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View Full Version : Dear Madame Mary (littlekitty), [an open letter, since I get no response from emails]



Mistress_Autumn
06-08-2010, 12:08 AM
I may be out of line on this (and, please, correct me if I am), but... isn't it the Madame's -job- to organize events that everyone can attend? To make sure that all Wenches are made aware of where she will be at a faire (if she's attending) so that she can be the central hub of activities? Or at least to be the touchstone of all Wenches in the area?

In this time of economic stress, I have noticed that you, Mary, have not made any "plans" except for at paid events. You haven't offered to organize any S-n-B's. You have not made an effort to organize any non-ren get-togethers. You have not been available to anyone other than (Dare I say it? ... Yep. I dare.) yourself.

When asked for access to phone numbers so that a phone tree of sorts could be made... You not only refused, you didn't even give a REPLY! Instead, I had to hear from another Wench that you -resented- the "interference" that was represented by my offer.

I count -two- events that you invited other Wenches to join you at. A convention that cost over $35 just to attend, and June Faire. (And that doesn't even factor in the gas money and/or hotel room.)

How many times has another Wench said "Hey, guys! Think we could do something that doesn't cost an arm and a leg?" and I've said "Sweet! I've got the space, time, and energy! Let's do it!"

I've heard from a few Wenches that were put off by your insistence that the Wenches encampment be openly BDSM and any kids or non-BDSM Wenches in the area could "just deal with it". Sweetheart... Those of us in the lifestyle (and there may be quite a few) quite heartily abhor the exposure of children to mature themes such as BDSM. What we do in our bedrooms is NEVER seen by the children in our midst. We certainly do not force our lifestyles on others.

Your attitude did, in fact, cause several Wenches to say "I don't think so!" to June Faire... and more than a few of us have said "Absolutely NOT!" to camping near you at WRFF.

There are, in fact, two Wenches that plan on joining my family for another "campout" in my back yard the first week of July (and the invitation is being extended to all Wenches. *waves* Hi, there! I'm not usually so critical. Ask Kat. She'll tell ya'.), which is yet another event that I have had to plan without your "help".

Did I mention the Portland Zoo outing? The earlier "campout" in my back yard? The offers of having a S-n-B in my home?

How many of these types of events have you even offered?

Instead, you throw out excuse after excuse as to why you shouldn't have to, or why you don't have the time.

If you don't have the time or the means, then please... Step down and let someone else take the reins of Madame.

Sincerely,

Autumn

rosefaeries
06-08-2010, 01:09 AM
Nicely put.

I haven't been able to attend any events, but after reading this, I am concerned about Mary's attitude at the encampments. That is not acceptable. Somethings are meant to be private and stay private.

Due to school, I haven't been able to participate in many activities (ok none), but since most likely my son would be with me, I would be very reluctant to do so if that sort of element is involved.

Mistress_Autumn
06-08-2010, 01:15 AM
Nicely put.

I haven't been able to attend any events, but after reading this, I am concerned about Mary's attitude at the encampments. That is not acceptable. Somethings are meant to be private and stay private.

Due to school, I haven't been able to participate in many activities (ok none), but since most likely my son would be with me, I would be very reluctant to do so if that sort of element is involved.
Thanks, Kim.

Kat and I have always had our children with us at our "encampment" (Can you call it an encampment if there's only two Wenches?), and we occasionally have -other peoples'- children with us as well. So our camps are very kid-friendly. You're always welcome to drag the kiddo down for a visit, or camp with us at faires.

Or, you know, you can join in on our halo-making (go ahead. Ask. You know you wanna'.), "camping", grilling, laughing extravaganza on July 4th-7th.

^_^

~Autumn

Phoenix McHeit
06-08-2010, 05:59 PM
I've heard from a few Wenches that were put off by your insistence that the Wenches encampment be openly BDSM and any kids or non-BDSM Wenches in the area could "just deal with it". Sweetheart... Those of us in the lifestyle (and there may be quite a few) quite heartily abhor the exposure of children to mature themes such as BDSM. What we do in our bedrooms is NEVER seen by the children in our midst. We certainly do not force our lifestyles on others.

Your attitude did, in fact, cause several Wenches to say "I don't think so!" to June Faire... and more than a few of us have said "Absolutely NOT!" to camping near you at WRFF.



Umm, 'scuse me for butting in here, but I believe the above portion needs to be addressed with Lars and Snipe - like immediately, if it hasn't already.

I mean, do what ya wanna do, in the privacy of your own place, more power to ya. But in no way does the IWG need to be seen as possibly sanctioning that kind of encampment.

Isabelle Warwicke
06-09-2010, 12:48 AM
Umm, 'scuse me for butting in here, but I believe the above portion needs to be addressed with Lars and Snipe - like immediately, if it hasn't already.


While I do not object to this open letter or it's true intent. I do believe that the "encampment" issue could have been run up the flagpole quietly. It feels like mudslinging. Now that this thread is a few days old and Madame Mary has yet to reply, I'm thinking that making contact with one of the ranking Members night be a good idea if this is to be truly resolved.

Buxom Wench
06-09-2010, 12:55 AM
While I do not object to this open letter or it's true intent. I do believe that the "encampment" issue could have been run up the flagpole quietly. It feels like mudslinging. Now that this thread is a few days old and Madame Mary has yet to reply, I'm thinking that making contact with one of the ranking Members night be a good idea if this is to be truly resolved.
Sorry but, it's only 24 hours old.

Just sayin'.

rosefaeries
06-09-2010, 03:11 AM
Thanks, Kim.

Kat and I have always had our children with us at our "encampment" (Can you call it an encampment if there's only two Wenches?), and we occasionally have -other peoples'- children with us as well. So our camps are very kid-friendly. You're always welcome to drag the kiddo down for a visit, or camp with us at faires.

Or, you know, you can join in on our halo-making (go ahead. Ask. You know you wanna'.), "camping", grilling, laughing extravaganza on July 4th-7th.

^_^

~Autumn

OK, I'll bite. Halo making?

Mistress_Autumn
06-09-2010, 05:51 AM
OK, I'll bite. Halo making?
A pain-meds-induced conversation about being ebil and complaining about our tarnished halos. Turns out I took the one I'm currently using off of the guy in the next bed while I was in the hospital. ^_^

So we're making new sparkly halos at my place while "camping" at my place next month. Along with grilling and generally having a good time.

The 6th Rogue
06-09-2010, 12:35 PM
My two cents: when I've had to deal with exclusionary tactics I just get some people who are interested and organize an open event nearby that all are welcomed to. You'd be amazed how doing this a few times leaves all the exclusionists off in their own, tiny group wondering what happened.

rosefaeries
06-09-2010, 01:15 PM
The "camping" sounds like fun. I will be back in school then. Sigh. The fourth is on a sunday this year. Which means I will be at school for most of that activity. Durn school interfering with all sorts of fun activities.

Hopefully there will be other activities that school won't interfere with. I definitely would love to go to some activities in the Portland area. (near the beginning of the term works better for me, because I am not swamped by schoolwork yet.)

Maybe everyone could come down here to go camping. There are some gorgeous areas to go camping in. Indigo Springs is a free campground, and I think it didn't get touched by last summer's fire.(I will have to check and make sure.) And since it is so wooded, it is cooler to be in during the hot part of the summer.I know of quite a few people who go there to cool off. And the water is extremely cold. The source of that creek is there. It comes up out of the ground.

mehlen
06-10-2010, 08:37 PM
So when are the elections and Autumn...are you running for Madame? Remember the saying...if you want to say it...you gotta be willing and ready to do it!! *grin* *giggles*

Good luck.:snicker:

littlekitty381
06-11-2010, 01:12 AM
First, this is just a big mud slinging thread at me.

Second, our official local isn't even a year old and already a few of the chosen trouble makers have elected to dump all the

blame on me.

I asked the members of local 26 to email or pm me, a photograph and profile for our website. So far -- NONE have replied.

I asked for members to join me at a table we got at NorWesCon. Again, no wenches showed up. BTW, our table was shared with

the The Washington Midsummer Renaissance Faire, with Lady Katlynn, handing out flyers and talking to people.

My 'ship' camped at June Faire. I made an open invite for other wenches to seek each other out and hang out together.

Ren Faire plans are still in the works. So far, the weekend I am free, others are not....and the weekend 'others' can show

up, I will not be able to make it.....so plans for Ren Faire are still in the works.

As for non-paid events, I also have surgested a few events like the Breast Cancer Awareness walk. Again, not alot of feedback

from the mass...thou some are sure quick to gripe , mudsling and complain.

Lets run down a few 'events' of this year that have slowed down progress: New forums which just happened a few weeks

ago.....now, I have to refind everything and relearn where everything is at. Oh, also the new forums keeps logging me out all

the time, expesially when I am repling to messages!

My main computer is still down.
PLUS my life isn't spent 24/7 at the computer, dealing with our wenches....I DO have a job. home and other business to

attend.

Plus, lets also tack-on the my second in command has also had a very busy past few months. (if she wants to post details of

her life, she will.)

Adult Encampment:
''Hello if I have mentioned a adult encampment it was a thought.. Not that we really had to do it.. I don't remember

suggesting it..''

This means now I have to stop everything I am doing and track down whatever message ya'all have read and try to figure out

what was said......mis-said and mis-read.

At Ren faire, they have different area offamily camping, quite camping and adult camping. When 'we wenches' are hanging out

at the Ale House...it is over the age of 21. No kiddies.

Now, let me state this very clearly: Local 26 is not going to have a requirement of Adults Only Events. We will have a range

of events....some open family, some more aimed at Adults...after all, you don't bring your 5 year old kid to a Bar.
Events will be LABELED for clearifaction so mistakes can be advoided.

Next, freedom of choice. Local 26 will not make it a requirement of it's members to attend an event that they are not

confortible with.
If you don't want to goto 'In the Woods 2010' (a BDSM event), then DON'T !

Open events, SnB and camping in your back yard: If you want to host an event, go for it. Got a free weekend and want to do a

potluck BBQ at your home in tacoma?? Post it up and good luck.

....however, based on the posts I just read, I am feeling ALOT of hostilities.
"I send you an email and you NEVER replied."...well, I checked my emails and I have replied. Some of the topics that a few

are bitching about has already been adressed MONTHS ago.....yet here it is brought up---again.

I am getting that idea that your just one of these members that aren't going to be happy with ANYTHING until your running the

show.

I'll tell ya what....I get ahold of ShpepperKat (2ic) and we'll schedule a personal meeting so we can deal these issues.

littlekitty381
06-11-2010, 01:27 AM
""I've heard from a few Wenches that were put off by your insistence that the Wenches encampment be openly BDSM and any kids or non-BDSM Wenches in the area could "just deal with it". Sweetheart... Those of us in the lifestyle (and there may be quite a few) quite heartily abhor the exposure of children to mature themes such as BDSM. What we do in our bedrooms is NEVER seen by the children in our midst. We certainly do not force our lifestyles on others.

Your attitude did, in fact, cause several Wenches to say "I don't think so!" to June Faire... and more than a few of us have said "Absolutely NOT!" to camping near you at WRFF.""

Lets start out by naming names. None of this super secret 'I heard from a few X Y & Z"
High school drama political backstabs tactics.
If someone has something negitive to say, come forth and say it.

I will stated for the record that i NEVER said ""Wenches encampment be openly BDSM and any kids or non-BDSM Wenches in the area could "just deal with it".""

I NEVER said that.ANY of thoses 'few wenches' that you claimed to hear this from, are just lying to you.
Period.

''Those of us in the lifestyle (and there may be quite a few) quite heartily abhor the exposure of children to mature themes such as BDSM.''
---AGREED--- Adult topics, lifestyles and 'things' are for Consenting Adults, not kids.

What we do in our bedrooms is NEVER seen by the children in our midst.
--Agreed--

We certainly do not force our lifestyles on others.
--Agreed--

I am shocked and sicken to see a few people stoop this low.

mehlen
06-11-2010, 08:06 PM
"Lets start out by naming names. None of this super secret 'I heard from a few X Y & Z"
High school drama political backstabs tactics.
If someone has something negitive to say, come forth and say it."

How about "Let's get together and we can discuss individuals privately instead of naming names her that may start a flame war."

Next - For "nobody responding" it seems that you have at least one wench that wants to take on some projects for you. How about instead of returning the hostility...try something like:
"Hey! It sounds like you'd like to handle the family encampment for our group. By having two encampments, we have opportunities for those who don't want to deal with children...and those who love having children around. Sounds like a win/win...thanks for volunteering to take on the family encampment at the faires. That's a great offer."

"Hey! Sounds like you'd like to organize a Stitch-N-B...Can you post the details to our forum and let us know when we're supposed to be there? Thanks for all the help with organizing activities. I'm really busy too and your help is very appreciated."

Just my two cents if you're wanting volunteers to help do stuff.

Blessings.

SHpepperKat
06-14-2010, 05:04 AM
Ok I have a few things to say here. First, this is not mudslinging. It is asking legitimate questions and trying to get some answers. Second, Mary, when did you get a job? Where are you working and what are you doing?

Now, the biggest thing that I see here is that when a wench in the local ask a question about something, it most often is not answered by the Madame. It is frustrating when people try to get information and instead of giving that info, someone decides to hold on to the info and not share it.

This is supposed to be a fun thing. It is not supposed to be someone in charge all the time and if it's not done that person's way then it's not done.

Points of fact: When Autumn suggested getting a phone, email, text tree set up, I thought it was an awesome idea. I honestly don't have a lot of time to try and organize things and Autumn was willing to do the dirty work and get it all set up. When it was brought up to Mary, I got reamed for saying I thought that it was a good idea. I was basically told that I had no right to say that I thought something was a good idea without clearing it with Mary first. I was also told that everything should go through her first in email or pm and then go out to the general public. I don't happen to believe that is true. I think we are a group of women who are capable of making up our own minds and we do not need to clear anything with the Madame before posting an idea that someone has.

The only two events that the Madame has been at have been a paid convention over the EASTER weekend and an SCA event (June Faire). There have been suggestions of other events and things to do but since they didn't come from the Madame, she has declined to respond to them. Or if she did respond it was to let it be known that the timing didn't fit in with her SCA events or other things that she had planned and asking to change the date to accommodate her.

Renn Faire weekend has been planned since last year. When we started going, I was the only one who worked at a job outside the home. So things were worked around my schedule since everyone else could do that. Now it has become tradition to attend a certain weekend and we don't want to change that. Even when the formation of the new local was announced, Mary was not there. I was the one who set the plans for the time and place of meeting and made the announcement.

Mary, you may have suggested an event, but did you ever follow up on it? Did you contact the organization that's in charge and get all the info needed? Did you get signup packets and post the details? I can not see where you have done that and I know for a fact that you have not done it.

Never once did you let anyone know that your main computer was down.

We all have homes and families. That's no reason to not respond when someone asks a question. It's also not a reason to jump all over me when you don't like what someone else has to say. I am not the go between for you. You are a big girl and can deal with this on your own.

Also, please post your own writings and not things that someone else has put way more than their own two cents into. This is the Wench's Guild. The Rogues have their own place.


The camping issue is a huge one for me. First off, you are are putting SCA camping rules on the Ren Faire. There is one camping area at faire for everyone. There is no special sections for "family" or "adult" encampments. Also, you flat out told me that if any of us wanted to camp with you at June Faire, we would just have to deal with the BDSM thing. That's why most of us chose not to go. I scheduled my surgery when I did because of the issues here. Honestly, the juvenile behavior I see from you is more than I want to deal with sometimes. You seem to think that you are the only one who is right and that you have to maintain a firm grasp on "Your Local" Well this is Lars' Playground and we have to play by his rules.

As for a personal meeting with me, what do you think that is going to accomplish? Am I the one who posted the original letter with questions? Am I the one who has the issues? Nope, sorry, not me. You need to take it up with the one who originally had the issue. This is something that you refuse to do. You try to make me do it for you and I am not going to do it anymore. The guild is supposed to be about fun and sisterhood and supporting each other. I feel like I am supporting you all the time and getting NOTHING in return. When I ask for something, you normally have an excuse why you can't do it but if you need it, it is expected that you will get it and if you don't, then here comes the temper.



On to your second post.

All those things about BDSM encampments, you said them to me. When we were first talking about June faire and trying to get people to go to that and camp, you told me that was how it was going to be and if people didn't like it, they could just go camp elsewhere. Flat out that's what you said to me.

I have kids around when I go to events. At least 4 of them most of the time and usually more. The lifestyle choice is not something that I ever intend to expose them to. If they chose to learn about it later in life, then so be it. I will not be the one exposing them to it now.


At this point, I am really considering being done with the guild for awhile. It's not fun anymore. I feel like I have to be the go between, between you and everyone else. And to put a finer point on it, I really am not sure that I want to be represented by the only Madame with a negative reputation.

Ok so I have blown off a lot of steam here. To wrap it up, I am not your mother or babysitter. If you have a problem with someone, take it up with them.

rosefaeries
06-14-2010, 03:29 PM
Thank you for responding Kat. This answered many of the questions I had after reading Mary's posts.

I am not surprised by Mary's attitude about the camping based on what she used to have on her MySpace profile. (Which by the way is the reason I have not friended her anywhere.)


When this local is ready for a website, let me know. I will squeeze it in around my school work, or if I am taking the web design class for my multi-media degree at the time, I will make it my project for the class.

Danicia de Lontra
06-16-2010, 07:53 PM
Hello folks,

Just jumping in here quickly. I don't really know anyone involved and can't comment on the she said/she said. From someone who's started and ran a local, what I can say is:

1. There is a chain of command in the IWG. Please use it. In case you are not familiar with the process of disputes and expected behaviors, you should read this: http://www.wench.org/content.php/6-Electoral-Process

2. It is not the Madame's role to schedule anything for anyone. The role is to administer the Guild Hostel on a renfaire site, with the approval of said faire. Whilst it would be awesome to have so many events like larger locals have, it is not a requirement for leading nor for being a member, of the IWG.

I beg of everyone involved in this thread to step back, put your thoughts to paper and submit it through the proper channels. This is a public forum and it is never appropriate to sling the mud, especially at other members. No matter who's at "fault".

/flagging thread

Regards,
Danicia

SHpepperKat
06-17-2010, 04:24 AM
Danicia, thanks for the info. It's a big help.