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View Full Version : Fluff: Cool things about being a man....


Silverwind
09-23-2004, 10:49 AM
It would appear that this list was written by a woman.... :lol:


Cool things about being a man:

1. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
2. Your orgasms are real. Always.
3. Your last name stays put.
4. The garage is all yours.
5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
8. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
10. Same work . More pay.
11. Wrinkles-add character.
12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
17. One mood, ALL the damn time.
18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.
19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.
20. You can open all your own jars.
21. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
22. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
23. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices
24. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
26. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."
27. No maxi-pads.
28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
29. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
30. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
31. You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.
32. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
33. Your belly usually hides your big hips.
34. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
35. You can "do" your nails with a pocket-knife.
36. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in minutes.
37. The world is your urinal.



Ten Things men know for sure about women.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

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8.

9.

10. They have breasts.

Phlinx
01-11-2006, 06:52 PM
"15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them."

I've done this to guys before...so its not true.

MaidenFaeSnow
01-11-2006, 06:54 PM
I have to disagree with numbers 4 and 17...

Gemdrite
01-11-2006, 07:50 PM
19 and 22 apply to women as well....it just has to be a big suitcase, lol. And women's underwear comes in a 3 pack for 7 bucks, if you buy cheap. Which I do. Walmart is my friend.

Mistress Lisette
01-12-2006, 12:22 AM
"15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them."

I've done this to guys before...so its not true.

Me, too. And further down. I've been known to sneak glances at men's forearms. I've got a thing for men's forearms. :wink:

~Lisette

SpeedKnight
01-12-2006, 05:00 AM
I lose on #25. I'm a freak of manhood because I have a bunch of shoes. Got my cycling shoes, paintball shoes (a pair of Nike trail running shoes), basketball shoes (3 different pairs), sandels, work boots (2 pairs), uniform dress shoes, dres shoes, "casual" low top boots, "casual" shoes, and "casual" mid top boots. And then I have my 2 pairs of "everyday" Vans shoes. And I definately can't forget about my "underway" shoes.

See... I'm a freak of manhood!

merestelle
01-13-2006, 01:29 PM
I have to disagree on riding quietly in the passenger seat.

Most men will not sit in the passenger seat.

SpeedKnight
01-16-2006, 05:08 AM
I have to disagree on riding quietly in the passenger seat.

Most men will not sit in the passenger seat.

I go stir crazy when I ride shotgun. But then, I'm a car guy, so I'd ALWAYS rather drive than be driven!

Buxom Wench
01-16-2006, 09:59 AM
I go stir crazy when I ride shotgun. But then, I'm a car guy, so I'd ALWAYS rather drive than be driven!


My Rogue doesn't have a choice!
He rides shot-gun or we don't go in the same vehicle.

This is due to the fact that, while driving his '71 MGB through town, with me in the passenger seat, he almost hit a tree while scoping out the 2 barely covered girls that were walking on the opposite side of the street. Since that day, either I drive or we take seperate vehicles.

He tends to try to sightsee while driving instead of paying attention to the road. Works for me, I HATE being the passenger in ANYONE'S car. Besides, he usualy brings the camera now and takes pics of things I might miss otherwise.

Elsbeth McCoughllie
01-16-2006, 07:35 PM
As far as #1 goes.....
obviously you've never set foot in the restaurant where I'm a wen-- er... waitress. E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y who applies for a job there get's checked out from head to toe by the staff when they come in with an app. If they've got the skills, we check their looks-- especially their rears!! We have a reputation for having the hottest waitstaff in the Happy Valley and we figure if we're going to be bumping up against each other, flirting, etc while running food, we better have something nice to look at!!

SpeedKnight
01-16-2006, 10:15 PM
My Rogue doesn't have a choice!
He rides shot-gun or we don't go in the same vehicle.

This is due to the fact that, while driving his '71 MGB through town, with me in the passenger seat, he almost hit a tree while scoping out the 2 barely covered girls that were walking on the opposite side of the street. Since that day, either I drive or we take seperate vehicles.

That's funny. Seriously. It is.

He tends to try to sightsee while driving instead of paying attention to the road. Works for me, I HATE being the passenger in ANYONE'S car. Besides, he usualy brings the camera now and takes pics of things I might miss otherwise.

I like to sight see when I drive, but I still tend to be more focused on the road. I won't even use a hands free with my celly... If the phone rings while I'm driving, the person can leave a voice mail. :)

As far as #1 goes.....
obviously you've never set foot in the restaurant where I'm a wen-- er... waitress. E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y who applies for a job there get's checked out from head to toe by the staff when they come in with an app. If they've got the skills, we check their looks-- especially their rears!! We have a reputation for having the hottest waitstaff in the Happy Valley and we figure if we're going to be bumping up against each other, flirting, etc while running food, we better have something nice to look at!!

That's funny. What kind of place is it, anyway?