The Most Functional English Word

[Peaches O Malley]

Well, it's shit ... that's right, shit!
Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language.

Consider:
You can get shit-faced, Be shit-out-of-luck, Or have shit for brains.

With a little effort, you can get your shit together, find a place for
your shit, or be asked to shit or get off the pot.

You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget
shit,
and tell others to eat shit.

Some people know their shit, while others can't tell the difference
between shit and shineola.

There are lucky shits, dumb shits, and crazy shits. There is bull shit,
horse shit, and chicken shit.

You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, shoot the shit, or duck
when the shit hits the fan.

You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle.

You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in shit.

Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit,
and some days are just plain shitty.

Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there are
times when you feel like shit.

You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the wrong
shit or a lot of weird shit.

You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit
creek without a paddle.

Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times you fall in
a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose.


When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block
of the English language.

And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything
else!!

You could pass this along, if you give a shit; or not do so if you don't
give a shit!

Well, Shit, it's time for me to go. Just wanted you to know that I do
give a shit and hope you had a nice day, without a bunch of shit. But,
if you happened to catch a load of shit from some shit-head...........
Well, Shit Happens!!!

[Buxom Wench]

How many times do I have to keep tellin' you people? :irked:

WARNING LABELS -- PLEASE!!

:snarf: :snarf: :snarf: :snarf: :snarf:
how true it is, though.

[Peaches O Malley]

How many times do I have to keep tellin' you people? :irked:

WARNING LABELS -- PLEASE!!

:snarf: :snarf: :snarf: :snarf: :snarf:
how true it is, though.


Sorry Bux!! *rotfl*

[Gemdrite]

On a similar note....http://www.funnypics.cc/media/history_of_the_f-word.php

NOT WORKSAFE IN THE SLIGHTEST.

[Jayde]

Both are hilarious! I needed a good laugh...*rotfl*

[townspaniard]

Everybody knows shit happens...

Taoism- “if you understand shit, it isn’t shit”
Hinduism- “this shit happened before”
Confucianism- “Confucious says ‘shit happens’”
Buddhism- “shit will happen to you again”
Zen- “what is the sound of shit happening?”
Islam- “if shit happens it is the will of Allah”
Sikhism- “leave our shit alone”
Jehova’s witness- “knock knock. Shit happens.”
Atheism- “I don’t believe this shit”
Agnosticism- “can you prove that shit happens?”
Catholicism- “if shit happens, you deserve it”
Protestantism- “shit happens, amen to that”
Judaism-“why does shit always happen to us?”
Orthodox Judaism- “so shit happens, already”
Televangelism- “send money or shit will happen to you”
Rastafarianism-“let’s smoke this shit”
Hare Krishna-“shit happens rama rama”
Nation of islam- “don’t take no shit”
New age- “visualize shit happening
Shintoism-“you inherit the shit of your ancestors”
Hedonism-“I love it when shit happens”
Satism-“sneppah this”
Capitalism-“this is MY shit”
Feminism- “men are shit”
Existentialism-“what is shit, anyway?”
Scientology-“if shit happens, see Dianetics p. 137
Mormonism-“excrement happens”(don’t say shit)
Baptism- “we’ll wash the shit right out of you”
Mysticism-“this is really weird shit”
Voodoo-“shit doesn’t just happen-we made it happen”
Disneyism-“bad shit doesn’t happen here”
Wicca- “you can make shit happen but shit will happen to you three times”
Communism-“lets share the shit”
Marxism- “you have nothing to lose but your shit”
Conspiracy theorism-“THEY shit on us!”
Psycho-analysis-“tell me about your shit”
Darwinism- “survival of the shittiest”
Amish- “modern shit is useless”
Suicidal-“I’ve had enough of this shit”
Optimism-“shit won’t happen to me”
Trekism- “to boldly shit where no one has shit before”
Shakespearean- “to shit or not to shit, that is the question”
Descartes-“I shit therefore I am”
Freud-“shit is a phallic symbol”
Lawyers-“for enough money, I can get you out of shit”
Acupuncturist-“hold still or this will hurt like shit”
Dog-“ I just shit in your shoe”
Cat- “dogs are shit”
Mouse-“oh shit! A cat!”
Politically correct- “ internally processed, nutritionally-drained biological output happens”
Einstein-“shit is relative”
Family gathering-“relatives are shit”
Materialism-whoever dies with the most shit, wins”
Vegetarianism- “if it happens to shit, don’t eat it”
Fatalism-“oh shit, it’s going to happen”
Environmentalism- “shit is biodegradable”
Americanism-“who gives a shit?”
Statistician-“shit is 84.7ikely to happen”
Hip-hop-“motherfuck this shiznit, beeatch!”
Tantrism-“fuck this shit”
Cynicism- “we are all full of shit”
Surrealism-“fish happens”

[Peaches O Malley]

Everybody knows shit happens...

Taoism- “if you understand shit, it isn’t shit”
Hinduism- “this shit happened before”
Confucianism- “Confucious says ‘shit happens’”
Buddhism- “shit will happen to you again”
Zen- “what is the sound of shit happening?”
Islam- “if shit happens it is the will of Allah”
Sikhism- “leave our shit alone”
Jehova’s witness- “knock knock. Shit happens.”
Atheism- “I don’t believe this shit”
Agnosticism- “can you prove that shit happens?”
Catholicism- “if shit happens, you deserve it”
Protestantism- “shit happens, amen to that”
Judaism-“why does shit always happen to us?”
Orthodox Judaism- “so shit happens, already”
Televangelism- “send money or shit will happen to you”
Rastafarianism-“let’s smoke this shit”
Hare Krishna-“shit happens rama rama”
Nation of islam- “don’t take no shit”
New age- “visualize shit happening
Shintoism-“you inherit the shit of your ancestors”
Hedonism-“I love it when shit happens”
Satism-“sneppah this”
Capitalism-“this is MY shit”
Feminism- “men are shit”
Existentialism-“what is shit, anyway?”
Scientology-“if shit happens, see Dianetics p. 137
Mormonism-“excrement happens”(don’t say shit)
Baptism- “we’ll wash the shit right out of you”
Mysticism-“this is really weird shit”
Voodoo-“shit doesn’t just happen-we made it happen”
Disneyism-“bad shit doesn’t happen here”
Wicca- “you can make shit happen but shit will happen to you three times”
Communism-“lets share the shit”
Marxism- “you have nothing to lose but your shit”
Conspiracy theorism-“THEY shit on us!”
Psycho-analysis-“tell me about your shit”
Darwinism- “survival of the shittiest”
Amish- “modern shit is useless”
Suicidal-“I’ve had enough of this shit”
Optimism-“shit won’t happen to me”
Trekism- “to boldly shit where no one has shit before”
Shakespearean- “to shit or not to shit, that is the question”
Descartes-“I shit therefore I am”
Freud-“shit is a phallic symbol”
Lawyers-“for enough money, I can get you out of shit”
Acupuncturist-“hold still or this will hurt like shit”
Dog-“ I just shit in your shoe”
Cat- “dogs are shit”
Mouse-“oh shit! A cat!”
Politically correct- “ internally processed, nutritionally-drained biological output happens”
Einstein-“shit is relative”
Family gathering-“relatives are shit”
Materialism-whoever dies with the most shit, wins”
Vegetarianism- “if it happens to shit, don’t eat it”
Fatalism-“oh shit, it’s going to happen”
Environmentalism- “shit is biodegradable”
Americanism-“who gives a shit?”
Statistician-“shit is 84.7ikely to happen”
Hip-hop-“motherfuck this shiznit, beeatch!”
Tantrism-“fuck this shit”
Cynicism- “we are all full of shit”
Surrealism-“fish happens”


LMFAO!!!! Thanks!