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Peaches O Malley
09-10-2010, 12:22 AM
Every last one is true...IMHO. :-D

1. If we teach small children, don’t tell us that our jobs are “so cute” and that you wish you could glue and color all day long.

2. I’m not a marriage counselor. At parent-teacher conferences, let’s stick to Dakota’s progress, not how your husband won’t help you around the house.
3. We’re sick of standardized testing and having to “teach to the test.”

4. Kids used to go out and play after school and resolve problems on their own. Now, with computers and TV, they lack the skills to communicate. They don’t know how to get past hurt feelings without telling the teacher and having her fix it.

5. When I hear a loud belch, I remember that a student’s manners are a reflection of his parents’.

6. Your child may be the center of your universe, but I have to share mine with 25 others.

7. Please help us by turning off the texting feature on your child’s phone during school hours.

8. Guys who dribble a ball for a couple of hours a game can make up to $20 million a year. We educate future leaders and make about $51,000 a year. Not even close.....

9. We take on the role of mother, father, psychologist, friend, and adviser every day. Plus, we’re watching for learning disabilities, issues at home, peer pressure, drug abuse, and bullying.

10. Kids dish on your secrets all the time—money, religion, politics, even Dad’s vasectomy.

11. Please, no more mugs, frames, or stuffed animals. A gift card to Starbucks or Staples would be more than enough. A thank-you note: even better.

12. We love snow days and three-day weekends as much as your kid does.

13. The students we remember are happy, respectful, and good-hearted, not necessarily the ones with the highest grades.

Gemdrite
09-10-2010, 01:04 AM
Most are pretty true. Some depend on the age of the child. For example, I teach 7 and 8 year olds, so...

"1. If we teach small children, don’t tell us that our jobs are “so cute” and that you wish you could glue and color all day long." Yeah, that's really obnoxious.

"2. I’m not a marriage counselor. At parent-teacher conferences, let’s stick to Dakota’s progress, not how your husband won’t help you around the house." Happens every single time I have conferences, with at least one set of parents.

"3. We’re sick of standardized testing and having to “teach to the test.”" This is why I teach in parochial schools. Less of this happens.

"4. Kids used to go out and play after school and resolve problems on their own. Now, with computers and TV, they lack the skills to communicate. They don’t know how to get past hurt feelings without telling the teacher and having her fix it." This one drives me crazy. I spent every recess teaching my kids how to communicate. When someone accidently hurts you, and they say they are sorry, and the only injury you have is to your pride, no, you don't need to go tell the teacher. This is how our sue-crazy society happened.

"5. When I hear a loud belch, I remember that a student’s manners are a reflection of his parents’." While sometimes true, mostly in my classroom it's just cause they think it's funny. They're little kids. In the upper grades, #5 would be more accurate.

"6. Your child may be the center of your universe, but I have to share mine with 25 others." Yep, and this includes parents too. Your time may be precious, but so is mine. Please schedule conferences, and then show up on time. If you aren't coming, a phone call or email would be nice.

"7. Please help us by turning off the texting feature on your child’s phone during school hours." Not a huge issue in my classroom, but really, what second grader needs a cell phone during the school day? Where exactly do you expect them to be? I kid you not, I had both parents separately call a child 5 minutes before the end of the school day. One, to tell her he was outside. Really?

"8. Guys who dribble a ball for a couple of hours a game can make up to $20 million a year. We educate future leaders and make about $51,000 a year. Not even close....." Try half that.

"9. We take on the role of mother, father, psychologist, friend, and adviser every day. Plus, we’re watching for learning disabilities, issues at home, peer pressure, drug abuse, and bullying." Add nurse, warden, nutritionist (no people, donuts are not a good consistent breakfast before school!) zookeeper, and secretary.

"10. Kids dish on your secrets all the time—money, religion, politics, even Dad’s vasectomy." But keep in mind that especially in the lower grades, the reports aren't always the most accurate. Tell you what. You only believe half of what they tell you, and I'll only believe half of what they tell me. :-D

"11. Please, no more mugs, frames, or stuffed animals. A gift card to Starbucks or Staples would be more than enough. A thank-you note: even better." Agreed! I really hate to make it sound like I'm asking for gifts, but Lord knows I have enough lotion, and I have a black thumb, so live plants are really a bad idea.

"12. We love snow days and three-day weekends as much as your kid does." These days are great for catching up on grading! And sleep....

"13. The students we remember are happy, respectful, and good-hearted, not necessarily the ones with the highest grades." And the ones who were big pains in our tushies. :-D

Annabella St. Clair
09-10-2010, 09:09 PM
I'm not a teacher but I cringe when I see all those Teacher based gifts. I hate knick knacks without a purpose. Gift cards rule and even if the teacher doesn't like the place, she can pass it on to someone who does.

Drea Beth
09-10-2010, 09:28 PM
I'm not a teacher but I cringe when I see all those Teacher based gifts. I hate knick knacks without a purpose. Gift cards rule and even if the teacher doesn't like the place, she can pass it on to someone who does.

I was married to a teacher. We had service for 8 made up of Hallmark teacher stuff! LOL

I started doing homemade cookies at the holidays with a nice card. The cookies could be taken home, left in the teachers room or tossed. It was the thought that counted!

Gemdrite
09-10-2010, 09:46 PM
I was married to a teacher. We had service for 8 made up of Hallmark teacher stuff! LOL

I started doing homemade cookies at the holidays with a nice card. The cookies could be taken home, left in the teachers room or tossed. It was the thought that counted!
Mmm, I love the homemade stuff. I would caution that you should really check for allergies before making something, though. One of our teachers has really really bad food allergies, to the point of she has to make sure all the kids wash their hands before coming into the classroom after lunch because if they even touch her after eating something she's allergic to, she'd have to go home. She still appreciates everything that is made for her, but she generally ends up passing it along to the rest of us without even trying just in case there might be something in it she's allergic to.

And every Christmas we have the great Gift Card Swap in the teacher lounge, lol. It's worse than wheeling and dealing in Monopoly..."I'll trade you two Starbucks for a Target..."

The 6th Rogue
09-14-2010, 09:33 AM
On a lighter note…

The innocence of children....

1) NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'

2) OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a new starter handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents .'

3) KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone.. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.'

4) MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the woman's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked,'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'

5) POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at a primary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'

6) POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked. 'It sure is,' I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, 'What'd he do?'

7) ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to the elderly, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'

8) DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.''And why not, darling?' 'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'

9) DEATH
While walking along the pavement in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton wadding, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said:'Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes.' (I want this line used at my funeral!)

10) SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother.
'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'

11) BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out. 'What have you got there, dear?' With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered,
'I think it's Adam's underwear!'