This wench needs some support....

[LadyRadar]

I find myself in a relationship with a man that I'm crazy in love with, but I know he's not right for me. It hurts me because he doesn't think about me before he acts, and it results in me finding him curled up in a bed with my best friend. They both say nothing happened, and I believe that, but it still bothers me because I worry that he wants her more than me. It was an ongoing thing this past weekend when we both went down there that culminated in a very large argument when I asked them both to stay away from each other. Maybe I was wrong for it, but I'm just not comfortable with it.

I guess I just need to know what I should do. I don't trust him fully, and especially not with my best friend, but I don't know what to do. Should I just let him go, or should I try to make it work? Should I trust him fully when I know he doesn't think about his actions and what they would mean to me? Please help. I'm just not sure what to do....

[lady Amalthea]

let him go. If you can't trust him now then you'll never be able to fully trust him. Don't let yourself get hurt.

[erinrai]

I speak from personal experience. Let him go. I agree that if you can't fully trust him now you won't ever be able to and it will only get worse. You deserve better.

[Jeannie Fitzgerald]

Lose the loser FAST! And the so called best friend. He obviously cares nothing for you or he wouldn't be treating you with so little respect. The best friend is no friend if she would do such a thing. What you don't need are people who have no respect for you. You deserve so much better than that. Don't seek revenge or harbor resentment; just cut your losses and walk away with your head held high. It can be scary to be alone but not only is being alone better than the assault to your self esteem you are taking right now, it frees you up to find people you deserve to have in your life. Get involved in group activities that will allow you to be with people who will respect you for who you are.

[AnnaFaerie]

My thought exactly...get rid of both of them....they are loosers! Both of them are treating you very badly. Kick them to the curb and don't look back. You deserve better!

[rosefaeries]

I agree with everything that has been said. Please do it before your self esteem takes a battering. It can be very difficult to rebuild yourself. (I am talking from experience here)

[Miracle Wench]

She is not a friend to do that to you, and he is not any better sorry to say I have to agree with the rest. Your self esteem is worth more than that.
you will know what to do when the time is right.
I will keep you in my prayers.

[The Doxie with Moxie]

LADYRADAR SAID:

They both say nothing happened, and I believe that, but it still bothers me



Dearest LadyRadar,

It still bothers you because you know in your heart of hearts that something did happen. I'm not saying they fooled around or anything like that, what happened is they treated you like you didn't matter. They treated you like a fool. There is no justifiable reason for your boyfriend to be in bed with anyone but you. There is no justifiable reason for your girlfriend to ever be in bed with your boyfriend unless you invited her.

I believe your heart and mind are sending you a message, but you don't like the message. It is very hard to be alone. It is hard to lose someone that you thought of as your best friend. It bothers you still because it should bother you. Please let your peace of mind and happiness be worth more to you then them. They may have treated you badly BUT you do not need to treat yourself badly. REWARD YOURSELF by removing those two people from your life.

At some point every person on this website has probably been in a similar predicament. The actual event may be different but the feelings of betrayal, lonliness and worthlessness are sadly universal. Please be strong and treat yourself the way they didn't. LET yourself matter, let you come first, do what will lead you on the road to happiness. It may take a while but you can do it.

You can and will be happy again, here's a hug for you ':grouphug:'

[Lady Laurel]

I am so sorry they did this to you. Like everyone else say she is not your friend and the guy is just a plain looser. It may hurt like Hell to leave both off them behind. You will find that you are 100 times better off without them. You know what you have to do its just so hard and so scary but sometimes the right decisions are the hardest.

[LadyRadar]

I think what I've decided to do is cut her out of my life for good. But I'm going to wait on him because it occured to me that I'm not quite sure if it's him I didn't trust or her I didn't trust.

My boyfriend is a flirt. I've known that from the beginning; hell, I'm a flirt too. I noticed that I was only not okay with it when he was flirting with her. It didn't bother me otherwise.

Thank you for your thoughts, and your prayers. Keep those up, because it's gonna be a bit difficult for a while for me yet, as I still need to deal with this woman during SCRF. I don't know how to do that.

[Buxom Wench]

I don't know how to do that.

with the dignity and grace that makes you a Lady. :D

[Lady Sarah]

Thank you for your thoughts, and your prayers. Keep those up, because it's gonna be a bit difficult for a while for me yet, as I still need to deal with this woman during SCRF. I don't know how to do that.

You'll pull your shoulders back confidently, straighten your back regally, you will smile graciously and you will go about your business with noblesse oblige. A wench would do nothing less. ;)

[Ciani]

Good Luck with whatever you decide to do regarding the situation. I went through something similar, and it was heart wrenching. I didn't cut either person out of my life in the end but both relationships are irrevocably changed. I'm okay with many things provided people are honest with me. If someone cares about you it is the least they should give you, if they can't manage anything else.

[daBaroness]

Be very, very careful m'dear. As the saying goes, "boys will be boys." You don't trust either of them, but it's easier to kick her to the curb than him at this point. She's wrong to be noodling up to him when she knows he's supposed to be your boyfriend and he's wrong because whether she noodled up to him or he noodled up to her - he's supposed to be your boyfriend and he shouldn't be noodling with anyone but you.

Where there's smoke, there's fire ... period. Don't believe the "it's not what you think" reprise - it's always EXACTLY what you think unless you're so totally in denial you believe you're not thinking THAT. They were in the same bed together - and there's NO justification for that.

Please, please don't fall into the cliche of believing it's her, not him - because he'll just find another her. Women always seem to place all the blame on the "other woman" rather than face losing a man who's ... a loser. Hon, there are PLENTY of fish in the sea - throw the rotten one back before the flies start swarming. You know you have very large doubts and don't really trust him - that's no kind of relationship to be in.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Don't hurt yourself by waiting around to be shamed and fooled again.

[mstarfire]

I would move out of both lives. You don't need that kind of disrespect.

Respect is the greatest gift you can give or receive from anyone. By being together in the way you found them, they have both, equally, disrespected you and your friendship with them. Walk away.

And remember, the greatest revenge is a life well lived.