Bachelorette

[Tess des Baisers]

I think I'm not alone in saying that I watched "Joe Millionaire" with considerable shock and disdain. BUt my wenchy self felt no such compunction last night watching the "Bachelorette".

OMG...can you imagine...being one wench among 25 hunk 'o hunk 'o burning loves???

I sat for the entire hour...mesmerized by these 25 guys, with this grin on my face from ear to ear. :lol: Talking about all you can eat buffet of "BEEF"!!! *WG*

Lucky Trista! For whatever her motives and forget about the fact that she is selling herself on live TV with the world as an audience...she is one lucky lady! Oh, to be in her shoes!

*sighing wistfully*

[Tink]

Well, I wouldn't complain if I were in her place.

However, I didn't watch last night. Didn't realize it was on.

I did hear the recap on the Today show this morning. The main observation made was that all the guys were looking at it as a competition. Unlike the women on the bachelor who seemed to be looking at it as their chance to find love....

[emalia]

I watched this show, but still refuse to watch the Joe show though!

I fell really bad for her though, as I truly think she is going to get her heart broken again.

[Gareth]

I've watched both shows and let me tell ya... they are the same. No matter what spin they put on it, no matter who is the pursuer and who the pursuee, it's still several people competing for the attention of one. Anyone that doesn't realize that's it's a competition is deluding themselves.

It's the same peacock and peahen strutting that goes on in every bar on every Saturday night across the country. Except that, in this case, 2 million people get to see the brush offs, dirty dancing and internal monologue of the participants.

We are a nation of voyeurs. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. It's that same curiosity and "desire to know" that has fueled our history of exploration, discovery and advancement. People are endlessly fascinated with how other people think, how they behave and ultimately "why". That's what comes from being socially cognitive animals.

What is really interesting to me, is how people (and I don't mean just here, I see it on other boards too) lambast the women on "Bachelor", "Joe Millionaire" and the original "Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire" as being gold-digging and desparate. Yet when the tables are turned, no one proclaims the men to be just as desparate. Instead women express envy at the woman's position and men just continue to place bets on who wins.

Socialogically the whole thing is incredible.

[Tink]

I've watched both shows and let me tell ya... they are the same. No matter what spin they put on it, no matter who is the pursuer and who the pursuee, it's still several people competing for the attention of one. Anyone that doesn't realize that's it's a competition is deluding themselves.

It's the same peacock and peahen strutting that goes on in every bar on every Saturday night across the country. Except that, in this case, 2 million people get to see the brush offs, dirty dancing and internal monologue of the participants.

We are a nation of voyeurs. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. It's that same curiosity and "desire to know" that has fueled our history of exploration, discovery and advancement. People are endlessly fascinated with how other people think, how they behave and ultimately "why". That's what comes from being socially cognitive animals.

What is really interesting to me, is how people (and I don't mean just here, I see it on other boards too) lambast the women on "Bachelor", "Joe Millionaire" and the original "Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire" as being gold-digging and desparate. Yet when the tables are turned, no one proclaims the men to be just as desparate. Instead women express envy at the woman's position and men just continue to place bets on who wins.

Socialogically the whole thing is incredible.

Gareth....hey glad to see you on the new board. :)

I can't say that in the case of the Bachelorette show, I don't think anyone is accusing the men of being gold diggers because, as far as I know the woman isn't loaded.

If they *were* to create a show where the woman to be pursued was indeed rich, then I'd say the men would get accused of being gold-diggers or perhaps gigilos.

As for why the men don't get called desperate, I suppose it is a double-standard. Also, and sorry ladies, it remains to be seen as yet.....I don't think the men will behave the way the women do in order to win. In reality they can't......a woman isn't looking for an easy lay, so that tactic can't be used.....unlike in the case of the pursue a man shows....

I for one don't think every woman on these shows has been desperate. Some are calculating and want a well-off man. The average guy, may be very accessible to them, but they don't want the average guy.

(This too, is why some, myself included may express what is perceived as envy about the position this woman is in. I know when I said I wouldn't complain about being in her position, I was thinking in terms of.... men pursuing *me* for once...what a pleasant and refreshing change *that* would be. :lol: Getting to pick and choose out of a rather handsome pool of candidates who, also I might add have good careers. What's *not* to envy? I mean not like that's happening to me. The well is rather dry in my neck of the woods. I'd be lucky to find *one* good candidate. :lol: )

The women I see as desperate are the ones, who throw themselves at the guy, getting physical with him right out of the gate, and cry when they get rejected (after knowing him for all of a day or even a week or two.)
Actually, maybe a better word for them is pathetic...

I guess these shows, should be refered to as competitions to be more accurate, because I do agree with the fact that although some may truly be in it for love...the bottom line is, no one wants to be rejected and come out the loser, so they all may do things they normally wouldn't just to be the winner.....despite whether that gets them someone they truly want to be with.

[AnkleGoddess]

If you want truly pathetic you gotta watch the train wrecks called 5th wheel and Elimidate. :lol:

[cyd]

I refuse to watch any of them. Bachelor or Bachelorette, it's a bunch of people who are willing to put their egos on the line for fifteen minutes of fame. The one with the guy who's earning 19K a year and pretending to be a millionaire is worse than the rest of them though... Because while there are plenty of people out there who are willing to go out there for their fifteen minutes of fame... In this case, you might actually really hurt someone in the process. Not just be eliminated, but humiliated and/or heartbroken. Imagine that the guy actually does fall for one of the girls, and badly. Only to be crushed if she rejects him because of it. Honestly, if I WERE one of the girls on that show (which you wouldn't catch me dead on), I'd be really insulted if after falling for a guy, he turned out to be something he really isn't. Not because he wouldn't be rich, but because he'd just have spent a month lying to me. Hell, if I wanted to marry rich, it wouldn't have been Joe.

I have even LESS respect for those shows that have a guy looking for a girl to date, and his exgirlfriend is reporting all of his "moves" in the current girl's ears. For gossake, it's bad enough that you resort to this kind of show to get your fifteen minutes of fame, but to sit there and "report" to the guy's current date? Or those shows that have a couple go to an island and see which one breaks first in the presence of beautiful specimens of the opposite sex? Sheesh. It's disgusting.

Personally, I think that if you want a relationship with someone, it's based on truth and friendship. If you don't have those, you don't have squat. Anything else above and beyond that is sheer gravy. And I don't need to watch my TV to see that.

Cyd (disgusted with "reality TV") :pfft:

[Ysobelle]

I just came across a pretty relevant opinion from someone whom I adore: Dan Savage. This was something he wrote in his column way back in March of 2000.

(For those of you unfamiliar with Dan Savage, he's a sex columnist who writes for The Stranger, a paper based in Seattle, whose tell-it-like-it-is, no-mercy columns are syndicated in papers all over the place. He may be a gay man, but I always find his columns pretty relevant to most humans, and wickedly funny, to boot. I'm rereading his archives, but his current column can be found at http://www.thestranger.com/current/savage.html )



While we're on the subject of straight people, folks are pretty worked up about Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire?, the TV show that arranged for a gold digger to legally wed a wealthy failed comic and motivational speaker, (a man who happens to have a history of domestic violence). I won't speculate as to What This Says About Our Culture -- frankly, I don't care what it says -- but there are a couple of things I'd like to point out. First, the very same people who are trying to prevent gay couples from enjoying the rights, responsibilities, fabulous presents, and alimony payments that flow from legal marriage -- the folks always going on about the "sacred institution of marriage" -- have been strangely silent about this assault on the sacred institution. Where's the Christian right's outrage?

Also, I'd like to reassure my fellow Americans that there are worse game shows out there. For instance, New Zealand's state-owned television network recently showed footage of a man stapling his penis to a crucifix and setting it on fire. While the stunt, performed on a show called Havoc 2000 Deluxe, was "unusual and macabre," it did not breech good taste standards -- at least according to New Zealand's government. And what did the man whose penis was set on fire, student Thomas Hendry, win? A million dollars? A kiwi orchard? A sheep ranch? No, the sucker won 500 NZ dollars ($245 US) and a $500 bar tab. Lordy, lordy, I wonder What This Says About New Zealand Culture?

[emalia]

As for why the men don't get called desperate, I suppose it is a double-standard. Also, and sorry ladies, it remains to be seen as yet.....I don't think the men will behave the way the women do in order to win. In reality they can't......a woman isn't looking for an easy lay, so that tactic can't be used.....unlike in the case of the pursue a man shows....

I for one don't think every woman on these shows has been desperate. Some are calculating and want a well-off man. The average guy, may be very accessible to them, but they don't want the average guy.

If I recall correctly, the men on this show are ones that wanted to have a chance with Trista while she was on the first show. They thought that they= guy did her pretty bad and wanted a chance to show her that not all men are like that.

But as for Trista being desperate, no.. Heat Cheerleaders have gagles of guys. There was a quote from her mom I think that best describes it.. she would need a full time screener for all the guys that would like to date her. She has specific criterea that she is looking for in a man, just like the rest of us, and these guys have what she is looking for, at least on paper. So it is an organized meat market of only Filet Mignon!

[Tess des Baisers]

Trista herself said there are lots of ways to meet guys, she just chose an unconventional manner.

She's right. While unconventional and probably not "our" choice, it was hers. For some of us, we "chose" our partner because someone "set us up" with someone else. Some used "personals" to advertise for a partner. For others of us, we met that special someone in a bar. For another few of us, we met our partner online. Who is to say which is right, which is wrong. Each has there own unique sets of pros and cons.

The reality is that today, so much more than ever, there are plethora of opportunities and methods to meet a partner. I met my husband Magnus online in a chat room. That was in 1995. My family and friends were shocked and dismayed. We married in 1998. We are still together and happy today in 2003. Are we an exception? Perhaps, perhaps not. Do my friends and family still love me? You betcha. At least those that count do!!!

But...apart from all of that...I started this thread not because of the questionable reasons why Trista and any of those guys on the show are involved....I started it to discuss the beefcake on the show!!! *drooling* And while I may be married, and older (45), I'm definitely not dead!

Men! What we would do without them???

[emalia]

I do have to say that Jamie is pretty good looking. and I would have to say that I wouldn't mind meeting Charlie, if just to look at him.. You know I must be pretty settled down if other guys don't do it for me and all I want to do is just look at them and maybe have a conversation and then go home to my sweetie...

[AllieSutherland]

MAN OH MAN! You could REALLY see the "competition" mindset come out tonight...

I HAD to die laughing at the whole Brook/Trista/horses thing. Gad, woman, you're not going to be LIVING with the horses... sheesh.

I want her to transfer to Joe Millionaire and shovel horse poop. ;)

:twisted: :evil:

LMAO!

XOXOXOXOX
Allie

[LadyRedMacNaughty]

MAN OH MAN! You could REALLY see the "competition" mindset come out tonight...

I HAD to die laughing at the whole Brook/Trista/horses thing. Gad, woman, you're not going to be LIVING with the horses... sheesh.

I want her to transfer to Joe Millionaire and shovel horse poop. ;)

:twisted: :evil:

LMAO!

XOXOXOXOX
Allie


How Hysterical! Shoveling horse poop!!!! Great idea Allie! :aok:

[emalia]

I truly hope that Brook doesn't get too much farther. If he is willing to give up the horses for her, he is not being true to himself and is just there for the competition!

[emalia]

Ok.. So I so wouldn't have picked Rob, but it was a hugly tough decision to make an I am SO glad that I am not on that show. I don't know how she can do it without crying. I would be in hysterics.