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Rhia
12-17-2004, 05:29 PM
Poor diet, inherited disease made Gollum mad
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=1516&e=2&u=/afp/20041217/od_afp/healthliterature_041217185035


PARIS (AFP) - The "Lord of the Rings" character Gollum was paranoid and had a split personality but this was because he probably suffered from vitamin deficiency, anaemia, hyperthyroidism and a metabolic disease called porphyria.


That's the conclusion of a group of British doctors who sift through Gollum's symptoms in a tongue-in-cheek diagnosis published this Saturday in the British Medical Journal (BMJ).


"Gollum's diet is extremely limited, consisting only of raw fish. Vitamin B-12 deficiency may cause irritability, delusions and paranoia," they say.


"His reduced appetite and loss of hair and weight may be associated with iron deficiency anaemia. He is hypervigilant and does not seem to need much sleep.


"This, accompanied by his bulging eyes and weight loss, suggests hyperthyroidism. Gollum's dislike of sunlight may be induced to the photosensitivity of porphyria. Attacks may be induced by starvation and accompanied by paranoid psychosis."


Porphyria is an inherited disease of the metabolic system.


The "study", lead-authored by psychiatrist Elizabeth Sampson of the Royal Free and University College Medical School in London, describes Gollum as "a single, 587-year-old hobbit-like male of no fixed abode.


"He has presented with anti-social behaviour, increasing aggression and preoccupied with the 'one ring.'... He has no history of substance misuse, although like many young hobbits, he smoked 'pipe weed' in adolescence."


The diagnosis concludes: "Gollum displays pervasive maladaptive behaviour that has been present since childhood with a persistent disease course.


"His odd interests and spiteful behaviour have led to difficulty in forming friendships and have caused distress to others. He fulfills seven of the nine criteria for schizoid personality disorder."


In J.R.R. Tolkien's trilogy -- subsequently turned into a trio of Oscar-winning films -- Gollum, a thin, pale, gangrel creature, is enslaved by a magic ring made by the evil Sauron.


In his desperation to retrieve it, his mind persistently fights between a "good" personality, Smeagol, and a nasty one, Gollum.

Lady Sarah
12-17-2004, 06:36 PM
*snerf* there's a medical explanation for everything.

now about that damned disembodiement...
:shock:

Cassandra from VTRF
12-17-2004, 07:16 PM
Ok, someone has WAY too much time on their hands to do a medical history like that on a fictional character...

:lol:

Pathos
12-17-2004, 07:23 PM
Ok, someone has WAY too much time on their hands to do a medical history like that on a fictional character...

:lol:

Really. Screw trying to help actual sick PEOPLE. Let's sit around and waste our medical degrees on make-believe characters! :roll:

Cassandra from VTRF
12-17-2004, 07:44 PM
EXACTLY! Tax money gone to good work... NOT *sigh*

Now, on the flip side, it makes sence their conclusion.

Pathos
12-17-2004, 08:53 PM
Now let's see if they can figure out what really happened to Humpty Dumpty.

Ysobelle
12-17-2004, 10:56 PM
Jesus, folks. First off, as the good doctors are in England, don't worry about your tax dollars. Actually, doctors tend to get my after-tax money, anyhow-- what there is of it.

Second, every once in a while-- shh! Don't tell!-- hospitals have been known to let doctors take some-- gasp!-- time off. They might even let them go home and eat and sleep and maybe even use a computer.

Just a concept.

MacKahlia
12-17-2004, 11:07 PM
Giggle...

I dunno, I found it amuzing that the little guy was analyzed. I mean, come on, all the hype over the rest of them, he deserves some special attention :D


Its funny. and I'm sure its meant to be funny.

And truthfully, As a science geek, we do shit like this over our lunch break and at bars. We are weird like that.

MAWH.

:smooch:

Rhia
12-17-2004, 11:47 PM
Giggle...

I dunno, I found it amuzing that the little guy was analyzed. I mean, come on, all the hype over the rest of them, he deserves some special attention :D


Its funny. and I'm sure its meant to be funny.

And truthfully, As a science geek, we do shit like this over our lunch break and at bars. We are weird like that.

MAWH.

:smooch:

my favorite is STILL the study done with topographical mapping that proved that Kansas WAS flatter than a pancake!

(I thought the data was flawed myself, but the fact that they actually did the research cracked me up!)

Leela
12-18-2004, 08:48 AM
First off...this was so freakin funny! Thanks!

Second off...as a med. intern widow, all the doctor bashing is way off base. If your doctors suck, no wonder you feel the need to cast them to the wolves. But it pisses me off that so many seem to have NO CLUE that a majority of these people (depending on their area of expertise...this doesn't apply to dermatologists, for instance) work ABSOLUTELY INSANE HOURS. Particulary interns and residents. This month, my Rogue is on long call (meaning 30+ in the intensive care unit) on the 23rd. Back to work a 6:30 AM on the 24th. And again on the 25th, and on the 26th...guess what? LONG CALL again! Not to mention that he has long call on the 20th, and the last day off (no we DON'T get weekends) until this hell ends on the 28th, is the 19th. We'll probably be sleeping. The 29th, he'll probably be drinking. This is a typical schedule, folks. And for some, it doesn't get much better after intern hell is over.

If these folks keep their spirits and sanity up by coming up with great stuff like this in what free time they have...well my hat is off to them.

So please, in the spirit of the season...lay the fuck off.

Thank you.
Merry fucking Christmas.

Bonnie
12-18-2004, 09:51 AM
Well, as an add-on to Leela's rant, they're DOCTORS.

Not for nothing, but if they've read the books, as they've a right to, it's second nature to pick apart the clues presented in the text and come up with a diagnosis. They didn't actually run tests on the critter. They read the books and came up with a hypothesis.

It's no different than reading a book and determining, based on descriptions of surroundings, that it was taking place in Alaska, on the moon, or under the sea.

Fiona Freckl'dbottom
12-19-2004, 05:49 PM
Oh the rogue is gonna enjoy reading that :-) Thanks Rhia! :-)

Adriana Rose
12-19-2004, 09:31 PM
This is a prime example of people with wayyyy too much time on their hands!!!


But that was very interesting..