PDA

View Full Version : I had to share this train wreck.



Ysobelle
03-13-2010, 01:49 AM
I got this in my Quiver matches on OKCupid today. I swear to you, I couldn't make this up if I tried. Oh, G-d, I don't know whether to laugh or vomit.



(Don't know if the link will work, but: http://www.okcupid.com/profile/italianchef44?q=1 )

Hey, italianchef44 is one of your Quiver matches!

Send him a message and heíll be added to your accepted matches.
If you are not interested, click here.
ó Staff Robot

I am Married, Not Divorced, and Married.


My Self-Summary
OK....ARE YOU WOMEN THAT DESPRATE THAT YOU HAVE TO GO AFTER ANOTHER WOMANS HUSBAND...LIKE JOAN.....DID YOU THINK I DIDN'T HAVE HIS ACCOUNT INFO AND AM BETTER AT COMPUTER THEN HIM!WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM WOMAN...BECAUSE YOU AREN'T A LADY THAT IS FOR SURE...JOHN IS MARRIED TO ME....WE HAVE BEEN FOR 18 YEARS! hE IS USING THIS SIGHT TO CHEAT ON ME ALONG WITH 5 OTHER SIGHTS...THE ONLY 2 TRUTHS ARE OUUR DAUGHTER IS 1 NOT 16 AND HE WORKS...THE REST IS A LIE....BUT I AM ALMOST SURE HE WILL BE SINGLE IN A FEW MONTHS....SO TRY BACK THEN IF YOU WANT A CHEATING LYING PIG WHO USES WOMEN FOR SEX AND MONEY!!!!!
My name is John. I'm new to the online dating scene. I am a proud father of a 16 yr. old daughter. I have no idea what to write here LOL! I am a chef hence the name I picked to use as a screen name and the 44 is my age. I've been at my current job for close to 16 yrs. so I do have a stable job. I always need my coffee, I don't have a certain preference as long as it has caffiene LOL. I like to do most everything like hanging out in starbucks, going out for dinners, going to the movies, beaches, walks, reading. There are other things, but once we meet we can go into further detail.

What Iím doing with my life
IN A WHILE MY WIFE IS GOING TO DIVORCE ME!!!!SINCE WE STILL LIVE TOGETHER AND ARE MARRIED

Iím really good at
LYING AND CHEATING AND USING WOMEN

The first things people usually notice about me
NOTHING

My favorite books, movies, music, and food
My favorite food would be mostly Italian, but I also like a wide variety of food. My music always varies, but I don't like rap or classical. Movies... as long as it's good.

The six things I could never do without
CHEATING, INTERNET CHEATIG, SIGHTS THAT DON'T CHECK BACKGROUND

I spend a lot of time thinking about
CHEATING

On a typical Friday night I am
always changes, sometimes relaxing at home, going to watch new bands play, watching a sporting event, or working.

The most private thing Iím willing to admit here
I AM MARIED

You should message me if
You should message me if you are looking for a guy that will treat you the way you should be treating which is respect and dignity. You will get someone who is honest and will work hard at a relationship to make it work.

Buxom Wench
03-13-2010, 05:28 AM
*shakes head in wonderment*

You just can't fix stupid.

Madame Deanna
03-13-2010, 09:30 AM
I don't know what to say about that, but I am laughing especially at the "You can't fix stupid" remark!::clappin:

Phoenix McHeit
03-13-2010, 09:42 AM
D'OH!

And people wonder why internet match sites get a bad rap.

Isabelle Warwicke
03-13-2010, 10:07 AM
You are so busted, pal.

I heard somewhere that 30-45% of men on dating sites are married. Sick.

Ravin' Raven
03-13-2010, 10:26 AM
You are so busted, pal.

I heard somewhere that 30-45% of men on dating sites are married. Sick.

I think I read the same percentages about the women on the sites as well....

but Yso...look at it this way...this freed you from meeting this idiot...

GoodyTombShoes
03-13-2010, 03:54 PM
wow, his wife has his number. I wish her luck in booting this idiot out. I'm confused as to why he hasn't edited his profile back. Laziness?

Cyranno DeBoberac
03-13-2010, 04:50 PM
Maybe the guy would rather be with a woman who has at least half a clue about spelling and grammar and knows how to disengage a capslock key?

Ysobelle
03-13-2010, 09:26 PM
I'm confused as to why he hasn't edited his profile back. Laziness?



I'm imagining it's tough to type with the computer lodged firmly up one's ass!

Mistress Morigianna
03-14-2010, 03:53 AM
gee wonder if he is related to my ex-husband....

he would even tell people that his "sister" would claim to be his wife because she thought it was funny and to ignore her.....

daBaroness
03-14-2010, 01:43 PM
I'm more offended by the bad grammar, the caps on her editing, and the atrocious spelling. LOL

Stolenhalo6
03-14-2010, 02:23 PM
I'm more offended by the bad grammar, the caps on her editing, and the atrocious spelling. LOL

I hear ya. If you're going to get revenge, do it with a little class.

Annabella St. Clair
03-14-2010, 09:50 PM
Heck, when I'm seriously Peeved, my spelling goes out the window. Very effective us of the caplock key too. Does get one's attention. Now, she needs to print it to show in court. Her divorce lawyer is already counting her money.

Mistress Morigianna
03-15-2010, 01:33 AM
printing only works if it is not a community property state. However it may help with child custody.
it was explained to me that in Ca, he could sleep with the whole cheerleader group and I could have slept with the whole football team (or the other way around) and it wouldn't matter because it is split 50/50.

Isabelle Warwicke
03-15-2010, 11:22 AM
I'm more offended by the bad grammar, the caps on her editing, and the atrocious spelling. LOL

She was probably too mad and typing too fast. I've had to put things on hold, come back later and re-edit because typing in a fury trumps grammar everytime.

KissMeKate
03-16-2010, 09:55 PM
One of my favorite movie scenes is from "Calendar Girls". She fines that her husband has not been "going on business trips", but instead is cheating on her. She goes to the restaurant where the husband and mistress are having dinner, then sits down at the table when the guy goes to the men's room. The other woman says "I'm sorry, I'm with someone" and she replies "Yes, I know, my husband". The rest of the scene is fabulous and you really see how she comes into her own self at that moment.

Somehow, I don't think the wife in this case is going to find that moment...

The 6th Rogue
03-17-2010, 04:17 PM
It's admittedly moronic but what this guy might also be doing is venting. From some of the clues written into the text (despite the crap grammar and caps which I took as yelling and not so much stupidity although it could have been both) is the possible scenario of this guy getting word to him that his wife is lawyering up to divorce him on (potentially false) grounds of infidelity.

This could be just another dumb guy stunt of blowing off steam. Like the old adage "if I'm going to get in trouble no matter what, I may as well earn it."

Then again he may just be a phuqtard jackhole that means exactly what he's badly typed and, if so, I hope he has no further offspring to continue to diminish the average IQ score.