Body disassociation disorder

[DoñaNina]

So, I think I might have a problem. Or not. I'm not exactly sure.

See, I used to be obese. I was 180lbs at 5'1". I lost 50lbs and was down to 130, a weight I never thought I'd be at. Well at 130 I wasn't happy still, so a few months ago I decided to lose more weight and try to be 125. Well I got down to 127 and thought, hey, I'm not close enough to where I wanna be. Maybe I should be 120. Now I'm 125 and I want to be 115. My therapist said he wants me to stop at 120 but I don't think I can. I want to be 115. I'm not doing it in an unhealthy way or anything, all I do is diet and exersize. But I've become very militant, and I'm still really unhappy with my body. So much I still can't wear shorts because embarassed about my fat thighs and stomach.

Well I have this friend who's body I adore. I always wanted to look like her. So I wanted to gauge my weight loss on her, get down to her size, and I thought if I did I'd be happy.

It turns out, as of right now, I am her size. But I STILL feel like she's 100 times thinner than I am. She wears clothes I would never imagine wearing and looks great. I wouldn't dare wear what she wears, even though we're the same size, and apparently, I even weigh less.

I'm 5'1" so being around 115 is supposed to be a healthy weight for me. I'm not worried that I'm going to do something seriously unhealthy. I'm worried that I have a real problem and that I'll never ever be able to be happy with myself. I mean, if I can't be happy with the way I look now, at the same weight and size as someone I admired, when will I be happy?

[Artemisia]

Sweetheart, this has nothing to do with your weight and everything to do with the way you see yourself. You're using weight as a way to avoid the true issue.

I'm glad you're seeing a therapist. Listen to him. If he thinks you should stop at 120, then do so for now.

What kind of therapist is it, physical or mental? Bluntly, I think you should have both.

I've been where you are now. I had both a physical and mental therapist. They watched my weight while I worked on my personal issues and they helped me tremendously. I also didn't lose the weight (140 to 104 lbs) in an unhealthy way, just in an obsessed way. And that's not good.

It took a few years to get over my issues. I still get annoyed at my weight sometimes but it's purely for health reasons.

Listen to your therapist and get to the root of your issues. Only then will you feel better about yourself.

'Cause I think you are beautiful - inside and out!

[DoñaNina]

Thanks a lot, and yeah he's a mental therapist. I just want to be able to wear a swimsuit one day and not have people laugh at me. Last time I wore a swimsuit to the beach, some kids were making fun of me and I wanted to die.

[Buxom Wench]

Don't worry about how other people see you.
As long as you can be happy with yourself, that's the only person you need to please.

I have issues with my body. I'm sure most of us do.

Too fat. Too skinny.
Too tall. Too short.
Big boobs. No boobs.
You name it, we all have issues with how we look.

I will never be a size 10 again. Been there, done that and to me, I looked gaunt and sickly.
Right now, I flucuate (sp?) between 14-18, depending on clothes.
Yeah, I'd like to be a bit less heavy but, my size is ok with me.
Some people look at me and snicker, make comments and whathaveyou.
THOSE are the ignorant, mean spirited people I try to avoid.
Those that like how I look, that's just a bonus for me.
As long as I'm happy with me, the rest of the world can go hang.

[SilverMirth]

Last time I wore a swimsuit to the beach, some kids were making fun of me and I wanted to die.

Ok you need this ::bighug::.

a) kids of any age are down right self absorbed and can be cruel if a person doesn't look like the current spaghetti noodle "IT" girl from Hollywood so ignore them. Yes, talking from personal experience, this is extremely hard to do when you have image issues. It always seems easier to believe the bad and negative because it doesn't require anything on our part but to believe the good takes faith, hope and courage. YOU have that you just have to find it in yourself

b) you are fa-boo-lus. you just have to believe it yourself and that will take work.

c) you have taken a HUGE step by acknowledging that there is an issue and by seeking help. find a positive support system - the ladies here, friends, family, etc who will be there for you when you are having the rough times

d) really use the times you are with the therapist to explore the reasons the are under the obvious. the Whys and whatfores that made you become obessessed with the weight issues. find out about you as the whole wonderful being that you are

e) I close with this .... You are loved and treasured for bright and witty and talented person you are. Bring the love within yourself and let it help heal your soul.

I don't know if this has helped any but I do know that I believe you can come through this happier, healthier and whole.

[surlywench]

Dona, if your therapist AND your doctor are telling you to stop, then STOP. If you *aren't* seeing a doctor, then you need to start. At the very least, the Dr. would be able to help the therapist watch and manage your weight, while the therapist helps you with the headspace issues.

You're on the cusp of having a serious problem, but you've got enough sense to see it creeping up on you, and you have a therapist who needs to be made aware that you want to go "thinner" if they don't already know.


Loosing more weight isn't a magic bullet. Unless you address the internal issues driving the weight loss, and WHY your body image is messed up, all it will do is spiral down until you've hit anorexia and worse.

Also, if you have a fashion savvy friend, hit them up to go shopping with you and see if they can help you find clothes that actually FIT and FLATTER your figure. often times we see ourselves differently when we try on clothes that we ourselves would NEVER have picked off the rack or don't "think we can wear", and most of the time, people are unaware of how clothes are *supposed* to fit - so they wear them too small, or too big - neither of which is a flattering look!

So listen to your therapist, and stop when you're asked to. If you *can't*, then that's a huuuuuge sign that you need more intensive help b/c at that point it's become a genuine disorder rather than "i want to do this to be healthy".

[Ravin' Raven]

Oh sweety I can so relate. I'm going to be blunt here. I'm 5'2 and weigh in at around 111. The most I've ever weighed was like 117 so I've never been overweight in anybody's book so that part I can not relate to. But I'm telling you when I look in the mirror I see saggy and dumpy. I played a game once with my former husband who did not understand why I didn't want to wear uber minis. When we were in the mall I found the woman who most closely resembled what I felt I looked like from behind. When I did he just stared at me and said that her one ass cheek was the size of my entire ass. But the point is that's what I saw in the mirror!

Just this weekend I left a store nearly in tears because I tried on an above the knee fairly tight fitting skirt. He LOVED it - I was horrified and he just could not understand my horrified reaction when all he was doing was standing there telling me how hot I was and I was nearly in tears. I thought it showed every lump bump and bulge and made by 43 year old self look ridiculous (as my mother always said - never be a mutton dressed as lamb). Ya know what there was a woman trying on a similar skirt and I know she was six to seven sizes larger and she looked in the mirror and absolutely beamed! I am so jealous of real sized women and even larger women who have the self confidence that I only wish I had.

It's not about size - it's about our self perceptions - and you are doing the right thing by realizing that and working on it. It's not going to change overnight but begin by accepting the things people have to say about you (which I know can be hard). So I'm going to tell you - you are beautiful and sexy and amazing. Now, hear that and don't even respond with all of the no, no, no that popped into your head....

Let us all know how you are doing and know that we will all support you! (Especially your dinky, short little sisters!)

[DoñaNina]

Let us all know how you are doing and know that we will all support you! (Especially your dinky, short little sisters!)

XD I like how you say that, and I am shorter than you! *bonk!*

I'm starting to realize that this might be a self esteem issue. I've never been thin before, and I guess when I look in the mirror I still see fat. My guitarist always asks me to dress "sluttier" for our shows but I always feel as if when I do, I just look huge. I don't know how to wrap my brain around the concept that I might just be okay.

[Ravin' Raven]

XD I like how you say that, and I am shorter than you! *bonk!*

I'm starting to realize that this might be a self esteem issue. I've never been thin before, and I guess when I look in the mirror I still see fat. My guitarist always asks me to dress "sluttier" for our shows but I always feel as if when I do, I just look huge. I don't know how to wrap my brain around the concept that I might just be okay.

We'll work on it together.

Cus ya know what I AM DAMN HOT - especially for an old bag! And if you are playing on stage you NEED to have some sexy lace up black leather pants - at your size you'd be amazing in something like that!

(and yes, a bit taller though Hawkins insists I exaggerate and I'm only five foot squat - I swear I really am 5'2"! - and most of my sister PARF wenches are taller than I - when Artie comes to visit though, then I feel tall!)

[Buxom Wench]

Cus ya know what I AM DAMN HOT - especially for an old bag!

Yes Sweetie, you ARE hot!

Now I do have issue with this "old bag" shite! :shame:

[Mistress_Autumn]

I know the feeling, hun. I'm 6 feet tall... and weigh a whopping 155 pounds. I know that I'm thin-ish. I know that I look good. But all I see when I look in the mirror is "plain" and "slightly chunky".

Forrest doesn't understand how I can look at myself and not see how "hot" I am... but it just doesn't look that way to me.

That doesn't mean that I hate the way I look. I'm happy that I can fit into a size 10. I'm amazed that I actually have a D-cup (even though I need a bra or they hit my tummy). I adore the fact that I can bleach my hair 6 times a year, go through 8 or 9 different colors in the same time frame, and not have a ton of split ends or broken hair.

It just means that I don't think I'm model material, despite what other people say.

The way I look at it, I'm doing damn good for a woman with four kids and that's good enough for me. Anyone who thinks I'm "too fat" or "too tall" or "too thin" or "too strange", well... They can all get bent.

Here's a ::bighug::and a :smooch: for you. You're an awesome woman.

[Ravin' Raven]

Yes Sweetie, you ARE hot!

Now I do have issue with this "old bag" shite! :shame:

::hug::::flowers: Okay maybe not an old bag....slightly middle aged bag?::runfore:

[Buxom Wench]

::hug::::flowers: Okay maybe not an old bag....slightly middle aged bag?::runfore:

WOMAN! :whip:

[surlywench]

::hug::::flowers: Okay maybe not an old bag....slightly middle aged bag?::runfore:

You are 32.


Don't ask. just accept.

32.

[Ravin' Raven]

You are 32.


Don't ask. just accept.

32.
**chants**
I am 32. I am 32. I am 32.

(wow that's kinda flat - actually I'm 35, 26, 35 - oh wrong numbers - sorry!!!)

Buxie ** kiss kiss ** (just feelin' my age and then some today....)

[Lady Hefron]

Oh wow can I relate. I used to be well over 400lbs. I now hover around 200, sometimes over, sometimes under(not enough under). I'm 5'7". On a good day I like the way I look (except for the hanging skin on my thighs, butt, arms and the scars on my tummy and brand new ones on my knees). On bad days...well let's just say that I still see over 400lbs.

Ok, so I guess my point is that most of us aren't perfect. Even if I didn't have the hanging skin I would have the scars from the surgery to remove it.

I just have to try to see myself through my Beloved's eyes (oh how I wish I could all the time).

[DoñaNina]

I just have to try to see myself through my Beloved's eyes (oh how I wish I could all the time).

I wish I could do that. To him I'm perfect. He doesn't even WANT me to lose weight.

[Buxom Wench]

I wish I could do that. To him I'm perfect. He doesn't even WANT me to lose weight.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
You need to behold yourself a beauty. ::hug::

[Ravin' Raven]

I agree with Bux. Quite honestly, from your avatar I've always thought you were amazingly exotically beautiful!

Maybe we should all learn to see ourselves the way our beloveds see us. Mine says the most amazing things to me and while I smile and thank him in the back of my head I'm always doubting - just a little.....

[Buxom Wench]

I agree with Bux. Quite honestly, from your avatar I've always thought you were amazingly exotically beautiful!

Maybe we should all learn to see ourselves the way our beloveds see us. Mine says the most amazing things to me and while I smile and thank him in the back of my head I'm always doubting - just a little.....

*bolding mine

The bad stuff is easier to believe.
It's hard to forget it all and believe only the good but,
in time you learn to do just that.

Here's to all the beautiful people!

[Ravin' Raven]

*bolding mine

The bad stuff is easier to believe.
It's hard to forget it all and believe only the good but,
in time you learn to do just that.

Here's to all the beautiful people!

::clappin:

[Torra]

I know this is a really hard thing to feel. I've felt it, and I'm 5'6" and 108 lb. But most of the time, I just try not to think about what I'd change.

Talking it over with your therapist is a good suggestion. But besides that, remind yourself every day something that you can do that makes you happy. It doesn't have to be related to physical appearance, necessarily. It could be something like, "Playing with the [pet]" or "pillow fights". Generally I've found that when I'm thinking about achievements or things I do that I enjoy I don't worry about how I look while doing it.

[LadyLaura]

*sigh* When I was in college, I worked out and dieted obsessively, trying to have the *perfect* body. I'm sure I looked great, but I never thought so, and didn't have any confidence. Now that I'm older, I weigh more, I don't exercise nearly as much, but I think I've finally gotten to a good weight for me. And the real difference is that I've got the confidence and self-assurance that I lacked when I was younger. I think the total package is much better than ever, but honestly, I didn't start getting there mentally until my mid-30's! It's like some switch went off and I started caring less and less about what others thought and about being *perfect* and just started being me.

Edited to add: I've weighed everything from 92 pounds at high school graduation to 150 pounds a few years ago, and have now settled in at 125. Oh, and I'm 5' 3".

[DoñaNina]

I know this is a really hard thing to feel. I've felt it, and I'm 5'6" and 108 lb.

Oy. I'm so jealous.

[KissMeKate]

Just to put things into perspective. When my mom was sick, the hospital gave her back to us before they killed her (their words, not ours). She weighed 95 pounds and dropped down to about 87 before we could stabilize her electrolytes and get food to stay in her long enough for her to get some nutrition. She looked like a concentration camp victim. Yes, I'm serious.

Women always want to look like someone else (a generalization!), and I'm one of them too. But now that I'm with a guy who loves me and loves my curviness, it has helped me come to start to like myself.

You may not think you are losing weight in an unhealthy manner, but if you don't watch yourself, you might start, just to lose that last pound. But just like starting my diet tomorrow, there's always that last pound to lose.

I would offer that you look for someplace to do personal growth work so that you are happier with yourself just the way you are.

[Bean]

Chiming in late here, but I agree that the main issue here is that you are hovering on the border of anorexic behavior. You most definately have body dismorphic disorder (BDD). Listen to your therapist and work on your personal issues. Bringing these out into the open and dealing with them are the only way you are going to adopt a healthy attitude towards your body.

It is a long road, and you may never feel completely comfortable with the way you look, but you need to get out of this destructive pattern of thinking. It can only lead further into the darkness.

[Andreadoria]

Here I go chiming in.

I am 5'2" 310 on a good day. I live in NYC and work in a community college. Kids are stupid cruel and have no sense the the creator gave them.

I get laughs and fluff them off.

The key here is you have to love you first before you can believe what your beloved says. You are treading in dangerous territory with you believing you need to be thinner.

If you have Cable look up lifetime's show how to look good naked. http://www.mylifetime.com/on-tv/shows/how-look-good-naked

It is a really good show at least I believe it is. It helps women believe they are beautiful they way they are and helps them to believe it in their heads too. Please check it out.

This is one thing I do. Try to walk around Naked in your house when you are alone....no joke if you can be naked with yourself then you can see yourself as the raving beauty you are.

Please be careful and I am glad you are seeing someone

[Malina]

It's good you lost SOME weight but please be careful to not lose more than you Dr.'s have told you.

Remember...what you see in magazines IS NOT REAL! If we sat in a chair for 2 hours to get hair and makeup done plus had tons of photo shop done, we wouldn't have any bumps or lumps either.

I lost about 80 lbs almost 2 years ago and with hard work have kept it off. I thought that eventually I'd see myself as I am now and not what I was then. I'm doing better but it's still hard. If I unknowingly catch my reflection in a window or mirror I think - wow tall thin person, but that's only until I realize it's me. I will NEVER be a size 2 but at least I'm healthy.

Take time to realize how great your body is - as it is right now. There will be a day when you're 80 and you'll look back and realize how great you looked and wish you hadn't been so hard on yourself.

[Saucy Sue]

On one season of America's Next Top Model, Tyra showed the girls their shots with a before and after. It was amazing to see what all had to be done to the pictures even after they had been narrowed down to their best shots. They smooth out the skin, plump out the hair, erase any bumps or bulges from the tummy-hip-thighs, etc.

Remember the stink Kate Winslett raised a couple of years ago over a photo she had in some magazine? She was so upset with the magazine because they airbrushed her so that she looked 20-30 pounds thinner than she really was.

[wrenchwench]

I want to mention how proud I am of you for being self aware! Not that I should be surprised the quality of your posts shows your perceptiveness. (yes I read most everything posted here, I just hardly have anything to add cuz someone's already expressed it, lol)

Please try to remember that beauty has no defined outline, there is no universal image that pleases everyone. nor should there be.

It amazes me how hard women can be on themselves, or how an offhand comment by friends, family, strangers can stick in your mind and become an overriding obsession.
I include myself in this, I am close to 6' and grew up in a house full of women around 5' so tall was not a plus.
Being tall/short, thin/curvy or any combination thereof is no garantee that people will not be mean or catty. Kids especially, but sometimes even adults feel the need feel bigger by putting someone else down. It's sad but true.

I agree if you haven't watched this show you should. I watched some episodes at my mom's a few weeks ago and I was stunned at how positive it was. I was going to find the link if someone hadn't mentioned it.
It even addresses the idea of self perception mentioned by one of the lovely wenches earlier.

Here I go chiming in.

(snip)

If you have Cable look up lifetime's show how to look good naked. http://www.mylifetime.com/on-tv/shows/how-look-good-naked

It is a really good show at least I believe it is. It helps women believe they are beautiful they way they are and helps them to believe it in their heads too. Please check it out.
(snip)

[Ravin' Raven]

On one season of America's Next Top Model, Tyra showed the girls their shots with a before and after. It was amazing to see what all had to be done to the pictures even after they had been narrowed down to their best shots. They smooth out the skin, plump out the hair, erase any bumps or bulges from the tummy-hip-thighs, etc.

Remember the stink Kate Winslett raised a couple of years ago over a photo she had in some magazine? She was so upset with the magazine because they airbrushed her so that she looked 20-30 pounds thinner than she really was.

Or the big boo-boo about ten years ago when they airbrushed Cindy Crawford so much for the cover of Cosmo that they eilimated her belly button and they didn't even catch it before it went to print!!! *rotfl*

I agree though, if I had a wardrobe person, hair, makeup, and airbrushing I could be that amazing too!!!

[DoñaNina]

Or the big boo-boo about ten years ago when they airbrushed Cindy Crawford so much for the cover of Cosmo that they eilimated her belly button and they didn't even catch it before it went to print!!! *rotfl*

I agree though, if I had a wardrobe person, hair, makeup, and airbrushing I could be that amazing too!!!

Haha, check out these photos from when I was posing for a poster..

http://img137.imageshack.us/img137/2880/ninavj2.jpg

And then after...

http://img137.imageshack.us/img137/2166/nina2fu0.jpg

[Buxom Wench]

Haha, check out these photos from when I was posing for a poster..

Yup, you're HAWT woman!

And don't ever let anyone tell you different, including yourself. :wink:

[DoñaNina]

Yup, you're HAWT woman!

And don't ever let anyone tell you different, including yourself. :wink:

Aw, thank you. I appreciate that. Those are from when I was about 10lbs heavier though, and when I saw those pictures I felt awful. I don't wanna put the blame on my guitarist but he's constantly trying to give me a "sexier" image. Like, lose more clothes, look like a porn star type suggestions..

[Buxom Wench]

Aw, thank you. I appreciate that. Those are from when I was about 10lbs heavier though, and when I saw those pictures I felt awful. I don't wanna put the blame on my guitarist but he's constantly trying to give me a "sexier" image. Like, lose more clothes, look like a porn star type suggestions..

Personally, right this very moment, I have a great urge to take your guitarist out to the woodshed and beat him within an inch of his life.

What a feckin' asshat! :irked:

ETA: Would he say that to a sister or his mother?! I think not!

[Capt. Stamina]

he's constantly trying to give me a "sexier" image. Like, lose more clothes, look like a porn star type suggestions..

He want's a sexier image for you (apparently based upon what he considers as sexy)?

First let Mr. Johny Fashon Statement know that if he wants a porn star look, he should go get a thong and crotches pants for himself to wear on stage.

Second, let him know you don't need fashon tips from him. If he doesn't like the way you look, then don't look. You're a big girl and you can decide for yourself how you want to dress.

And without trying to be the creepy old guy, you look GREAT!

Edited comment:

And if he doesn't get the hint;drag his sorry rump to the most expensive clothing store you can find, and tell him you'll wear what ever he picks out as long as he pays for it and for having it cleaned each week.

[LadyLaura]

Personally, right this very moment, I have a great urge to take your guitarist out to the woodshed and beat him within an inch of his life.

What a feckin' asshat! :irked:

ETA: Would he say that to a sister or his mother?! I think not!

Can I help? Had my share of boyfriends like that when younger, one that insisted I was fat (I was most definately NOT!) and had me dieting to the point that my friends were concerned for my welfare. Thank goodness I came to my senses and got rid of him before I got sick. He was the same way with the clothes thing as well. It's abuse. I know this guy isn't a boyfriend, but still, he has no right whatsoever to dictate YOUR style of dress, or to insinuate that what you like to wear isn't "right", and that you should conform to his ideal. Total and complete bullshit.

Edited to add I think your pics look FABULOUS as is!

[The Wizard]

CS is right. You look fine just the way you are. My guess would be that you 'mental image' of yourself is based on what you looked like at your worst. Look in the mirror once in a while and find some way to change that mental image of yourself into what you actually look like.

[Ravin' Raven]

Haha, check out these photos from when I was posing for a poster..

http://img137.imageshack.us/img137/2880/ninavj2.jpg

And then after...

http://img137.imageshack.us/img137/2166/nina2fu0.jpg

rowr......I don't even like girls that way and I think you're smokin'!

You and I have much the same body type - vertically challenged yes but still nice and feminine shaped - no straight up and down sticks here!!

And yeah, your guitarist? Needs to get a life and worry about his own looks - I'm sure he ain't all that and a bdag of chips.

[DoñaNina]

And yeah, your guitarist? Needs to get a life and worry about his own looks - I'm sure he ain't all that and a bdag of chips.

He's fairly perfect, body-wise. -_- Goes on stage in a full leather get-up. I love him to death and he's one of my best friends, but he keeps trying to push an image on me that really makes no sense. Like.. wearing skirts. It's a metal band! A power metal band! I understand being theatrical, but arg..

[Buxom Wench]

He's fairly perfect, body-wise. -_- Goes on stage in a full leather get-up. I love him to death and he's one of my best friends, but he keeps trying to push an image on me that really makes no sense. Like.. wearing skirts. It's a metal band! A power metal band! I understand being theatrical, but arg..

And that woodshed just keeps calling to me, along with a bat and a whip. :unamused:

[Ravin' Raven]

And that woodshed just keeps calling to me, along with a bat and a whip. :unamused:

Yeah, it's so she can throw her foot up on the amp and give everyone a free looksie. Hey this post is starting to remind me of something else....what is it....?

[Capt. Stamina]

Are you going back to the elf boots again?

[Ravin' Raven]

Are you going back to the elf boots again?

Cool!!! I keep telling her - metal band - black lace up leather pants and something red. Anything red...

oh - a red leather coat from ravenswood leather!

[DoñaNina]

Yeah, it's so she can throw her foot up on the amp and give everyone a free looksie. Hey this post is starting to remind me of something else....what is it....?

I didn't even think of that!! lol! I don't think he wants me to be THAT slutty, and to be honest, he never EVER commented on my weight. I just felt like if I was going to wear less clothes, there was no way I could do it while looking the way I did. I appreciate the fact that he thinks I can pull off a good slut look, though, if that makes any sense. :lol:

[Ravin' Raven]

I didn't even think of that!! lol! I don't think he wants me to be THAT slutty, and to be honest, he never EVER commented on my weight. I just felt like if I was going to wear less clothes, there was no way I could do it while looking the way I did. I appreciate the fact that he thinks I can pull off a good slut look, though, if that makes any sense. :lol:

Yeah actually it does make sense. In it's own way it is very much a testosterone induced compliment!

(Oh - former bass player here - used to rest my foot up on the speaker in front of me because my damn Fender Jazz Bass was so dang heavy!)

[Phoenix McHeit]

(Oh - former bass player here - used to rest my foot up on the speaker in front of me because my damn Fender Jazz Bass was so dang heavy!)
Oh Holy SnorglePod! Youse so fukkin hawt!

[Ravin' Raven]

Oh Holy SnorglePod! Youse so fukkin hawt!

SnorglePod???SnorglePod??? Okay I just spit all over my keyboard and my employees are looking at me like I'm really wierd....

(Oh i was Goth back when it was original and cool - must dig for picture and scan it in...)

[Torra]

I didn't even think of that!! lol! I don't think he wants me to be THAT slutty, and to be honest, he never EVER commented on my weight. I just felt like if I was going to wear less clothes, there was no way I could do it while looking the way I did. I appreciate the fact that he thinks I can pull off a good slut look, though, if that makes any sense. :lol:

Is it "slut" or "sexpot" he wants? Sexpot can be done without revealing clothes, provided they're tailored right and you've got the hair and makeup.

[DoñaNina]

Is it "slut" or "sexpot" he wants? Sexpot can be done without revealing clothes, provided they're tailored right and you've got the hair and makeup.

Nope, definitely slut. :roll: "Nina, you gotta wear more revealing clothes!"

I don't have a problem with something low cut, but showing my legs?? Noooooo...

[Buxom Wench]

Nope, definitely slut. :roll: "Nina, you gotta wear more revealing clothes!"

I don't have a problem with something low cut, but showing my legs?? Noooooo...

LEATHER PANTS!

[DoñaNina]

LEATHER PANTS!

I don't wanna buy leather pants again. I have a pair and now they're too big.. I'm worried if I buy another pair they'll get to be too big, too.

[Buxom Wench]

I don't wanna buy leather pants again. I have a pair and now they're too big.. I'm worried if I buy another pair they'll get to be too big, too.

OK, skip the leather pants.
Just wear tight as can be whatever (jeans, tights, etc.) and thigh high boots.
Boots do wonders for the legs and the way they look.

[DoñaNina]

Eheh.. see that's my problem, I hate my legs. I don't know if I'll ever be comfortable with them, they're my worst feature. Sometimes I wish I could hide behind my garb skirts..

[Phoenix McHeit]

Yup, that's it - wear the miniskirt that dude wants, with thick tights & knee boots. Your legs are covered for you, but the audience can see their shape, for him.

HAWT!

[Buxom Wench]

Eheh.. see that's my problem, I hate my legs. I don't know if I'll ever be comfortable with them, they're my worst feature. Sometimes I wish I could hide behind my garb skirts..

Darlin', I don't think anyone hates their legs more than Moi!
Even in RL, my legs are always covered, even in the heat of summer.
When I get ready for bed at night, they glow like a full moon. Seriously.

Try the tights with thigh high boots and a longish top (a la 80's)

[*Gremco]

If you don't like leather pants, what about jeans in a dark wash? You could put in cut-outs and embelishments to make it sexy and one-of-a-kind. Who cares what the guitarist wants? Get something that makes you feel sexy and people will pick up on it. Well fitting jeans and a well fitted shirt makes me feel hot like nothing else. Its all personal taste. When you feel good, you radiate it. I could turn heads at eight months pregnant because I knew I looked good and others agreed. I've always concidered myself hot with a good body.I know I'm sounding vain and I'm sorry. I'm really not. I just love myself. I'm 5'4" and 175lb (when I'm not pregnant.) It is all about your attitude and not about the number on the scale.

[Buxom Wench]

It is all about your attitude and not about the number on the scale.

BRAVO!!!

[Andreadoria]

Taking the devils advocate side.

Sounds Like your Guitarist think you are HOT!!! as you say he is a friend.

SO there is the point he is just wanting to sell more tickets... like the PR reps do to all the bands with girls ....ie ...SEX...SLutty sells. Or have you all not noticed that Porn stars are in videos now and some are fronting bands these days

Be flattered your Friend thinks you are that hot ....I agree not to go over board your music should speak for it self not the sexy chick in the band selling the band.

Suggestion there is a type of flesh colored tights from danskin...I where them in stead of panty hose all the time when I have to where a dress yuck!!..they looks and last so great http://www.danskin.com/womens-legwear-footed.html

Working on the stage all those years I learned me a thing or too. they shape your legs and come in a vast array of colors. You can't even see a micro meter of skin and the don't run easy.

you could wear them under some hot cut out jeans...Or perhaps you could do a corseted laced pant with lots of leg showing ...wearing the tights under neath, with a corset top??? Just and Idea.

But the most import thing you have to do is teach your self you are fine at the weight you are at

.....think about it this way if you were to get to 115 or 110 and you got a really bad case of the flu or some other type of sick that you couldn't eat you could be a goner in just a few weeks with out the normal weigh you should be 125 you would have nothing to fight with.

Just me worrying...I am the eternal mother hen ...I may not know you personally but just me..I had a friend that went bulimic on me and it got me scared.

I hate to see a beautiful woman succumb to the Madison Avenue bullshit!!!!

I don't go that way but man's you are hott!!...was raised with boy cousins that would and still do point out hot chicks to me.

[SHpepperKat]

I have to agree with what everyone else has said here. If the doc tells you to stop then PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do so. Working on both mind and body are difficult things. Take them slow and you will get there.


As for the pics you posted. I have to say that I like the first one better than the second one.

HOT HOT HOTTIE you are.


and no I don't go that way. It comes from having mostly Guy friends and having to pick out girls for them.

[DoñaNina]

Taking the devils advocate side.

Sounds Like your Guitarist think you are HOT!!!



hahaha!! Maybe! That's definately a possibility.

I like the idea of the tights, too. I might have to look into that. I've always had an issue with wearing skirts because I tend to move on stage a lot and I don't want to be hindered by a skirt that's too short or tight or something.

[Buxom Wench]

hahaha!! Maybe! That's definately a possibility.

I like the idea of the tights, too. I might have to look into that. I've always had an issue with wearing skirts because I tend to move on stage a lot and I don't want to be hindered by a skirt that's too short or tight or something.

If you want really yummy tights, definitely get them from Faire Pair Tights (http://www.tightsgoddess.com/).

They're the yummiest you'll ever pet...I mean wear. :oops: