The Iams Diet

[erinrai]

I was in Sam's last week buying a large bag of IAMS Large Breed for my
Giant Schnauzer, Heidi, and was in line to check out. The woman behind me
asked if I had a dog.

Duh!!
I was feeling a bit Crabby so on impulse, I told her NO. I was starting the
IAMS Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in
the hospital the last time, but that I'd lost 50 lbs. before I'd
awakened in the intensive care unit with tubes coming out most of my orifices
and IV's in both arms.

Her eyes bugged out of her head.
I went on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it.
I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is
to load your pockets or purse with IAMS nuggets and simply eat one or two every
time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I
was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was now enthralled
with my story, particularly the tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that
why I ended up in the hospital.
I said no, I'd been sitting in the middle of the street licking my butt
when a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy behind her was going to have to be carried out.

[Taffy Saltwater]

You are BAD! Good thing I'm drinkless - I'd have spewed!

[DangerousCurves]

I got this email many moons ago and loved it. Thanks for the re-laugh!

[LadyLaura]

My grandmother did something similar once, in the grocery store with my mother. My grandmother was buying canned mackerel. This lady walked by, and asked her how she prepared it. She said she mixed it with DOG FOOD! The lady got a horrified look and walked away. My mother scolded her, for not saying she mixed it with dog food because she fed it TO HER DOG! This was in the 70's, when there were lots of stories around about elderly people being reduced to eating pet food to get by...

My grandmother was quite a character, and passed away just this spring at the age of 97.

[Savantage]

seen this joke before.....but it always gets people to laugh *somewhere Bill Engvall slaps his forehead and says 'here's your sign!?!'*.....the joke ,when told in the most serious tone, can get the most hilarious reactions. My mom and I used to always buy dog treats for my paper route to give to the poochies who didn't act aggressive and a friend of hers saw us doing it one time and my mom answered the question with "well they taste just like animal crackers, and not so fattening" boy explain that one to the children authorities ::whistle::

[Andreadoria]

When I saw this post I was going to reply I am on the balance Plan.

I never saw that email, I was rolling.

I have said stuff like that many times. FYI, 2 of my cousins have eaten dog treats. One ate people crackers, and my beloved cousin in MI I convinced to eat puppy pepperoni, is smelled just like pepperoni and is made by quaker oats...he was like sure seconds later it was flying acros the room...lolo

LadyLaura I love your Grandma's remark, My Nana was just like that