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View Full Version : What do you find to be the most aggravating at a faire?



LadyStacy
01-23-2013, 10:57 AM
Fellow wenches,

I was advised to start a new thread and maybe get some activity going on this board.

I am a newbie and I am looking for LOTS of feedback on attending a faire and how best to prepare for it. So far I have received many messages about wardrobe and accessories. Now for the other side.

What is it about a faire that really upsets you? I would use stronger language here but I'm trying to be nice about things.

I'm sure there is SOMETHING that makes your blood boil. Please share and help me better understand what the heck (again nice language) I'm getting myself into.

So what is it? Here's your chance to do a little venting too so we'll both benefit.

Lady Stacy

RedFox
01-23-2013, 11:44 AM
I think one of the things that has annoyed me most at faires I have been too (primarily at PARF for me) have been the lewd comments your hear being said by patrons about the way those in garb appear. Specifically their bosoms and back sides when they are laced into corsets/bodices. I, myself, am small in the front and when I wear a bodice/corset I actually have cleavage. (Something I was so excited about when it happened but not something that I project to other people unless I know them and it is in private - my sister for example has heard my excitement over having cleavage numerous times). I had a patron, a male patron - drunk, come up to me as I was leaving a booth where I had made a purchase and ask me if he could help me put my money away in my cleavage where it would be safe.

These cases are not too often (at least I hope not) but every now and then you get one or two bold enough to be that crude to someone they do not know just because they want to be a lecher.

My only other major annoyances have been people who get completely plastered while at faire - but ground security tends to take care of those.

LadyStacy
01-23-2013, 12:40 PM
Lewd comments from drunken guys? NO WAY!

The over indulgence of alcohol at events sometimes make me think that some people (gals included) leave their brains at home. The grounds security tries to deal with these folks but they can't be everywhere. Girls, please remember to be careful.

We go to these events laced into corsets to better project ourselves. Does this somehow gives the male patrons permisson to think and say (and try) whatever they want?

I also hope that these cases rarely happen.

I can see how this can ruin a fun time.

Lady Stacy

RedFox
01-23-2013, 12:50 PM
A lot of the times the stuff that annoys is the stuff that is to be expected. Like lewd comments/actions from drunkards XD Though to be honest I have a MUCH longer list of things that annoy me from conventions then I have ever had from going to faire.

LadyStacy
01-23-2013, 01:02 PM
To me conventions can be fun. It all depends on your role there. If you're working then I can't help but think that your feet are killing you since you have to be standing all day.

The conventions that I've gone to are as a visitor for the Engineering type. Fun and an excuse to get out of work for the day.

There seems to be few difficulties with ren faires. Maybe the real world is the one that needs help.

Lady Stacy

Buxom Wench
01-23-2013, 03:09 PM
Drunk or sober, I detest that some people think that just because we are dressed as Wenches, we are "loose" women.
We come from all walks of life in the "real world". I know college professors, secretaries, chefs, nurses, lawyers, etc. If those same said idiots met us in real life, they'd probably run the other way. We go to faire to "play dress up" and let the worries of the week fall to the wayside while we relax and enjoy our friends. For someone to presume what we do is the biggest insult.

As for the leches and their 7th grade comments, I usually stop, look them up and down, sniff the air as if I smell rotten eggs, and then walk away. They're not worth my time.

All in all, I enjoy faire too much to let those little things annoy me.

It's all in your attitude and if you let things bother you.

LadyStacy
01-23-2013, 04:18 PM
The comments of Buxom Wench are so well said.

Take trust in that our spirit is stronger that that of those with the 7th grade comments, and mentality. They are all the exception and not the norm.

As you pointed out we are professionals from different backgrounds and all walks of life. We are NOT the "loose" women that some think we are.

We all need a break from the daily pressures, myself included. Whiel doing so we don't need some people coming along and ruining our fun.

So what else is bothering everyone? Is the weather at the faires too hot, cold or wet? Do you go to the faire just for the delicious food at reasonable prices? Is the cost of admission too low? Come on, girls, there has to be something else about faires that bothers you. Speak up! I want to hear it all.

If there IS something wonderful I want to hear that too. Obviously there HAS to be something about this or we just wouldn't be here.

As always, please be careful.

Lady Stacy

Jamianne
01-24-2013, 05:47 PM
My biggest pet peeve is people who insist on touching. Examples:

I've had people pet/pull on my fox tail. This has resulted in smacked hands as I don't turn around anymore, I just swat. More than once I've been yelled at by some parent because I just swatted their little snowflake's hand. My response: "Teach them not to touch without asking first." Nine times out of ten, if someone (usually a child) asks to feel my tail, I'll let them.

I get people (usually men) trying to pull out whatever's in my cleavage. I usually have a bodice chiller and a rose. I still can't believe that people think it's okay to stick their hands between my boobs. They may be out there, but it's not an invitation to touch!

People have also tried to pull my dagger out of its sheath, open my pouches, or just generally be touchy-feely. These are complete strangers. Pisses me off to no end. Just because I'm in working a booth or in garb, does not give a pass to touch any part of me or my garb or accessories.

Okay, mini-rant over. :)

This doesn't happen too often, mind you. But enough to note.

shyanwench
01-24-2013, 11:36 PM
I had a very interesting experience a last year... I visited St. Augustine, FL. There was a "pirate shop". Many of us in garb, will take on the persona we relate to for our Wenchiness or Piratess. Wow, I was impacted by a big surprise. I came to the conclusion that I was "way under-acting" . Mind you, I was not in garb-- unfortunately-- I was just a plain ole tourista! Oh my goodness-- The Piratess was down right hatefull! She made hateful comments to my daughter and grand baby. Be a Pirate-- but don't disrespect the customers. She lost a customer-- I was ready to drop $$$ on some new garb for the 3 of us. Haaaaa.... she lost her booty. The woman actually pushed me with her body... I wish I had been in garb, I would have make her walk the plank to get a new job.

I realized that I was not at Faire... however... I have, in the past--at the Colorado Ren. Fair, have encountered rude and demeaning vendors.

LadyStacy
01-25-2013, 09:19 AM
The episode that Jamianne experienced makes me wonder what the heck am I getting into. OK, there are A$$ Hole$ to be found everywhere but why can't everyone behave?

There are some Bozo's with a 7th grade mentality can have too many drinks and start to get too 'touchy feely'. I can understand but not accept their behavior. How do to keep these guys under control?

Where are the parents to keep their spawns under control when they start touching?

I've taught my kids, at a very young age, to respect other people and their property. I also explained to my kids that when there is a service dog (seeing-eye dog) they should NEVER walk up and pet them. These animals are working. I have been thanked by those with these animals for letting kids know this.

Sometimes I think that people should pass a test before they're allowed to reproduce.

Thanks for making me aware of the type of people that I may encounter.

Also, thanks for letting me vent a bit. I'm feeling much better now.

Lady Stacy

LadyStacy
01-25-2013, 10:30 AM
I was just thinking of an interesting story of what happened when a 'touchy feely' guy went too far.

My daughter knows of a young woman that went out for the evening with some friends. They stopped at a bar and this one guy kept up his 'touchy feely' routine. He would grab the butt of this one young lady. She told him to stop. He didn't. She warned him, in a stronger tone, to stop. He didn't. She then took action and with little effort had him lying flat on his back in the middle of the bar.

Moral: Don't mess with a young lady that is a Black Belt in Tae Kwon Do.

This Neanderthal didn't bother her any more after that.

I just love this story. I just wish there was a video of it.

Lady Stacy

MaidenFaeSnow
01-26-2013, 07:33 PM
While I have experienced the BS of the a-hole patrons who think faire is nothing short of a beer and boob fest, I have found that this is the exception to the rule. The most annoying thing I have come across is one guy yelling at me, "HEY YOU! My girl wants to take your picture!!" Really?? Um, no. If you asked nice, or even in a quieter voice than shouting at me like I have a responsibility to stop for your picture I might have obliged.

Faire is fun, especially when you surround yourself with friends who only enhance your experience.

If you go into it with the attitude of what the hell am I getting myself into, you might just get it.

Lady Sarah
01-27-2013, 11:53 PM
MFS hit the nail on the head - if you go into it expecting some sort of trouble, you'll find it. AND, you're in the wrong place. I've never had the issues described here. Well, I've been grabbed, but they were asking for pictures and usually it was a grab on the shoulder or upper arm. If anyone's grabbed one of the tails I used to wear, it was only a friend that did it. And only one guy's put his hand down my cleavage and that was at my invitation.

Being a Wench isn't about boobs and whatnot - it's about confidence and self-actualization. If you've the mindset of 'what am I getting myself into', you're in the wrong place.

Lady Sarah
01-28-2013, 12:01 AM
As to the topic "What do I find to be the most aggravating at faire?"

The idiots that think bodices are meant to be laced up so tight that one cannot breathe and that tits are supposed to be a deep breath away from indecent exposure; the idiots that treat Faire as their own private public orgy, not the family show that it's supposed to be, or that we, as bodiced up Wenches are nothing but sluts putting on a show. We're sexy, yes, but not because we put our assets on display. We are there to enjoy ourselves, not to be your spank bank material (unless that is our choice and we're willing participants), and we, generally, know where that line is and when to and when not to cross it.

LadyStacy
01-28-2013, 04:57 AM
Lady Sarah,

Thank you for the clarification that I needed. I am a newbie
and have little experience of being a wench at a Faire.

Some of the stories in this forum, and in private messages, first led me to believe that some behavior was not what was expected at a family friendly event. My comment was a knee-jerk reaction to some of these stories. I now understand that these stories were the few exceptions to the normal fun that everyone experiences.

I started this discussion to get some activity going in these forums. In doing so some responses. were pointing out the possible worst behavior they experienced. I need to have remembered that these were, by far, the exceptions.

Since then I have come to realize that faires are not the 'beer and boob' fests that some had fitst made me think they were.

You have made clearer my understanding of what goes on and that some of these advances were by 'invitation-only'.

Thank you all for your help on this matter. I do believe that I know what I'm getting myself into and I am confident that it is nothing more than a fun time for all.

Lady Stacy

Lady Sarah
01-28-2013, 11:48 AM
Stacy,

We all have different experiences. There are always going to be assholes, no matter the setting. My height and size tends to put people off of randomly grabbing me. And there is no one definition of Wench. No one can say what it is to BE a Wench, we just know it when we see it. Alternatively, we do know what it is NOT. You're still new and we all were there once upon a time. It's a learning curve and you'll get there.

LadyStacy
01-28-2013, 12:10 PM
Lady Sarah,

Thank you for your words that help me understand what this is all about. I have always felt the need to do this and I'm finally getting around to it. I am finding that the only regret of doing certain things in life is that I waited too long to do them.

I can understand that certain 'size' can compel others to make you the target of random grabbing but I can't help but wonder how your 'height' can be a factor.

I guess it is like you said ... It's a learning curve.

I can just imagine myself at my first faire, the tall gal with eyes wide open looking so confused and probably tripping on her skirt (I'm not used to wearing long skirts). Yep! That will be me, big and clumsy. As you've said, you've all been there so PLEASE be patient with me.

Thanks to all for your help.

Lady Stacy

Margaret
01-28-2013, 03:10 PM
I started this discussion to get some activity going in these forums. In doing so some responses. were pointing out the possible worst behavior they experienced. I need to have remembered that these were, by far, the exceptions.
Lady Stacy

Sugar, if you FLAT OUT ASK what aggravates us at faire, that is the type of answers you are going to get. So, don't become a quivering little flower when you get the horror story type answers.

Lady Sarah
01-28-2013, 03:22 PM
Lady Sarah,

I can understand that certain 'size' can compel others to make you the target of random grabbing but I can't help but wonder how your 'height' can be a factor.

Lady Stacy

Sweetie, I'm 6'1. Most guys are right at my height or just short of it. They're either impressed or terrified.

LadyStacy
01-28-2013, 03:39 PM
The worst of the horror stories may not be for the faint of heart but I get the impression that most gals here have seen/experienced this and they still return. Don't you worry about me and these events as I can take care of myself ;) Trust me on this ... I have never been, or ever will be, a quivering little flower.

I had a remark earlier in this discussion and I was just commenting on a reply to my remark. I'll have to admit that the stories are quite interesting and, hopefully, all harmless.

I am a newbie here and I did ask for input and boy, did I get input. While some were sent privately many appeared in this forum. The visitors to these faires seem no different than those at other events (football games, NASCAR, ...) where most people behave themselves. It only takes a couple of a-holes to mess things up.

I know this isn't Disneyland and it also isn't Sodom and Gomorrah. Hopefully, these are all fun-filled places where we can go and enjoy, and to return again and again.

I think we've covered the rhelm of ill behaved guys with a 7th grade mentality. So, the question still remains, what else irks you ladies about the faires? Anything else? Everyone thrilled with the spotlessly clean restrooms/porta-potties (I figured that this can get some discussions going)?

BTW - What do most gals do when it rains. OK, first guess is to get wet. Besides that?

Only 15 weeks to go until I get to the Georgia Ren Fest where I go as a wench and no longer a simple visitor.

Can't wait.

Thanks all for your comments and input. I love them all.

Lady Stacy

LadyStacy
01-28-2013, 03:43 PM
Sweetie, I'm 6'3". I doubt if anyone is impressed with me as terrified is more like it.

Would I be the first one to refer to you as 'shortie'? ;)

Lady Stacy

Gemdrite
01-28-2013, 11:31 PM
Sweetie, I'm 6'3". I doubt if anyone is impressed with me as terrified is more like it.

Would I be the first one to refer to you as 'shortie'? ;)

Lady Stacy

I'm guessing you might be the last...:snicker:

RedFox
01-29-2013, 12:13 AM
BTW - What do most gals do when it rains. OK, first guess is to get wet. Besides that?



During the summer when it is hot and humid and there is a nice bit of rain I tend to dance around and enjoy it. However during the fall months or when there is a nice nip in the air and I don't want to get wet I have a nice warm shawl that I wrap up in under my cloak. My cloak is a nice hefty material which I also took some time to attack with scotch guard when I first got it. The bottom of my skirt and chemise my get wet, and my boots of course, but I stay pretty happy and dry that way. When walking around during the rain I just try to keep my head down enough that I can still see where I am going but that the hood on my cloak is blocking the rain from assaulting my face.

Margaret
01-29-2013, 07:35 AM
Fellow wenches,

I was advised to start a new thread and maybe get some activity going on this board.

I am a newbie and I am looking for LOTS of feedback on attending a faire and how best to prepare for it. So far I have received many messages about wardrobe and accessories. Now for the other side.

What is it about a faire that really upsets you? I would use stronger language here but I'm trying to be nice about things.

I'm sure there is SOMETHING that makes your blood boil. Please share and help me better understand what the heck (again nice language) I'm getting myself into.

So what is it? Here's your chance to do a little venting too so we'll both benefit.

Lady Stacy


OK - to save us all a bunch of suffering.

Stacy - while I do not understand your need to be the one to "bring back activity on the board", let me suggest something else....

You are a noob in a group of women who love faire. Some almost to the point of obsession (not that it's a bad thing). Asking us to point out what we dislike about faire is like asking "You know those shoes you absolutely love and would wear every day if you could. The ones that fit just perfectly and make you happy everytime you wear them. Yeah - what aggravates you about them?"

You are not going to get a very extensive list nor much interaction that you seem to need to generate.

We have all been noobs at one time or another. Ask your questions, please. That's what we are here for. However, ask what a day at faire is like. Ask what a Local does and how it operates. Ask what a Wench IS and what it means to be a Wench.

Margaret
01-29-2013, 07:37 AM
I'm guessing you might be the last...:snicker:

DAMNIT!!! Where's the LOVE button when you need it.


(No 'love button' jokes - I know how you all think!!!)

:snicker:

Jamianne
01-29-2013, 07:57 AM
Yes, my being touched/grabbed is the exception, not the rule. However, it has happened enough to make an impression. Now, it did mostly occur when I was working at a booth and a lot of the offenders seemed to have the attitude that because I worked Faire, I was fair game. I certainly did not "look" for trouble or expect to find it. There's no need to wonder what you're getting into. Overall, I've found Faire to be a wonderful and fun experience. And there are assholes everywhere, not just at Faire.

GoodyTombShoes
01-29-2013, 08:12 AM
Ask what a wench can do for you AND what you can do for wenches.

LadyStacy
01-29-2013, 09:38 AM
Please understand that I started this thread for two reasons:

There seemed to be little activity in these forums and I wanted to get some action going.
I offered this as a way for others to vent their frustrations a bit.
I have asked questions for what a day at the faire is like but only received only a few responses. Some of the replies stated that many have gone over to use Facebook and that's why these forums have little activity. That's when it was suggested that I start a new thread. Here we are.

Everyone, please help this newbie. What is a Wench and what does it means to be a Wench?

Thanks to all for their help.

Lady Stacy

Margaret
01-29-2013, 10:58 AM
OK - here is what you have to understand...

The board has been slow and or dead for many months. People have stopped posting for various reasons. Just because you post something so you can make the board active again, does not mean it will actually happen. If it happens, it may not last for long.

If you have never been to a faire yet, some of the answeres we give you will make no sense. Faire in some ways is a different animal altogether. In other ways it is much like attending any weekend festival. I mean, what do you do when you spend $20 to get in to your county faire? You walk around and look at stuff, you hang with your friends and drink beer, you see some shows - all pretty much what you do at a Ren Faire.

Also, this has been "our" board for way longer than you have been around. If we wanted to post about our frustrations or vent, we would have. You are very welcome on the board. Please post anything you want (within reason) but, you are posting for your benifit, not ours.

Margaret
01-29-2013, 11:06 AM
Now, that being said...

"Wench" means something different to each woman who chooses to buy a pin. For some it is as simple as buying in to the club of the IWG and thinking "Hey, this is fun!". For some, it's a statement and a state of mind - a way of presenting themselves as a strong and independent woman who is not afraid to use all her talents to make herself and others happy. You have to find out what it means for you.

Women Entitled to Nothing but Complete Happiness. Wench. Now, I don't see this as a carte blanche to do whatever makes you happy to the detriment of others, nor does it give you the right to be a complete bitch. It is a way, means and method to realizing that you deserve to be happy, that you have the power to change your life instead of just sitting there whinging about it. That sometimes you just need to pull on the big girl panties and deal with it, no matter what that "it" is.

LadyStacy
01-29-2013, 11:21 AM
Margaret,

I, very much, appreciate your comments and suggestions. My sincerest apologies to all if I crossed any line with my questions, remarks or comments. I respect each and every person on this board as well as their remarks.

These forums are different than some others I belong to and protocol here is different. I have a lot of learning to do on how things work here as well as at the faire.

Your continued comments are welcome.

Lady Stacy

Lady Sarah
01-29-2013, 02:49 PM
In the immortal words of Fight Club: "You are not that special". I.E - you are not so important that you, Stacy, can perform CPR on this board and bring it back to life. I don't say this to hurt you or to be a bitch (which I am, but I've mellowed a little with age. For example, I let the 'shortie' comment go unanswered, whereas in older days... ah, well, others can testify to my temper and tongue sharpness), but I say this as more established Wenches than yourself have tried and it has failed.

I sincerely understand the desire to breathe new life into a slow/dead board. I miss the old days when we had two or three pages of new activity in just a few hours and one could spend the whole day bouncing from one conversation to the other. Then again, there are many aspects of the old days that I'd just as soon leave behind. The Wench Board, as an animal, has evolved from what it was originally intended and I think it's living out its well-earned retirement in peace and quiet. Let sleeping dogs lie.

You're a new Wench (or will be when you get your pin). Great. Good on ya. Ask all the questions you need to, but be prepared for less than favorable or desired answers. The majority of us who will respond to you, we check the board once or twice a day, maybe as little as once a week, and we'll be more than happy to answer your questions. If you ask stupid questions, you will get a verbal reminder. Begging forgiveness and trying to ingratiate yourself to us is exhausting - for both sides. So, if you get a comeuppance, just say 'Sorry, I made a mistake' and move on. Crawling on your belly like a dog that's been spanked is really unattractive and unbecoming. PMs here are a courtesy-based entity - generally they're entered into with permission. Generally it's forgivable to PM without permission, but don't do it too often. And, ask here on the public forums if it's alright to take a conversation private.

Wench, to me, isn't about the complete happiness, but about internal testicular fortitude and being free within yourself to be who you know you are. I guess in a way that's compete happiness. I don't need a bodice or a pin to make that happen. Not now. Getting the pin and membership was more like permission for me to be Me, the me I knew I was inside all along but couldn't be because of whatever reason. I'm a Bitch. I don't deny it and there are times when I'll tear someone a new ass. I'm also one of the nicest people you'll meet. I just have a low bullshit tolerance level. I think you'll find that a lot of us do.

Baby steps, New Wench. Take baby steps. Even doctors learn how to take a pulse before delivering CPR on a potential corpse.