PDA

View Full Version : My apologies to Cap'n Stamina



daBaroness
09-07-2009, 07:17 PM
Thought that would get your attention girls.

I had an *interesting* encounter today at KCRF and I knew I had to both share and pass along the message Cap'n Stamina gave to me. I know he meant me to share it because he's a very intelligent man who wouldn't hold me personally and singularly accountable for his view of all of the evil bitches of the IWG who banned him from the forums here.

I stopped into faire briefly on Saturday to pick up a few costume pieces, say a quick hello to a few people and talk to Cheryll about working some shifts at the front gate this season. It was essentially another Saturday errand. My garb wasn't done until late last night, so today was the first day I went out in garb.

I was in my usual stomping grounds at Yorkshire Wharf (where MentalPause's new incarnation has their show) when I saw Cap'n Stamina. Not being a grude holder myself and being possessed of a modicum of social graces, I stopped (rather than passing him without a word) and said "hello." I wasn't expecting a warm welcome, but a polite and civilized exchange of pleasantries didn't seem an act of war. The Cap'n was looking over my head and again I said, "hi." He shifted his gaze downward as if smelling garbage and said, "Oh! Here to stab me in the back again?" Taken slightly aback I responded simply, "oh, that's how it is, OK ... bye." I turned and continued on my way to the stage.

Mind you, the way I was raised and the way I raised my sons is to be pleasant and courteous to everyone. Passing three feet away from the Cap'n and acting as though I didn't see him is rude in my book. My teen-age son was simply stunned and after we'd passed he said, "What the fuck is his problem?" I told him simply that Werner had been banned from posted on the boards here and apparently he held me singularly responsible. Taylor said, "I'd have punched the motherfucker in the throat," and seizing up on the "teachable moment" I just told him that while I appreciated his offer of doing physical violence in defense of my honor, it wasn't worth the energy and I prefer to fight my own battles.

I apologize to the Cap'n that he caught me with my wit down - normally I'd have responded with something like, "No - this time I'm here to stab you in the heart." But I then realized he's just a guy - and as such, it's terribly good at expressing himself in a mature manner. I know that saying something like, "In light of what went on with the IWG boards, I don't want to talk to you." OK - I get that, really, I do.

But I realized I owe another apology to Werner - I know he can either read this himself or someone can relay it to him. I know I'm a wordy, know-it-all bitch with too many opinions and too few brain cells, and I'm sorry you're under the mistaken impression that I have so much power here that I singlehandedly got you booted off. I fight my own battles. I whatever I had to say to you - I did so here in public - even asking several times that you stop the baiting and derisive rhetoric because I saw that it was causing what I personally thought was unnecessary ugliness. I never wrote a word of complaint to anyone - especially to Snipe. And you sir, never acknowledged any of my repeated requests for restraint and less political sparring.

It was a done deal - you had been banned from the boards when I posted my support of that ban. I felt bad that it had come to the point where others (not me) made the decision. I found out afterwards that it was not a decision made lightly and others with far more power than I had asked you on several occasions to desist. To my understanding they weren't trying to curb your freedom of speech, they simply asked you to be less inflammatory and less insulting to some of the members (again not me) here. Failing that - a decision was made.

Frankly - while it caused some heated debate and understandably feeling were hurt - I for one have to admit it is more pleasant to post here knowing I'm not going to be flamed or mocked - or that a name-calling contest isn't going to break out. I did say here that the Cap'n's style of flirting or roguery made me uncomfortable - after the fact. It wasn't really a personal thing - I'm just not a big in-person, touchy-feely, flirty kind of girl. It makes me uncomfortable no matter who does it - but I usually bear it because I don't know of a tactful way to tell a guy that he's creeping me out - without being referred to as any number of colorful ephitats usually starting with bitch.

My biggest issue with Werner was his unwillingness or inability to just be courteous and thoughtful of others occasionally. No one person agrees 100% with any other person but respecting someone's right to have a different opinion or not find certain words, behaviors, etc., off-putting is just tiring after a while. Sometimes I just want to spew - I don't want to be assassinated for spewing or for expressing my viewpoint. I don't expect anyone to believe as I do - I just love discussion and sharing of views. And there's a difference between sharing views, beliefs and opinions and cramming your ideology down everyone else's throats.

Finally - I've said it before and I'll say it again. I love the fact that this is THE wench board. I don't mind if guys post here or if they have views, opinions and beliefs that are 180 degrees from mine. What I DO mind is when guys come in here with an attitude of male supremecy expecting to be adored and obeyed as the rooster over a bunch of hens. Some guys don't even know they do that - some guys think they're too clever for us poor wimmenfolk to catch on as long as they turn a cute and playful phrase here and there. And some are just so self-absorbed and needy they don't care.

I'm not trying to stir up a dead pot of shit - but after careful consideration I realized I'm just a singular representative of all the evil, stupid "bitches" here who are responsible for the Cap'n's banning and he'd want his message of blame and resentment shared equally among us.

So - from woman who fights her own battles and accepts the responsibility for her own actions - I admit to being a snarky bitch for posting this. Oh - make that a snarky bitch who's had any feelings of remorse over the Cap'n's banishment aswaged by today's demonstration of immaturity and rudeness.

And I didn't say it to your face because I'd have had to pull Taylor off you if you said another insulting or rude word.

Selena
09-07-2009, 08:00 PM
Fuck me.
Fuck me NOW. :shhh:

I'm in a serious need of a fuckin' girl crush at the moment. Tag... you are IT.

bitch. :wink:

but hooooolllly shit did you bring up the dead.



And no offense to his wife, cos she IS an IWG member... but if I were to post some of the unsolicited PM's this person sent to me... neither would be amused. (no, not the flirty ones, but the troll-to-get-a-rise-out-of-you type. )

Gemdrite
09-07-2009, 09:52 PM
I'm sorry, and I may be in the minority in this, but I'm not sure what your purpose was in posting this thread. The man is gone. He's been gone. He was banned. It's over. Why rehash? Why bring it all up again, particularly behind his back, as for obvious reasons he can't defend himself? Why cause hurt to an IWG member by flaming their spouse in public, when what happened between you two was a private affair? I don't see your purpose in posting this exchange here.

Annabella St. Clair
09-07-2009, 10:32 PM
This post is inappropriate and the title was deceptive. It should be deleted.

daBaroness
09-07-2009, 10:44 PM
I'm sorry, and I may be in the minority in this, but I'm not sure what your purpose was in posting this thread. The man is gone. He's been gone. He was banned. It's over. Why rehash? Why bring it all up again, particularly behind his back, as for obvious reasons he can't defend himself? Why cause hurt to an IWG member by flaming their spouse in public, when what happened between you two was a private affair? I don't see your purpose in posting this exchange here.

Because he's not gone. He's still here - he just can't post a response. And because apparently after all this time - he's still pissed enough to have been rude to me at my home faire. And because frankly - it not only startled me, but frightened me a bit. I don't know if he ever confronted anyone at Scarby in this manner or not - but his words and his tone conveyed a LOT of anger that I honestly feel is misplaced on me alone. I do believe I'm a symbol to him and since either distance (and real-life anonymity) or peer pressure at Scarby have kept him from venting his anger in person until today.

I bring this up again for two reasons - first - because I felt certain others of us here in some way need to know that his real-life anger over the IWG boards is palpable and in my mind at least confirms that it was probably prudent to ban him. Second - I don't like bullies - and what he said to me today is a form of bullying. Apparently to him, I represent all the women here he dislikes and continues to blame. He has no idea of what I may have said to him in any small conversation, but to be so angry, rude and dismissive of me was uncalled for.

I have never disliked him - until today. I didn't like his behavior or his some of his goading, baiting posts. I have never had a since problem or ill thought about his wife. I'm a big girl, able to separate my feelings for a single individual from those of her/his spouse. I would have liked to have spoken to Isabelle when I saw her - but felt in light of his reaction to me - it would be best not to - they were with friends and I didn't see any reason to invite an uncomfortable or ugly scene. To Isabelle - I hope there are no ill feelings between you and I - you've always been a delight and a valued friend.

Finally - I've already said I posted this in part because of the snarky bitch in me. I will refer you to my comment about disliking bullies and add that because I know I did nothing to get him kicked off these boards - I am unwilling to accept all of his ire and contempt - and I thought the large number of wenches who did register complaints with Snipe and other guild leadership should know what happened today.

daBaroness
09-07-2009, 10:48 PM
This post is inappropriate and the title was deceptive. It should be deleted.

I regret that you feel that way. Had he been less hostile - I may have offered genuine apologies only for what I posted in the past. I've always conducted myself in a polite, lady-like manny towards him in the past so pardon me if I don't like the real-life venom that was spewed today.

Selena
09-07-2009, 11:00 PM
This post is inappropriate and the title was deceptive. It should be deleted.


Just as anything else that is offensive or deceptive?

Let us take vote, then.

If you find any post here inappropriate to you and yours (in general, of course) or find deceptive, please. By all means. Delete.

Or just report it to our webmistress in private. That's more the appropriate measure, don't you think?

Gellis Indigo
09-08-2009, 06:29 AM
I'm sorry, and I may be in the minority in this, but I'm not sure what your purpose was in posting this thread. The man is gone. He's been gone. He was banned. It's over. Why rehash? Why bring it all up again, particularly behind his back, as for obvious reasons he can't defend himself? Why cause hurt to an IWG member by flaming their spouse in public, when what happened between you two was a private affair? I don't see your purpose in posting this exchange here.

Demmit!
You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Gemdrite again.

Mylilpinkpig
09-08-2009, 07:48 AM
By posting this, you are giving Cap'n stamina exactly what he wants....Attention. Thats why he caused all the drama on the boards, acted the way he did to you at Faire...cause he wants/needs attention. The way he gets attention is by causing drama. The best way to deal with him is not to deal with him...ignore him.

Selena
09-08-2009, 08:02 AM
By posting this, you are giving Cap'n stamina exactly what he wants....Attention. Thats why he caused all the drama on the boards, acted the way he did to you at Faire...cause he wants/needs attention. The way he gets attention is by causing drama. The best way to deal with him is not to deal with him...ignore him.


You do have a point. However, it's been almost a year now since all this other mess went down. And yet he found it necessary to be publicly rude to her... at her own home faire, no less? It seems to me as if ignoring isn't doing the trick... and it seems to me he's still extremely angry and lashing out, unprovoked, in person about stuff that has happened here. Much of it is a distant memory to many. How far is too far if he's willing to intentionally pick a fight with someone in person over something that he did to himself?

Isabelle Warwicke
09-08-2009, 10:31 AM
I'd like to say thank you to daB. She brought her feelings to this board, where it is safe to post. She gets to have her say in a protected environment where she can feel secure being honest without getting flamed or publicly verbally flogged.

It isn't pulling up the old bucket of shite, unless everyone else does. She didn't dredge, she shared information of a current happening and made an apology. One that he will more than likely read.

Instead of being upset with her for posting, why aren't you taking more ire for his treatment of her?

shyanwench
09-08-2009, 10:56 AM
I believe that the post is relevant. We all use the board to vent our frustrations. It's cool. Frustrations vented.

AnnaFaerie
09-08-2009, 11:16 AM
I'd like to say thank you to daB. She brought her feelings to this board, where it is safe to post. She gets to have her say in a protected environment where she can feel secure being honest without getting flamed or publicly verbally flogged.

It isn't pulling up the old bucket of shite, unless everyone else does. She didn't dredge, she shared information of a current happening and made an apology. One that he will more than likely read.

Instead of being upset with her for posting, why aren't you taking more ire for his treatment of her?

My thoughts exactly!

We come here to share our thoughts and feelings. It is a Sisterhood.

I think a warning about Captain and his bad behavior is warranted. If it saves one woman being treated badly it will have done it's job.

Face it...this man acted like a spoiled child. He tried to make daD feel rotten about HIS bad behavior on these boards. HE acted like a troll...was called on it many times...was told to stop...finally was told to leave the boards. HIS actions brought him to this end. HE made a choice to act badly. It seems he is still making the same choices. Are you seeing a pattern here? It is HIM that acts badly.

Why, then, are you few acting like daB has done something wrong?

Thanks, Wendy, for the pertinent information! You rock!!

Gemdrite
09-08-2009, 12:00 PM
My thoughts exactly!

We come here to share our thoughts and feelings. It is a Sisterhood.

I think a warning about Captain and his bad behavior is warranted. If it saves one woman being treated badly it will have done it's job.

Face it...this man acted like a spoiled child. He tried to make daD feel rotten about HIS bad behavior on these boards. HE acted like a troll...was called on it many times...was told to stop...finally was told to leave the boards. HIS actions brought him to this end. HE made a choice to act badly. It seems he is still making the same choices. Are you seeing a pattern here? It is HIM that acts badly.

Why, then, are you few acting like daB has done something wrong?

Thanks, Wendy, for the pertinent information! You rock!!
Why? Because his "bad behavior" was being rude. Until DaB talked to him (which I am not saying is anything she did wrong, mind you), he did nothing to bother anyone. And then, he was rude. Not exactly noteworthy behavior, considering his previous issues here. We've kicked people off the boards before, run into them later, and not felt the need to post threads about it. Why this man, who still has a wench here at this forums who is still being hurt by this? DaB even admits that part of her purpose in posting was simply to be snarky. The tone in the first post did not indicate warning, it seemed to be snark and "he was mean to me," which, frankly, I would have expected running into him. Nowhere was fear of him and his behavior mentioned until the second post, when the first post had been called out as inappropriate.

Isabelle Warwicke
09-08-2009, 12:13 PM
DaB even admits that part of her purpose in posting was simply to be snarky.

So snark shouldn't be allowed here on the boards? Well, shit, darling, half of us might as well turn in our kiss cards then.

AnnaFaerie
09-08-2009, 12:45 PM
Why? Because his "bad behavior" was being rude. Until DaB talked to him (which I am not saying is anything she did wrong, mind you), he did nothing to bother anyone. And then, he was rude. Not exactly noteworthy behavior, considering his previous issues here. We've kicked people off the boards before, run into them later, and not felt the need to post threads about it. Why this man, who still has a wench here at this forums who is still being hurt by this? DaB even admits that part of her purpose in posting was simply to be snarky. The tone in the first post did not indicate warning, it seemed to be snark and "he was mean to me," which, frankly, I would have expected running into him. Nowhere was fear of him and his behavior mentioned until the second post, when the first post had been called out as inappropriate.

I'm usually on the opposite side of the fence from you. This is no different.

MaidenFaeSnow
09-08-2009, 01:07 PM
DaB was there, heard any tone that may or may not have been present in his voice or body language, the rest of us were not.

He may feel very validated by his own feelings concerning what happened quite some time ago, his feelings - I'm sure - are as real to him as any of ours are to us.

The post to me seemed to have the purpose of saying, "Yep, still an asshat!" and nothing more. Of course DaB can be snarky here, we all can, however there are always consequences. Unfortunately, it's Isa who is left to have to deal with the consequences of the post.

daBaroness
09-08-2009, 02:08 PM
By posting this, you are giving Cap'n stamina exactly what he wants....Attention. Thats why he caused all the drama on the boards, acted the way he did to you at Faire...cause he wants/needs attention. The way he gets attention is by causing drama. The best way to deal with him is not to deal with him...ignore him.

You're absolutely correct. My bad. Just needed to vent.

Lady Sarah
09-08-2009, 06:26 PM
When I read this early this morning (as in too early to form coherent and cogent thoughts... (is that the same thing? I can't think straight, still...)

Anyway, when I first read this, my thoughts were "Christ... how nasty can someone be?" Then I remembered getting a full minute and a half BITCHFEST from the same man in the middle of faire last year because I didn't say good morning to him. When he ended that bitching out with "I don't want your apology, I want you to stay away from me, you nasty bitch!" I was so shocked I seriously considered never returning to Scarborough Faire. In that minute and a half, he honestly ruined the rest of my season and had a strong impact on my desire to participate in this past season. It was then I remembered just how nasty Stamina can get when he feels he's been wronged - either justly, or in his own view, injustly.

daB, I'm sorry he was rude to you. No one should have to deal with that, from anyone.

Cyranno DeBoberac
09-08-2009, 06:31 PM
:mmph:

Bean
09-08-2009, 06:49 PM
:mmph:


Good job, Bob.

Isabelle Fawkes
09-08-2009, 07:11 PM
Sorry to burst your bubble daB but Captainís behavior toward you had nothing to do with being banned from the boards! It had everything to do with your attitude towards him here after he was banned. (No heís not lurking about gloating of his evil deeds! I let him know what was being said about him at that time.)
Prior to his being banned you treated him as a dear friend or family member. Whenever you met up at faire you demanded your welcoming hugs and greetings. You gave him kudos for making your trips to Scarby fun and eventful. You welcomed him to KCRF on many occasions and thanked him for making those visits enjoyable.
He is not the big bad bully that picks on defenseless women. He is not the strutting rooster domineering the hen house. He is a man that was hurt by your actions when you publicly bashed him here on the boards. Especially since he was banned and could no longer respond to your verbal abuse.
Funny, you now feel hurt by his actions toward you in a public forum. What is your reaction? Letís publicly bash him where he cannot defend himself. Letís look for sympathy from the same people that banished the big bad wolf in the first place.

Really I thought you were better than thatÖ

Selena
09-08-2009, 09:01 PM
Welp, it seems my initial 'girl crush' response got a jerk outta some.

C'mon folks... it was a joke. Hellooooo! It was supposed to be funny.

I'm sorry if my humor fails to come across.

Nevermind. :roll:

I'll just slink back into my fuckin' hole and stfu.

RaevynCait
09-08-2009, 09:14 PM
OK, I tried to stay out of the fray when the first hoopla ensued after Captain was banned, and frankly, it seems to me that a simple "I had an encounter with Captain Stamina at faire this weekend, and much to my surprise, found him to be holding a grudge and quite rude to me. I shall not go out of my way to speak to him again." would have sufficed.

I am perplexed, though, that you would think that his attitude toward you has anything to do with the banning, rather than the negative things you said about him after he was banned an unable to speak for himself. In all honesty, if someone I saw once or twice a year, whom I believed to be a at minimum, a friendly acquaintance, based on past interactions turned around and said quite publicly some of the things you said about him, I would likely have reacted in the same manner.

As for not wanting him to be in your personal space, I know of at least half a dozen women who like him just fine, however they have made known with a simple "no thank you" that his purring isn't something they enjoy. He respects their wishes without a bit of animosity.

I think your original post was a childish ploy for attention "ooh look, I tried to be nice to him, but he was rude to me, so clearly he thinks the wenches are bitches and I was the one who caught it."

You, and every other wench are entitled to an opinion, and there are entirely too many of us to even hope for a real consensus on this, and yes, this is OUR board, but I think that the only things you have accomplished with your post is to stir up an issue that had been put in the past, create turmoil on the board and I'm quite certain, hurt a wench whom you have called your friend, all in your effort to get back at her husband.

daBaroness
09-09-2009, 12:16 AM
I get your humor. But then again, what you would expect from a cold, heartless bitch like me?! ;-)
Welp, it seems my initial 'girl crush' response got a jerk outta some.

C'mon folks... it was a joke. Hellooooo! It was supposed to be funny.

I'm sorry if my humor fails to come across.

Nevermind. :roll:

I'll just slink back into my fuckin' hole and stfu.

Sandina
09-09-2009, 06:27 AM
Raevyn Cait,
I could not agree with you more! I have never met Capt. But I have always thought he was nice...I had PMed him this things we agreed on. He was always a gentleman to me. And his leather work looked beautiful I wish I had his website. To his wench, I am so sorry you have to hear all this nonsense.

Buxom Wench
09-09-2009, 07:54 AM
I've sat back and watched the muck be slung around and quite frankly, this is just juvenile. Some of the responses are from people that don't know all the details and some of the postings don't include all the details.

I won't dignify Wendy's post because frankly, I believe she has selective memory when it comes to what she said about Capt. when he was banned.(and wonders why he's still angry)

As for Sarah, "Then I remembered getting a full minute and a half BITCHFEST from the same man in the middle of faire last year because I didn't say good morning to him. When he ended that bitching out with "I don't want your apology, I want you to stay away from me, you nasty bitch!" I was so shocked I seriously considered never returning to Scarborough Faire. In that minute and a half, he honestly ruined the rest of my season and had a strong impact on my desire to participate in this past season. It was then I remembered just how nasty Stamina can get when he feels he's been wronged - either justly, or in his own view, injustly."

It was not just because "you didn't say good morning to him." It was because of your actions that morning and many of the previous.

A bit of background: people gather together in the prking lot in the morning to finish dressing, socialize, what have you. This particular morning, everyone had gone to gate except for Capt. & I. We were still lacing me in and belting up for the day. Sarah approached his car, threw her things into his open trunk (on top of a leather order for a customer), used the windows as a mirror to finish adjusting, putting on her belt, whatever. She then grabbed her basket from the trunk and walked to gate. Not once did she say hello, good morning, goodbye, see you inside, nothing. Not a word was spoken from her. (hard to believe I know) She would have you believe that she is completely innocent and bewildered of why Capt. acted the way he did.

This was not the first time she had acted in this manner. It was her usual to talk to Countess and/or Isa (Madame & Vice) but, not really talk to anyone else. She used the car as her dressing vanity and never had the courtesy to even say hello. I found it rude but, prefer to pick and choose my battles. It wasn't my car so, I held my tongue.

I have read this entire post and I just get more angry by the moment. This is why I have been more and more absent from the boards. The sense of "community" and "sisterhood" is not what I see here. I'm well aware that there are people here who wish I would just disappear and never be heard from again. I'm fine with that. That's your opinion. Although, I have no intention of going anywhere. It's been said here on these boards, that we have agreed to disagree about many things. This thread is one of them.

M&S Wench
09-09-2009, 01:26 PM
Please allow another voice in this frickacy.

I am not familiar with the string of events that led up to Cap'n Stamina's being banished from the boards, so please forgive my innocent reply to all, this board offers many options. It is an open enviroment. But after that is said, if you do not like what someone is saying, then just ignore it or start another thread. Why this was not done then is questionable. Seems like many a Wench had too much testostorone in her. That is not a bad thing unless it is used to hurt someone. So on to your being hurt by Cap'n's actions towards you, daBaroness, what did you want him to do? Are you truely hurt because your actions were not welcomed? And, did he come up to you? No, so all of this fuss about her being attacked? No, her ego maybe? I have been one of the recipients of Cap'n's kindness. His going out of his way to make me feel welcomed and a part of the Wenches. When even my sister Wenches went out of thier way to make me feel like I didn't belong, Cap'n was there for me. This is not to defend him, even though he cannot defend himself here (very convient wouldn;t you say), nor to stand up for his wife, Isa. She is VERY capable of that. But to try and offer another view from the "oh' he attacked me" side. And it is a shame that there is a line being drawn. I honestly believe that Cap'n was the better of the two because he did not go up to you daBaroness and speak his mind. And he did ask you a question, and here you are stabbing him again!!! You became the person he thought you would be. I used to truely enjoy reading your post and replies. Your bitchiness was fun and playfull. But the only reason you posted your encounter was to hurt him and get attention. The same things that others thought he wanted. There are many persons on this board who offer nothing but cynical waste. Instead of being a family, we have become hurtful and hateful. I am not going to say "can't we all just get along" but with so many different values and taste, can;t we just respect the difference? That is what makes this board so unique and exciting. Being a bitch is fun, but hurtful snarkiness should have to go. Buxom had it right.

thank you, kat

LdyJhawk
09-09-2009, 07:00 PM
Never agreed with the man on the boards and yeah, I felt he was occasionally deliberately inflammatory.

Never had a bad interaction with him at Scarby, never had a bad interaction with him anywhere and even gave him a hug the few times I've gone down.

Do I think this post was necessary? No. Honestly, I don't. However I do fully believe that people will do what people will do and the option is to either walk by or state your feelings in return.

I didn't see what happened with Capt, I didn't have an issue with him or his wife when they came by the booth I work at. Not everyone will enjoy the company of others, unfortunately it seems that lately it's becoming everyone ELSE'S problem when that happens


editing to add: While I don't think it was necessary, I don't think it's wrong to have been posted either.

Conall Crow
09-10-2009, 02:37 AM
You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Buxom Wench again.


Dang it Bux, You always were alot better then me at getting a point across in posts.

As something that happened in private, I feel that this should have all stayed in private. If DaB wanted to tell others about it in private then fine. But what may have meant to be snarky at first appears to turned into alot more. But if being snarky is welcomed here then I guess I should post about a problem my Wench, Kris, and I with another Wench while we were visiting NYRF last year. After spending a day in the rain at PARF on saturday, we drove that night to NY so we could visit the NYRF on sunday. While in a shoppe at faire, my wench and I were discussing somethings privately. An eavesdropping NY wench decided that she needed to LOUDLY chastise us about what we were talking about. Our topic of discussion had nothing to do with faire or anyone involved with faire. After dealing with a hurricane at PARF and then the drive to NYRF, we were surprised to have to say the worst part of the weekend was dealing with this particular wench.

Phoenix McHeit
09-10-2009, 08:45 AM
Y'know, I very rarely agreed with Cap'n. In fact, I had him on 'ignore' for awhile, due to the condescension, arrogance and belittling.

But, he's gone. Personally I feel it was the right thing to do, after so many warnings and complaints. But whether I agree or not, it's not my decision to make. It happened. It's over.

Until this original post. Wendy, I usually enjoy your posts and the insight they bring. However, this one was simply a case of rather public masturbation. Cap'n was rude to you? Poor baby. He was rude on these forums. Cap'n was disdainful to you? Boo hoo, he was disdainful on these forums. Honestly, what did you expect? That he'd welcome you with open arms and act like nothing happened? The man holds grudges. We all know that. I'm not sure why you expected anything other than the reaction you got.

And I certainly don't understand why you felt the need to post such a long diatribe about it. I read it and kept waiting for the "Oh snap!" moment. It never came. I was left scratching my head, saying 'that's it? That's ALL? Well fer cryin out loud, what was the point of this?'

You didn't feel threatened. You posted this just to get the kind of rise you did get. Your first sentence sums it up. You wanted attention. Well, you got it.

I love the fact that Taylor would defend you, if you needed it. But in that instance? You didn't need it. Not even close. And I find it sad that you would imply that you did.

Bad form, dear. Bad form.

Kae
09-10-2009, 08:57 AM
Ok - I swore I would not post. But Here I go anyway..

Why are we still talking about this? Dnb admitted she should not have done it. Stated she did it to vent and yet everyone keeps posting and backing their viewpoint.

Maybe we should start a thread on what we don't want to see?

So, going back to ignoring this thread and hoping something intriguing catches my eye.
Kae

Phoenix McHeit
09-10-2009, 09:09 AM
Ok - I swore I would not post. But Here I go anyway.. I did the same thing... and posted anyway.


Why are we still talking about this?

Because we're women. See above. You did it, too. ::kooky::

Alchemist23
09-10-2009, 10:18 AM
I know there have been a lot of arguments on both sides, and I'm not really interested in getting in on all that. However, one of the arguments against daB posting was that it "happened in private and it should stay in private".

How many posts on this site then, are invalid? Is it ok if we talk about other people we don't know? I know I've vented about my boss with the poo breath, and my bad customer service, and even my own mother. Does the bitching boundary lie with members or former members of the boards? My mom and my boss can't "defend" themselves any more than Capt. can.

I don't know why it struck me that way, I was just wondering if we took out all snarkiness and bitching and venting from the boards, how much would we have left? Should it be common rule not to call out each other publicly?

Just something this thread got me thinking about.

Phoenix McHeit
09-10-2009, 10:32 AM
Good question. I think the main difference here is, most rantings are about anonymous people in the rant-er's life. To use your example - your boss. None here (or very, very few) know him. To rant about him is, IMO, different... simply because of the people involved. Your boss can't defend himself, no - but really, how is he even going to know about the rant in the first place?

A rant about someone we (as a group) don't know can be looked at as cathartic. When its about someone that is known... it becomes mud-slinging.

Just my take on the whole thing. YMMV. :wink:

Erinesse
09-10-2009, 02:24 PM
Hmmmmm ... A long hot Summer, most of it dealing with true abuse by ignorant people toward animals who cannot help themselves. Now, here I am, home away from all that & here in a forum that should have been a refuge from a World way too full of real horror & hostily & utter nonesense. Yes, I said a refuge, I find faire to be a refuge from all the hard things in life & this forum is an extension of faire for me (& many others, I believe). Do I like everyone I encounter there/here? Nope. Do I find a need to hate & belittle those that I don't care for? Nope, not that either, because it would only make what is my most pleasant time heavy with negativity. Rather than hate & snark, I most often just choose to stay a space or so away from those folks. I could advise that approach to others also, but how they choose to spend their energies are not my choice to make ... & rarely would they listen anyway.
 
So, I came here today to spend a bit of time in a faire motivated world, looking for that pleasurable fix that only faire folk can really share. And what to my wondering eyes should appear? A post titled "My apologies to Cap'n Stamina". Well, the Captain being one of my favourite people, it goes without saying, my curiousity was aroused. I knew the Captain was banned from here some time back, a decision that I personally did not agree with, but it isn't my board & I don't get to make the decisions here, so I figured others had the right to make their own mistakes without my input at that time. But today, I obviously have more to say, & I think I may be accused of being a bit "snarky" when I'm through, if so, so be it, I'm going to choose to see it as "venting" (it's been expressed that this is allowed, correct?).

DaB, you've accused the good Captain of being a "bully", yet who is really the bully? You've attacked someone who can make no defense of himself! And you got others involved in the nastiness also! And, again, in a forum where the man can make no self defense! Isn't that the truer definition of a bully??? And your son, your "teenage son", how admirable is it truly that he used threats of violence, in what some might consider truly vulgar langauge, against a man who is his elder, who he knows nothing about & who most probably deserves respect from that boy? You were not, from your own report of the incident, threatened in any way, & yet you find it admirable & repeatable that your son behaved this way. I would have taken my teenage son's head off for speaking so of an elder in his community! You were right in your comment that this was something you could handle yourself, I would have done so & still demanded respect from my children. Just a different view of parenting I guess.

How were you harmed DaB? I, personally, have seen you behave in a manner that conveyed friendship with the Captain at Scarby. You have posted of the pleasure that he & Isa brought to your world, both when you visited their home faire & when they visited yours. You did stab him in the back. I don't hear his statement of that fact, in the question that he asked you, the rudeness or the threat that you now choose to try to make people believe here.

The Captain is one of the nicest, most genuine individuals that I know. I know that I could call him at 3 a.m. & he would crawl from his slumber to rescue me if I were stranded along the side of a dark scary roadway. I know that if anyone steps across my personal boundaries at faire, I can find the Captain & he will protect me (or my teenage daughter) from harm. I know that I could trust Captain Stamina with anything in my world, including the most precious thing I hold, my daughter, & I KNOW that the Captain would keep safe my most precious possessions. I know this because Captain Stamina is my friend. I also know that he is honest enough, if he isn't your friend, to tell you so ... unfortunate for you DaB, you have apparently pushed this good man far enough to find yourself on the wrong side of the fence from him. What a shame, I guess that's what being a bully gets you.

Just my opinion, vented here along with yours.

Erin
 

Ysobelle
09-10-2009, 03:16 PM
Please remember that this is our space, and that if someone feels they want to vent about something, they're free to do so.

Just as anyone else is free to either state their opinion, or ignore the whole thread.

Also, Snipe says that if anyone wants to question why he was banned, they're welcome to contact her directly, as it was done entirely at her discretion.

LdyJhawk
09-10-2009, 05:04 PM
And your son, your "teenage son", how admirable is it truly that he used threats of violence, in what some might consider truly vulgar langauge, against a man who is his elder, who he knows nothing about & who most probably deserves respect from that boy? You were not, from your own report of the incident, threatened in any way, & yet you find it admirable & repeatable that your son behaved this way. I would have taken my teenage son's head off for speaking so of an elder in his community! You were right in your comment that this was something you could handle yourself, I would have done so & still demanded respect from my children. Just a different view of parenting I guess.


Just my opinion, vented here along with yours.

Erin
[/FONT][SIZE=2] 



Honey, I'm going to go out here and say while I don't necessarily agree that this should have been posted here you are about to take it a step beyond by essentially calling someone a bad parent because they don't like someone you do.

You don't appear to have read much here but there is a long LONG backstory about daB and her son and the fact that he was willing to stand up FOR his mother rather than AGAINST her actually is truly admirable, regardless of his motivation

Erinesse
09-10-2009, 09:30 PM
I beg your pardon Ma'am, I called no one a "bad parent", I simply stated that we differed in parenting style. And that wasn't in regard to who anyone liked, it was simply in regard to teaching our young to respect their elders, at least until they were sure there was a reason not to. There are many people that I don't like, I still expect my children to show them the respect due an adult. I have 22 & 19 year old sons who can probably out curse any sailor on any given day, they can probably do that because they probably (definitely) learned it from me ... I still wouldn't choose to repeat that use of language on a public forum.

How old are your children LdyJhawk? My oldest is 21, he spent 3 years in jail (juvenile) for family violence. While reading your post makes me believe that DaB & I might could exchange horror stories of our teenagers (my oldest didn't do so well with learning respect, obviously, he chose violence at every opportunity), I still don't feel that it gives me the right to brag of my son's threats to an another human being who was not threatening me. I also still feel that the true definition of a bully is to pick on someone who cannot defend themselves & I feel that is what happened here.

I do not feel that I was disresectful to DaBaroness, I feel that I just pointed out her less than "ladylike" (her statement that she behaved as one) behaviour in this public place. If she feels that I was rude, then I feel that is just a bit hypocritical after her tyrade that began this. But if an apology is owed, then DaB, I apologize for pointing out what seem to be the facts (A. you were not threatened & B. your behaviour was that of a bully, in my opinion) that you may have missed in your moment of snarkyness. I understand that we all go off once in a while, sometimes making a mountain out of a molehill, where better to do it than in a forum of your friends ... as long as that vent/rant doesn't harm others in your community (would be my thought).

Again, just my opinion.

Erin

[quote=LdyJhawk;380409].....you are about to take it a step beyond by essentially calling someone a bad parent because they don't like someone you do.

....

Selena
09-10-2009, 10:15 PM
It's completely amazing to me how this thread has taken such a shit-turn to the crapper below.

Amazing, too, how I get such negative "reps" and comments when I have contributed a mere 10% (now prolly 12%) to the entire thread. whatever. bone in my ass for sticking up for a rant.

Gee. Makes me feel so important. :pokepoke::whip:


C'mon, guys. FFS, enough already.

Those who YOU feel the heat, have felt it.
And those who YOU feel the heat, have felt it. :roll:


Phee -- you're right. mudslinging. guilty as charged, admit as charged. no one is perfect, eh.

letz face'it. I'm tiii'red.

LdyJhawk
09-10-2009, 10:19 PM
Really erinesse, you're going to bring the "I have kids you don't" argument into it?

*taps out* I very rarely have what I consider "safe ground" that I will give anyone but strangely, I'll tap out.

Isabelle Warwicke
09-10-2009, 10:20 PM
Oh for the fuck of shit, can we lay this to rest already? DaB was offended, she vented here. We have made our feelings known and should lay this to rest before we create some real unbridgeable rifts.

DaB is usually the voice of reason and shares solid, well-won knowledge on many topics, advice and information that many of us find useful and great, let's please not forget that.

Ysobelle
09-10-2009, 10:27 PM
And we've now officially gone completely off the rails.

Wendy posted that she was treated nastily by someone whom many of us here had also been treated badly. I'm aware that many of you know him personally, and have no problem with him. But many others here have an entirely different history with him. He was banned from the boards because of his combative and incendiary baiting and trolling. The banning did not come out of nowhere, and was entirely the decision of the webmistress-- at whom he very unwisely also lashed out, and insulted. Both publicly and privately. He apparently still holds a grudge against at least one of us-- and, I suspect, many more of us. Thus Wendy's post.

If anyone has a problem-- still-- with Snipe's decision, she invites you to take it up with her personally.