View Full Version : need to vent

09-02-2005, 01:31 AM
I'm sorry the past 2 days have caused me great aggravation and worry and I need to vent.

ok well I know things should be all good and wonderful cause I'm going back to school, and they are, but this involves my rogue.
he has a 6 (or 7 I can't remember) year old daughter, he has only seen her once when she was a couple of months old. Her mother took off to Lousiana with her years ago. He pays child support (when they finally connect to his new place of employment). The problem is that if anything were to happen to the girl he more than likely won't be informed, not to mention I don't think the girl even knows he exists. Also as far as I have been told the state may not even know the mother is in another state. He is so worried that his daughter is ok, and there's no way to find out (as far as we know). I feel so useless cause I can't help him in anyway.

thanks to anyone who tok the time to read this.
(and to those who know him please don't tell him about this post)

Morrigan Lynnea
09-02-2005, 03:07 AM
Good thoughts for both of you!

I don't know about state differences, but unless he has legally signed all of his rights away and hasn't made any contact with the mom + daughter (including child support) he still should have the legal right to have contact with his child, or at least with her mother to inquire about the child's well being. There are some family attorneys that will offer services for free to make this happen via paperwork or whatnot. Best of luck to you both.

09-02-2005, 11:53 PM
the problem is he didn't sign away his parental rights, but was never granted any kind of visitation or custody of any form. and he won't go to a lawyer or anything cause he really doesn't have the money.

09-03-2005, 05:46 AM
In Oregon, if you pay one dollar in child support, you have the right to know where the child's mailing address is. If Louisana has a similiar law/rule, he can find out from child support what the mailing address is.( I used a P.O. box for years because of this rule. He could get my address but I couldn't get his. Go figure.) his will give him a starting point at least. Maybe if he contacts the Red Cross, he might be able to find out . Best wishes to both of you.

Pansy Faye
09-03-2005, 02:52 PM
i agree. he has every right to know where his daughter is.

and yes - the red cross is the perfect place to start. i would imagine that if there is any postal information it's probably not accessable right now. but the red cross specializes in this sort of stuff and they'll know how to find her.

no matter what passed between your rogue and his ex- she has no right to keep his daughter from him. especially if he's paying support!! i couldn't even take my daughter over state lines for a vacation without a court signed paper. and he should check out legal services. there are some places that give their service pro-bono. dad's rights are very big in the courts. he should really talk to someone.

09-04-2005, 12:45 AM
all he has to do, is put in a request for visitation. try sending a letter directly to the magestrate or family court.
most likely, he'll be able to request it without the mothers knowledge. as long as he has no poor history.
let us know how it goes. and much luck!!!

Morrigan Lynnea
09-04-2005, 12:55 AM
Still sending positive thoughts for everyone involved!

Lady Laurel
09-06-2005, 07:39 PM
O Jayde I am so sorry about this situation. I have been hearing so much off the same thing in the last week. Go to Red Cross.org. Also there is supposed to be a data base that is being done in Houston to reunite family members. Try calling the Houston Astro dome maybe someone can point yall in the right direction on the database. I so hope yall can find her. There are so many people that have been lost that she may need her dad now. Good luck Keep us updated.

09-11-2005, 02:06 AM
Well we have found out some other interesting info. 1st is that she may not have been in Louisiana at all. His mom told us that the last time she spoke to the mother's ex-husband, she was in Texas, and that she was thinking of sending the girl to him (the ex-hubby) or something like that. that was about 3 years ago. the good news there is that he would let my boyfriend or his family know if she did.
*before it gets confusing.....the mother of his daughter cheated on him with his friend (ok he's no better, he turned around and did the same thing to the both of them with the friend's girlfriend. young and stupid) well the friend and her got married, then divorced.

He has finally however given me permission to help him resolve this problem, using any means I have to gather info.....he doubts they'll grant him any kind of visitation or even custody. at this point he's thinking more along the lines of signing over his rights. His family feels the child is too old for him to try to suddenly become part of her life. I however think they're wrong, but I am completely leaving that final decision up to him.

But he did do one thing that irked the living daylights out of me. One of the girls at my work has dealt with child support in my state extensively regarding her own father and she knows how things worked for him. I told him all the new info I got from her as to what he can and should do. Then, darned if he didn't do this to me....he made up an excuse as to it not working. his excuse? "yeah but I bet they'll say something about that if she is originally from Louisiana then its an exception or they'd probably right a rule up to cover it"

I think that's karmic payback. everytime he used to give me advice or helpful hints as to how I could change my job situation, I would come up with some excuse as to why it wouldn't work.

I'm going to let him simmer the info I gave him though. I don't wanna see him let her walk all over him like this. I mean heck, I finally got off my duff and am working on getting a better job........so there's no reason he can't do this.

09-15-2005, 09:34 PM
my 2 cents...
A child is NEVER too old to know their parents.