View Full Version : You don't know Jack Schitt

01-22-2010, 05:18 PM
this was relayed to me by a friends' email. Thought I'd share.
not responsible if you spray liquid out of your nose/mouth onto table /keyboard/screen. You might've already seen this somewhere?

Lately I've noticed that people are always saying to me, "You don't know Jack Schitt." Well, I finally became tired of hearing this, so I decided to do some research...

Jack Schitt is the only son of O. Schitt and his wife Aw Schitt. O. Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married Aw, who later ran the Knee Deep Inn.

The Schitts lived beside a creek that wound through their property, named Schitt Creek. Not much is known about O. Schitt's parents, except that they lived farther up Schitt Creek, beside the fertilizer plant. To get to the old home place, you have to go by boat using a pole for propulsion, because there is no paddle.

O's dad, Dam Schitt, was married to a fine woman named Luck, who was nicknamed Lucky. Therefore, O. Schitt became the first Schitt outta Luck.

Jack Schitt married his high school sweetheart Noe. They had six children. Sadly, their first child, Holy, passed on short after birth. Next came two sons, Deep and Dip. Later came their daughters, Giva and Fulla.

When Deep Schitt grew up, he married and had a son, Dumb, (A high school drop-out). Deep's brother, Dip Schitt and Dip's wife, Lotta, gave birth to a son whom they named Chicken.

Fulla Schitt married one of the Happens' boys, and chose to hyphenate her last name, thus the Schitt-Happens side of the family.

Giva Schitt never married, but has three sons, Dawg, Byrd, and Bull Schitt. Bull Schitt married a spicy number named Piza. Bull and Piza Schitt are now awaiting the birth of their first child, Little Schitt.

Well that is the Schitt family tree. Now when someone tells you, "You don't know Jack Schitt," you can say, "not only do I know Jack Schitt, I know the whole damn family!!"