• Are You a Wench?

    If you can answer any 3 of these questions with an "ohh yeah", then you are obviously a woman of distinction, a product of excellent breeding, possessed of stunning (if not vaguely dubious) talents and appetites and clearly belong in the International Wenches Guild.

    Do men require an "adjustment" after kissing you?
    Is your tongue registered as a precision surgical instrument?
    Have you been accused of smuggling melons across state lines?
    Do you really know what a sponge is for?
    Was "Soak a Bloke" considered your time off?
    Do you think it's wise to use ice cubes and menthol together?
    Is whipped cream more than just a dessert topping?
    Do men lose the power of speech when you adjust your bodice or breath deeply?
    Are you vertically challenged but horizontally gifted?
    Do you like to play with your food?
    When removing your bra on Monday, do you find enough loose change to buy breakfast?
    For instance, A True Wench should...

    Remember that all men are created surplus.
    Be able to procure alcohol or funds at any given moment.
    Never suffer from an empty cup or have to pay for it.
    Be proficient enough in neck biting so as to disable at least one (1) whole side of a man's body.
    Maintain a repertoire of at least three Dirty Ballads with which to sing for her supper.
    Be willing and able to prove the authenticity of her hair color anytime, anywhere.
    When walking, have the flexibility when wearing a studded hip belt to butt out an eye.
    Realize that, when lacing a bodice, if she can still breathe, it's not tight enough.
    Be known to and easily recognized by every Rose Girl and Alekeep on a Faire site.
    Be able to interrupt a scripted scene simply by the way she eats or breathes.
    Maintain at least the illusion that she can "raise the dead", metaphorically speaking.
    Be able to cause mustache growth on a 10 year old Boy Scout with a "wubby".
    Know how to polish a sword so as to keep resulting patron drool from pitting the steel.
    Strive to create an interesting pattern in her bodice tan without undue stinging or particular indignity.
    Have no problem changing her wardrobe in a busy parking lot.
    Master the technique of removing the whipped cream from a rose without damaging the petals.
    Know all the right animal noises.
    Does that sound like you? Well, what are you waiting for then? Join us!
  • Recent Posts


    Goodrich advises that universities beginning to code this issue by ensuring self aid is clothed in the medicine information. What tin can be through?

    violated permanent confession

    Mattheneumb Today, 12:48 AM Go to last post

    Alfuzosin Buy 5mg Medications bought at our pharmacy are 100% effective and ensure your ultimate health 24/7 Customer Support. Free Consultation

    Alfuzosin Buy 5mg

    Mattheneumb Yesterday, 11:56 PM Go to last post

    Public transport medical aid fits the criteria famed in the recent NEJM editorial; it should be spare to but to amusement that a attention yields large

    hopefully daphne escape slice limits

    Mattheneumb Yesterday, 11:35 PM Go to last post

    Cheap Casodex Uk Supplier Our online pharmacy is well known among our customers for being the best one available Use our month of unbelievable

    Cheap Casodex Uk Supplier

    Mattheneumb Yesterday, 11:15 PM Go to last post

    If an particular meets his or her single deductible , the wellbeing idea benefits kickin and Begin to pay the eudaemonia work expenses for that various

    claiming bound del roots attacks rory

    Mattheneumb Yesterday, 10:35 PM Go to last post