Stupid state laws...

[Peaches O Malley]

Pick your state.;-)

http://www.justafreak.com/law/index.shtml

Arizona:

Hunting camels is prohibited. What camels??
Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony. Black is ok??
There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus.
Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs. Huh?
A class 2 misdemeanor occurs if one places a mark upon a flag which is "likely to provoke physical retaliation".
It is illegal to manufacture imitation cocaine. We would rather you manufacture the REAL stuff...Doh!
When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person posseses. Oookay??
It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water. yep
You may not have more than two dildos in a house. ::whistle::

[Buxom Wench]

ummm.....Peaches?

<snip>
Hunting camels is prohibited. What camels??
<snip>

Himself owns a camel and her name is Josie.

[Peaches O Malley]

ummm.....Peaches?

<snip>
Hunting camels is prohibited. What camels??
<snip>

Himself owns a camel and her name is Josie.

*snort* I stand corrected. :wink:

[Capt. Stamina]

I wonder if that camel law had anything to do with the Army? Way back when, the Army did run an experiment and set up a cavalry unit with camels, since camels were consuming less water than horses, when out on patrol .

[Alchemist23]

Some for Ohio:


It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday. (where in the whole are we gonna find whales? Lake Eerie???)

It is illegal to get a fish drunk. (Oh shit, maybe I shouldn't have filmed that party)

The Ohio driver's education manual states that you must honk the horn
whenever you pass another car. (This is true, I read it, and I thought, my god, you've got to be kidding.)

Participating or conducting a duel is prohibited.

Breast feeding is not allowed in public. (I think they overturned this one.)

It is illegal for more than five women to live in a house. (Witches!)

It is illegal to mistreat anything of great importance. (could you get any more vague?)


Oh, and apparently, in one county Catch 22 is prohibited. In another, women cannot wear patent leather shoes because a man could see up her skirt. *snort*

[Margaret]

State Laws

* A woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission.

* There is a 10 cent bounty for each rat's head brought into a town office.

* It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house. Thank God for that one...

* You may not swear in front of women and children. (Repealed)

* Any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long as he/she has not been convicted of a felony This is the state where Detroit's motto is: Where the weak are killed and eaten. 12 year olds with felonies are not unheard of

* It is illegal to kill a dog using a decompression chamber. pssst. Tell the folks in Saginaw about "stuff not to do with dead animals...


Local Laws

Clawson

* There is a law that makes it legal for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens. Good thing there isn't that law in Saginaw....

Detroit

* Couples are banned from making love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple's own property.

* Willfully destroying your old radio is prohibited.

* It is illegal for a man to scowl at his wife on Sunday

* It is illegal to let your pig run free in Detroit unless it has a ring in its nose. According to history and animal husbandry, it prevents them from "rooting" in the ground for their food.

* Security guards at Joe Louis Arena will confiscate any item they feel might be thrown onto the ice. Furthermore, any person seen throwing an octopus onto the ice at a Red Wings game will be taken to jail. Yep - people will toss an octopus on to the ice. Back in the day the Stanley Cup took the best of 8 games to win. See, it makes sense! Let's Go Red Wings!!

Grand Haven

* No person shall throw an abandoned hoop skirt into any street or on any sidewalk, under penalty of a five- dollar fine for each offense. Eesh. I wondered why Katie kept asking for a fiver. Keep your farthingales on girl!

Harper Woods

* It is illegal to paint sparrows to sell them as parakeets.

Kalamazoo

* It is against the law to serenade your girlfriend.

Rochester

* All bathing suits must have been inspected by the head of police.

Soo

* Smoking while in bed is illegal.

Wayland

* Anyone can keep their cow on Main Street downtown at a cost of 3 cents per day.

[Peaches O Malley]

Some for Ohio:



It is illegal for more than five women to live in a house. (Witches!)



Niiice! Here in Maricopa County:

No more than six girls may live in any house. (Repealed)

[renstyles]

Some Oregon Laws:

Dishes must drip dry. - And how many of us in Oregon are breaking this law on a daily basis
It is illegal to whisper "dirty" things in your lover's ear during sex.
Ice cream may not be eaten on Sundays. - Yeah right, don't you mess with my ice cream
It is illegal to buy or sell marijuana, but it is legal to smoke it on your own property. - Think someone could use this in court. "But I was smoking it in my own yard"
One may not bathe without wearing "suitable clothing," i.e., that which covers one's body from neck to knee. - wha?

[Pansy Faye]

CT's stupid laws:

You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour. now if i could pedal that fast i'd be an olympic medalist
In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle, it must bounce. and does this mean i can throw all the pickle jars on the floor to make sure they are real pickles?
It is illegal to dispose of used razor blades. how are you supposed to get rid of them?
You cannot buy any alcohol after 8pm or on Sundays. that's a usual occurence at y house
It is illegal to discharge a firearm from a public highway. so how are you supposed to do a drive by? witha sling shot?
Town records may not be kept where liquor is sold. i'm not sure we have town records. no one knows anything in my town.


I'll say this Peaches and Bux, we don't have camels here, but someone in town has a pet kangaroo! i saw it when escaped from it's pen. I heard on the radio that a joey was loose in town and to keep on the lookout. I laughed then almost choked as it hoped across RTE 123 in front of my car and went into the cemetary. Can honestly say i went home and had few drinks that night.

[Margaret]

It is illegal to manufacture imitation cocaine. We would rather you manufacture the REAL stuff...Doh!

* It is illegal to paint sparrows to sell them as parakeets.



Hey Peaches! I'll sell you this spar *er* Parakeet! Or better yet, why don't you trade me some of that coke you got there....

[Peaches O Malley]

Hey Peaches! I'll sell you this spar *er* Parakeet! Or better yet, why don't you trade me some of that coke you got there....

Hmmm, there's something not quite right about that Parakeet! :wink:

[Margaret]

Hmmm, there's something not quite right about that Parakeet! :wink:


Ees just molting. Norwegian Blues molt like that...

[guenwyvar]

It is contrary to Pennsylvania law to discharge a gun, cannon, revolver or other explosive weapon at a wedding. what about at a shotgun wedding??? snicker snicker

It is illegal to have over 16 women live in a house together because that constitutes a brothel. However up to 120 men can live together, without breaking the law.

It it illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors.

Any motorist driving along a country road at night must stop every mile and send up a rocket signal, wait 10 minutes for the road to be cleared of livestock, and continue.

A special cleaning ordinance bans housewives from hiding dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling. so much for my cleaning skills LOL

You may not sing in the bathtub.

Fireworks stores may not sell fireworks to Pennsylvania residents.

A person is not eligible to become Governor if he/she has participated in a duel.

Any motorist who sights a team of horses coming toward him must pull well off the road, cover his car with a blanket or canvas that blends with the countryside, and let the horses pass. If the horses appear skittish, the motorist must take his car apart, piece by piece, and hide it under the nearest bushes. wtf?????

Ministers are forbidden from performing marriages when either the bride or groom is drunk. what about if your still hungover from the bachelor/bachelorette party the night before?

No more than two packages of beer at a time may be purchased, unless you are buying from an official "beer distributor".

All liquor stores must be run by the state.

Motorized vehicles are not to be sold on Sundays.

You may not catch a fish with your hands.

You may not catch a fish by any body part except the mouth.

Dynamite is not to be used to catch fish.

Though you do not need a fishing license to fish on your own land, but a hunting license is required to hunt on your own land.

[SilverMirth]

Maine

Shotguns are required to be taken to church in the event of a Native American attack. Hmmm is this an issue?
You may not step out of a plane in flight. Gee ya think?
After January 14th you will be charged a fine for having your Christmas decorations still up. thank goodness because I hate seeing Rudolph in June.

Augusta
To stroll down the street playing a violin is against the law. No orchestra in the annual parade then.
Biddeford
It is illegal to gamble at the airport. Man I was hoping to be able to upgrade my ticketEllsworth
If any part of the sign ordinances of the city are more stringent than federal laws, even though they may be in conflict with them, they will prevail. Portland
Shoelaces must be tied while walking down the street. No! I want to be able to step on them and trip people!
South Berwick
It is illegal to park in front of Dunkin Donuts. Yeah can't take up all the parking along the roads. Maine seems to have a lot of DDWells
Deer may not be fed. Yup no fattening them up before deer season.
Advertisements may not be placed in cemeteries. Uhhhh .... nope not going there.

[rosefaeries]

Some Oregon Laws:
Ice cream may not be eaten on Sundays. - Yeah right, don't you mess with my ice cream


When Savantag still lived in Eugene, we would frequently break the law by eating ice cream while watching movies. (Yes it is illegal to watch movies on sundays in Eugene Oregon.)

[SilverMirth]

These are laws I had to deal with growing up.

INDIANA:
· Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March. EWWWWW!!!
· Oral sex is illegal. Uh Oh!
· It is against the law to pass a horse on the street. Where would you like us to pass them?
· It is illegal for a liquor store to sell cold soft drinks.
· Liquor stores may not sell milk.
· Grocery stores may not sell any type of cold liquor.
· You can get out of paying for a dependent's medical care by praying for him/her. Hmmm, tis giving me ideas.

This one is on honor of your new avatar Bux!
· Check forgery can be punished with public flogging up to 100 stripes.

· Pedestrians crossing the highway at night are prohibited from wearing tail lights. HUH?
· Drinks on the house are illegal. WTF?
· "Spiteful Gossip" and "talking behind a person's back" are illegal.
· All males 18 to 50 years old must work six days a year on public roads.
· Mustaches are illegal if the bearer has a tendency to habitually kiss other humans. But..but.. no ticklers!?!?!
· If any person has a puppet show, wire dancing or tumbling act in the state of Indiana and receives money for it, they will be fined $3 under the Act to Prevent Certain Immoral Practices. I always knew that those puppets were up to no good!
· Anyone 14 or older who profanely curses, damns or swears by the name of God, Jesus Christ or the Holy Ghost, shall be fined one to three dollars for each offense, with a maximum fine of ten dollars per day.
· A three dollar fine per pack will be imposed on anyone playing cards in Indiana under the Act for the Prevention of Gaming.
· The value of Pi is 4, and not 3.1415. Is this part of that funny new math?
· It is illegal for a man to be sexually aroused in public.

[Buxom Wench]

This one is on honor of your new avatar Bux!
· Check forgery can be punished with public flogging up to 100 stripes.


I *KNEW* there was a reason I always carry my flogger! ::wicked::

New York
State Law

A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.

It is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun. all those years of dodge ball we were juvenile delinquents!
A license must be purchased before hanging clothes on a clothesline. uh oh.... Grandma's in real trouble now!
The penalty for jumping off a building is death. even the backyard garden shed?!?!?! eesh! seems a twisted ankle is enough punishment to me.

New Yorkers cannot dissolve a marriage for irreconcilable differences, unless they both agree to it. That rarely happens, since one party regularly says "no" to the other, or there wouldn't be a reason to dissolve the marriage. If one of the spouses says "no" to the divorce, the other party has to prove that the spouse saying "no" was at fault. Fault could be one of four terrible things. If the spouse has abandoned the other spouse, that is, left the house for a year or if there hasn't been sexual relations for a year (how do you prove that?). Another one of the four terrible things, an oft cited fault, is to assert that the spouse has treated the other spouse with physical or mental cruelty. This is usually the case in most deteriorating marriages, but for the court's purposes, yelling and screaming is not usually enough; pictures of bruises taken in the emergency room might suffice. Divorce will be easy if the spouse has been imprisoned for two or three years. Much more difficult is the last fault, adultery. This keeps a lot of private detectives in business, since lipstick on the collar is not proof. It also means that lawyers get paid to "prove" fault, or on the other side, to show how lame the opposing side's "fault" claim is. no sex for a year?!?!?! who the hell is going to admit to THAT?!?!?
A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his/her pocket. hmmm, but I like having drippy creamy stuff in my pocket :wink:

While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands while looking toward the door. ummm, yeah, sure, whatever. :mmph:
Slippers are not to be worn after 10:00 P.M. but...but...its frellin COLD!

Local Law

Carmel

A man can't go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match. no golfing for lawyers then ::whistle::
Greene

During a concert, it is illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on the sidewalks. how about walk and chew gum at the same time?
New York

Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business.YEAH!!! although I've been doing this since I was 16. ::whistle::

You may not smoke within 100 feet of the entrance to a public building. if that's so, why are there ashtrays near the front doors?!?! :unamused:

It is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing "body hugging clothing." pppffftttttt!:pfft:
Citizens may not greet each other by "putting one's thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers". OH MAN!! Sorry everyone, I guess they found out about our secret greeting to each other.
Ocean City

It is illegal for men to go topless in the center of town. bummer!
It is illegal to eat in the street in residential neighborhoods, and the only beverage you can drink on the beach is water in a clear plastic bottle. don't even wanna know why. Sag Harbor

It is illegal to disrobe in a wagon. good thing I have a sedan then. :wink:
If one wishes to bathe in the city limits, they must be clothed in a "suitable bathing suit".
Staten Island

It is illegal for a father to call his son a "faggot" or "queer" in an effort to curb "girlie behavior."
You may only water your lawn if the hose is held in your hand. :mmph: :mmph: :mmph: :mmph: :mmph: ::wicked::

[DoñaNina]

Maryland state law states that...

Oral sex can not be given or received anywhere.

...

WHAT?!?!?!??!

[Buxom Wench]

Maryland state law states that...

Oral sex can not be given or received anywhere.

...

WHAT?!?!?!??!


meh...... PURITANS!!

[Elle_Jones]

State Laws from My dear old home of Florida (some with brief explanations)....

* Unmarried couples may not commit "lewd acts" and live together in the same residence. (But it's okay if you live next door. This one got brought about by disgruntled parents.)

*Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner. (Better then suing the salon for having all your hair burned off by the dryer.)

*A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing. (This law actually refers to divorced women in Sun City Center one of our largest retirement communities. It was enacted by the church going wives of parachuting husbands to keep them from getting a nice view on the way down.)

*If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle. (Ringling Brothers need I say more.)

*Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown. (This is a Miami law that is broken on South Beach every day and night.)

* Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal. (Yeah....)

* It is illegal to skateboard without a license.

* You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.

*You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers. (Hotel and Restaurant Industry law for dishwashers creating a firing rule.)

*You may not kiss your wife's breasts. (This one just makes me all kinds of sad.)

[DoñaNina]

*You may not kiss your wife's breasts. (This one just makes me all kinds of sad.)

But how will they know he cares?

[eeyore]

My current state of MN, where I seem to break a few laws.

The land of 10,000 lakes declares mosquitos a public nuisance. - duh

A person may not cross state lines with a duck atop his head.

It is illegal to sleep naked. - oops, well....

All men driving motorcycles must wear shirts.

Citizens may not enter Wisconsin with a chicken on their head. - what is it with fowl on heads here?

All bathtubs must have feet. - who knew? Can we sue the builder for not following state law?


Minnetonka
Driving a truck with dirty tires is considered a public nuisance. - guess I need to call the rogue. He'll be driving through Minnetonka on his way home tonight. Truck is filthy.

Virginia
You're not allowed to park your elephant on Main Street. - but the side streets are too narrow!!