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View Full Version : Plenty of Fish - looking for advice



Stolenhalo6
09-15-2011, 08:49 PM
Are there any ladies on the boards here who've used PoF? I'd gladly take some advice.

Brigid
09-15-2011, 09:59 PM
I did I much prefer(ed) okcupid.com..... I found alot more interesting people on ok, plenty of fish people just didn't want to meet off line.

Gemdrite
09-15-2011, 11:41 PM
I'm on Plenty of Fish, but I don't use it actively, so I'm probably not much help. I don't like that the "Meet Me" feature sends you an email saying a person wants to meet you if the person clicks "Yes" or "Maybe," but doesn't tell you which one they clicked. It makes it seem like people want to meet you even if they weren't really all that sure about it, and it leads to awkward messages later.

Stolenhalo6
09-15-2011, 11:56 PM
Okay, so I'm not so off base in being unattracted to that particular feature. Of the six I've gotten so far, three were actual guys I'd be interested in but they clearly wouldn't (probably (making a stereotypical judgment here)) be interested in me due to one large difference in our life styles - I'm way out of shape and they are really into working out. Well, at least I can take it as a compliment that my face is pretty enough to get a "maybe"!

Gemdrite
09-16-2011, 12:27 AM
Okay, so I'm not so off base in being unattracted to that particular feature. Of the six I've gotten so far, three were actual guys I'd be interested in but they clearly wouldn't (probably (making a stereotypical judgment here)) be interested in me due to one large difference in our life styles - I'm way out of shape and they are really into working out. Well, at least I can take it as a compliment that my face is pretty enough to get a "maybe"!

Haha, that's kind of how I feel about it too. I've gotten some that are all "i love hiking, sports, cars, sky diving" blah blah blah. And I can tell they never looked at my profile where I said I am an indoors person. And I'm such a snob, I won't even bother with someone whose grammar and punctuation is atrocious. Which means slim pickings for me, lol. One or two mistakes are one thing. Intentionally not capitalizing or spelling things out? Ugh, no thanks.

Phoenix McHeit
09-16-2011, 08:21 AM
And I'm such a snob, I won't even bother with someone whose grammar and punctuation is atrocious. Which means slim pickings for me, lol. One or two mistakes are one thing. Intentionally not capitalizing or spelling things out? Ugh, no thanks.

Bwahahahaha! When I was on OkCupid, this was part of my profile:

"I'm also really good at communication. If you made it this far into my profile, you've noticed that I use complete words. 'You' is spelled with three letters, not one. If ur idea uv chat iz 2 du dis, ur 2 kool 4 me, pls go awa n dont msg me kthxbi. Sheesh."

And yet I STILL got the occasional 'Ur cute wana hang 2nite' messages. Ugh.

Stolenhalo6
09-16-2011, 10:29 PM
And yet I STILL got the occasional 'Ur cute wana hang 2nite' messages. Ugh.

Apparently you're just so cute that some people can't heed (sp?) the warning!

First real message received today. I guess I'll go find out if it's a creep looking for a hook up or somebody actually decent...fingers crossed! (For which outcome, I guess I haven't decided yet...)

Gemdrite
09-16-2011, 10:47 PM
Bwahahahaha! When I was on OkCupid, this was part of my profile:

"I'm also really good at communication. If you made it this far into my profile, you've noticed that I use complete words. 'You' is spelled with three letters, not one. If ur idea uv chat iz 2 du dis, ur 2 kool 4 me, pls go awa n dont msg me kthxbi. Sheesh."

And yet I STILL got the occasional 'Ur cute wana hang 2nite' messages. Ugh.

Haha, exactly! I use the occasional textspeak, like lol, rofl, or brb. But I do it most because "laughing out loud" just doesn't look right or have the same effect, lol. And if I type brb, it's cause I had to go to the bathroom and I do want those couple extra seconds, :D

Stolenhalo6
09-17-2011, 10:10 AM
Well if two ladies that I find to be pretty smart use bad/lazy communication skills as a way to filter guys out, I'm going to too.

Messages from three guys now; one maybe okay, the other two are suspicious. If nothing else, this is at least entertaining.

Thanks ladies for your thoughts!

Gemdrite
09-17-2011, 12:18 PM
Well if two ladies that I find to be pretty smart use bad/lazy communication skills as a way to filter guys out, I'm going to too.

Messages from three guys now; one maybe okay, the other two are suspicious. If nothing else, this is at least entertaining.

Thanks ladies for your thoughts!

I was in a really cranky mood one night and had only logged onto PoF to check a message, and this guy caught me and sent me a chat request. Being cranky, I just closed the request because I didn't feel like talking to anyone. Not 2 minutes later I got this message from him in my inbox yelling at me and calling me stupid for being on a dating site but not talking to people. I was like, "Yeah, that's a good way to get me to talk to you. Delete!"

I just added this to my profile: "F u cn rd ths u cnt spl wrth a dm, and I won't reply to you." :D Probably won't do any good, but at least they were warned!

Lady Laurie
09-30-2011, 08:21 PM
Bwahahahaha! When I was on OkCupid, this was part of my profile:

"I'm also really good at communication. If you made it this far into my profile, you've noticed that I use complete words. 'You' is spelled with three letters, not one. If ur idea uv chat iz 2 du dis, ur 2 kool 4 me, pls go awa n dont msg me kthxbi. Sheesh."

And yet I STILL got the occasional 'Ur cute wana hang 2nite' messages. Ugh.


Where's my like button when I need it?

Stolenhalo6
10-05-2011, 08:51 PM
Quick update: The first guy who messaged me is the only one that I decided was worth talking to after the first couple of messages. The rest were all creepers. We went out on four dates in the first week and have talked or texted every day since the last date. He just had surgery today and I'm going to go play "nurse" tomorrow night ;) So far so good.

Kyrera
10-06-2011, 11:55 AM
Squee!

Ariyana Dragonwagon
10-11-2011, 10:31 AM
Quick update: The first guy who messaged me is the only one that I decided was worth talking to after the first couple of messages. The rest were all creepers. We went out on four dates in the first week and have talked or texted every day since the last date. He just had surgery today and I'm going to go play "nurse" tomorrow night ;) So far so good.

Wow. Sounds like you got lucky and things are looking up!

When you first posted this, I had planned to add a bit of advice I have given to other friends who used POF and a few other services of that nature, but the computer had frozen and I never came back until today. My bit of advice is, if at all possible, when you are going out with someone the first time, even if just meeting for coffee, Please leave the details of who it is, where you are meeting and if you have a phone number or anything for the gentleman that info as well, with a good trusted friend. That way if it should turn out to not be a good guy someone knows how to come to the rescue easier. I know, I have been told I worry too much, but this world is no longer as safe as it once was and just in case is always safer. We had also worked out a time or so that my friends would text or call and check in, just so I knew they were still alive. Safe is smart in this world!

I wish you (and everyone else out there looking) good luck, and even if you don't find the one at least a lot of fun in the search! We are Wenches after all! ;-)

PixieStyx
10-11-2011, 06:41 PM
And I'm such a snob, I won't even bother with someone whose grammar and punctuation is atrocious. Which means slim pickings for me, lol. One or two mistakes are one thing. Intentionally not capitalizing or spelling things out? Ugh, no thanks.

*butting in late*

First off, I'd like to say that I met my best friend on Plenty of Fish (or Plenty Offish) and we've been together for about four and a half years. BUT - I had to kiss a lot of toads before he found me.

One of my favorite stories (I'm really not a bitch ... not always): This guy contacted me because he thought we'd be perfect for each other. I like faires; he likes fairs. I listed my religion as "other" (I'm pagan); he listed his religion as "other". I was pretty sure he'd never been to a ren faire (maybe it was unfair but that was a weeder question) so I asked which faire he liked best. "Oh, I like all of them," he said. "State fairs, county fairs ..." Ok, strike one and he continues his pitch.

I asked him what was his religion, since he'd listed it as "other". His answer? Meathedist. I'm not even lying. However, it was probably the most honest thing the guy said.

By this time, I was pretty much done talking to him so I told him I didn't think we had enough in common blah blah blah - trying to let him down easy. He kept pushing, so I finally said, "Right or wrong, I judge a person's intelligence by how well they write and spell. You can do neither."

To which he replied, "Eh?"

He was on my last nerve, so I spelled it out, "I don't date stupid men (technically untrue; I've dated a lot of dumbasses but he didn't need to know that) and I think you're stupid."

He FINALLY understood me and got all huffy. But at least he left me alone after that.

Long story long: It might take a while to sort through the meatheads, but there are some winners out there!

Gemdrite
10-11-2011, 07:51 PM
I asked him what was his religion, since he'd listed it as "other". His answer? Meathedist. I'm not even lying. However, it was probably the most honest thing the guy said.

Okay, I'm asking this not to be a snob to you, but to find out because it would add to the funnyness (yes, that's a word, I say so. :P) Did he spell it that way? Meathedist? Cause if he did, that would be even funnier, misspelling his own "religion."

Stolenhalo6
10-11-2011, 07:52 PM
I know, I have been told I worry too much,

Mom, is that you? J/K I actually told my mom where I was going and emailed her all known information I had on him. And I turned my position locator on my phone on so that as my mom said she "could have Reed find me if I went missing." As in Spencer Reed from Criminal Minds. To which I pointed out that Penelope was the smarty pants gadgety one.

So far things are going well with Mr P. I think he's really into me. I'm usually the one to move way too fast and get too intense, but I've been very careful about that. Actually, I almost feel like he's getting more serious than is warranted. But not enough to freak me out or anything. And as one of my friends says, you just can't put a time line on these things. So far I know I really like him as a person and he makes me laugh.

At the very least I'm having fun.

PixieStyx
10-11-2011, 08:19 PM
Okay, I'm asking this not to be a snob to you, but to find out because it would add to the funnyness (yes, that's a word, I say so. :P) Did he spell it that way? Meathedist? Cause if he did, that would be even funnier, misspelling his own "religion."

His spelling, not mine. And, yeah, you'd think he'd know how to spell "Methodist", unless he did, in fact, mean "Meathedist". *shrugs* Maybe I was too hasty. Perhaps he belongs to a Pastafarian spin-off group.

PixieStyx
10-11-2011, 08:21 PM
<snip> ... you just can't put a time line on these things. So far I know I really like him as a person and he makes me laugh.

At the very least I'm having fun.

SO important!

Gemdrite
10-11-2011, 08:51 PM
His spelling, not mine. And, yeah, you'd think he'd know how to spell "Methodist", unless he did, in fact, mean "Meathedist". *shrugs* Maybe I was too hasty. Perhaps he belongs to a Pastafarian spin-off group.
Oh, I'm so glad it was his error, so I can laugh hysterically at it. That just makes it even more awesome! I had one guy message me, and we talked for a while, but every time I talked to him, he obsessed about his cat (I'm allergic, not anti-cat, but definitely puts a damper on things when you can't hang out with out dying...) and his injured toe. Like, every discussion somehow rounded back to those two topics. And he would message me *every single time* I got online. He finally got all whiny and was like, "Don't you want to talk to me?" Aaaaand that was the end, lol. I teach, I get enough whining at work. I said not every time I got online, and he blocked me. Darn.

PixieStyx
10-11-2011, 09:15 PM
Oh, I'm so glad it was his error, so I can laugh hysterically at it. That just makes it even more awesome! I had one guy message me, and we talked for a while, but every time I talked to him, he obsessed about his cat (I'm allergic, not anti-cat, but definitely puts a damper on things when you can't hang out with out dying...) and his injured toe. Like, every discussion somehow rounded back to those two topics. And he would message me *every single time* I got online. He finally got all whiny and was like, "Don't you want to talk to me?" Aaaaand that was the end, lol. I teach, I get enough whining at work. I said not every time I got online, and he blocked me. Darn.

Oh, jeez! Can you imagine actually spending face time with that? Whining when he doesn't get his way?

I went on one date with this other guy ... what a mistake. I should have known something was up when he kept pushing to meet in person. He claimed he was a retired firefighter but I don't believe him (didn't then, either). We agreed to meet at a Starbucks that was close to my house. When I pulled up, I could see him through the window and immediately regretted the date. The only reason I went inside was because he'd driven 40 miles just to meet me and I felt bad about that. The instant I was inside, however, I regretted being so kind toward him. I'm sure it was nerves but he talked REALLY LOUDLY about his dog. Nothing else, just his dog. Now, I'm a dog lover, but I neither want nor need to know everything about a person's dog. Save some of it for the second date, you know?

So I spent the first 10 minutes wishing I wasn't there. Then I spent the next 20 or so minutes trying to come up with a good excuse for leaving. I finally said, "You know, I'm just not feeling this. I need to go home." He made me feel so bad because he held the door for me going out. When he got home, he messaged me that "we were just nervous and next time will be better". Uh ... no. Sorry, pal, there will be no next time.

Marc can be really, really annoying sometimes but I am sooooo glad I have someone and don't have to subject myself to dating anymore. Yikes.