OMG that's funny! I would love if it happened for real.

08-26-2009, 01:06 AM
Hello Did this happen to you? Did you do all this?

(sent by my aunt as a funny forward) I'm guessing this means no.

Isabelle Warwicke
08-26-2009, 02:40 AM
If anyone on this board would do something like this, it would totally be Morigianna.

Too bad I live in a state that will never pass a conceal and carry law.

08-26-2009, 04:00 AM


That was too funny...

Mistress Morigianna
08-26-2009, 04:43 AM
attually I don't own a gun. (well does a 22 count?) Had a pistol grip crossbow once.....

I have just about every other weapon though including really cool playing card "stars" like in mcgees alice.... and sai too.

I can flip and twirl butterfly knives like a pro (started at 12 yrs old) and throw throwing knives pretty well.

I gave up my bow when i got too big of boobs but still have knives, swords, lance, cresent boline, axe, pike, and anything pretty much with a blade on it.

There is a reason that the degenerants in riverside know NOT to ask me for change or a cigerette. They pretty much don't bother anyone coming out of our shop. The day Matt was walking and someone tried to come up behind him and he auto dropped into a defense stance from kung fu and unhooked the 3 knives on his belt in seconds.... I HAD the SWORD! HA-HA

I think my sharpest weapon is my wit. I had a guy try to flash me in a long coat and shock me- I looked and said the usual line'- "Gee Is that all there is? I would put that away if I were you before someone accuses me of child endangerment...."

Drea Beth
08-26-2009, 08:43 AM
Guess it's just me, but I fail to see the humor. ::shrug::

08-26-2009, 08:44 AM
I needed that chuckle. :-D

Lady Sarah
08-26-2009, 12:29 PM
Yes, a .22 counts as a firearm. If it takes bullets and goes bang, it's a firearm. Really... :unamused:

And anyone who's ever sat through a Conceal Carry licensing class won't find the humor in that either. A conceal/carry doesn't allow you to act like your own brand of vigilante, such the joke suggests. The moment the window was broken out of the 'pimp mobile', the holder of that license would have been on grounds to LOSE said license... because, y'know, committing a crime is not a good thing...

Yes, it's a joke. I get it. But jokes like this piss me off.

08-26-2009, 12:47 PM
And anyone who's ever sat through a Conceal Carry licensing class won't find the humor in that either.

I beg to differ. I know plenty of people that have sat through a concealed weapons class that would find this joke entertaining, my father being one of them. I do agree though, that just because one has that license, one does not have the right to act as a vigilante. It's just like any other license, it was given to someone because that person passed the required courses and earned the right to have it. Unfortunately, just because that person passes doesn't guarantee safety. Look at all the idiots on the road who managed to pass the driving exams. :unamused:

I look at it this way. It was a joke. If it made you laugh, you laughed. If it didn't, again I say, it was a joke. Just shrug it off and don't let it eat at you or piss you off...

08-27-2009, 10:34 PM
I'm from So Cal and I am quite familiar with Glendora. I have to laugh because I can see this happening out there!


08-29-2009, 09:33 AM
Personally - I loved it. Too bad something like that didn't really happen. I used to be very anti-gun, but I have a friend who is VERY into guns and have learned a lot from him. And my soldier-boy Cameron also is a gun fanatic. He's an expert marksman and actually learned the right way to handle a gun when he was in the Boy Scouts. Guns still scare the crap out of me - but it's not because of the guns themselves, it's because of the fargin, flaming idiots who carry and use them like we're in old Dodge City.