DangerousCurves
03-01-2008, 10:07 AM
I thought this was too cute even if you aren't Christian:
FORREST
GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN
The
day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at
the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are
closed, and Forrest approaches the
gatekeeper.
St.
Peter said, "Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have
heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is
filling up fast, and we have been ministering an entrance
examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it
before you can get into
Heaven."
Forrest responds, "It sure is
good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any
entrance exam. I sure hope that the test ain't too hard. Life was a
big enough test as it
was."
St.
Peter continued, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three
questions.
First: What two days of the
week begin with the letter
T?
Second: How many seconds are
there in a year?
Third: What is God's first
name?"
Forrest leaves to think the
questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who
waves him up, and says, "Now that you have had a chance to think the
questions over, tell me your
answers."
Forrest replied, "Well, the
first one -- which two days in the week begins with the letter "T"?
Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow."
The
Saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, "Forrest, that is not
what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I did not
specify, so I will give you credit for that
answer.
How
about the next one?" asked St. Peter.
"How many seconds in a
year? Now that one is harder," replied Forrest, but I thunk and
thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be
twelve."
Astounded, St. Peter said, "Twelve? Twelve? Forrest,
how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a
year?"
Forrest replied, "Shucks, there's got to be
twelve:
January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd.... " "Hold it,"
interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you are going with this, and I
see your point, though that was not quite what I had in mind.....but
I will have to give you credit for that one, too.
Let us go on
with the third and final question. Can you tell me God's first
name"?
"Sure," Forrest replied, "it's Andy."
"Andy?"
exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St Peter.
"Ok, I can
understand how you came up with your answers to my first two
questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name
Andy as the first name of God?"
"Shucks, that was the easiest
one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt it from the
song
"ANDY
WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME,
ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN. .
. "
St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said:
"Run Forrest, run."
FORREST
GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN
The
day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at
the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are
closed, and Forrest approaches the
gatekeeper.
St.
Peter said, "Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have
heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is
filling up fast, and we have been ministering an entrance
examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it
before you can get into
Heaven."
Forrest responds, "It sure is
good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any
entrance exam. I sure hope that the test ain't too hard. Life was a
big enough test as it
was."
St.
Peter continued, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three
questions.
First: What two days of the
week begin with the letter
T?
Second: How many seconds are
there in a year?
Third: What is God's first
name?"
Forrest leaves to think the
questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who
waves him up, and says, "Now that you have had a chance to think the
questions over, tell me your
answers."
Forrest replied, "Well, the
first one -- which two days in the week begins with the letter "T"?
Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow."
The
Saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, "Forrest, that is not
what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I did not
specify, so I will give you credit for that
answer.
How
about the next one?" asked St. Peter.
"How many seconds in a
year? Now that one is harder," replied Forrest, but I thunk and
thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be
twelve."
Astounded, St. Peter said, "Twelve? Twelve? Forrest,
how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a
year?"
Forrest replied, "Shucks, there's got to be
twelve:
January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd.... " "Hold it,"
interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you are going with this, and I
see your point, though that was not quite what I had in mind.....but
I will have to give you credit for that one, too.
Let us go on
with the third and final question. Can you tell me God's first
name"?
"Sure," Forrest replied, "it's Andy."
"Andy?"
exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St Peter.
"Ok, I can
understand how you came up with your answers to my first two
questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name
Andy as the first name of God?"
"Shucks, that was the easiest
one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt it from the
song
"ANDY
WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME,
ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN. .
. "
St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said:
"Run Forrest, run."