Geez - rantish -help

[MaidMarion]

So, I have been having this stalker for the last several months. But I've spoken to an attorny and police who say there's "just not enough proof". What has to happen before something can be done? When they find my body? (OK, that may be overreacting a bit)

The details:

I've been working at this place pretty much since I've been out of high school (except when I was away in the National Guard)

I'm the office manager for an interior design firm. and I'm the only one who'd not into the design or construction aspect of the biz, so while everyone else is out at job sites, I'm usually here by myself.

So there's this guy, he was the mailman here for years. Can't say I really knew him. don't even know his name. He shows up, drops stuff off, occasionaly some small talk.

So a while back, he come in early one week and says Friday's his last day he's being transfered to another route. So tell him good luck and see you around.

About a week later, this guy starts showing up, all the time, despite the fact that he's no longer the mailman here.

So I'm on my cell phone talking to my freind's husband who was trying to talk me through how to fix a computer problem when there's a knock at the door (it was after hours, so I lock up eevn when I stay late)

So the second I open the coor he pshes his way past me and start going on and on like he's an old buddy. I'm like "excuse me, you can't come in" he says "really? oh well I'll just stay a few mins" with that he slaps the door shut right out of my hand and helps himself to a seat.

I tell him several times to get out, while still talking on my cell phone ( I made sure to stay on the phone the whole time) Once I even told me friend to hold on, turned, looked him right in the face and said "SERIOUSLY, GOOD BYE!" he just sat there with this dumb @$$ smile on his face like he tought I was kidding. Finally after almost a half hour, he leaves and I'm panicked. It wasn't untill after he was gone that I noticed that he had pulled the blinds shut.

After that, I made it a point to peek out the window to see who it was before opening the door. He kept coming, but I just didn't answure the door. 3 days a week for months. including a few sundays.

It's not as often anymore, only abiut once a month. I've called the post office and asked to speak to a manager (apparently they've "spoken" to him but he's denied everything).

I've had my tiers slashed 3 times. No I didn't see it, but they've all happend on days he came over and I didn't get the door.

I'm going nuts here. Noone seems to be taking this seriously. including the boss here. And there doesn't seem to be enough to file charges. HELP!!!

K.J.

[AnnaFaerie]

Sorry...double post. :oops:

[AnnaFaerie]

I feel for you. This happened to me when I was a teen........many years ago before it was even called stalking.

The police would do nothing....no proof...just my word against his. The police did tell my mom to hire a bodyguard....sure and the money is coming from where?

It sounds like you've done everything I would have done.

I don't know what to say to help you....besides quietly find another job....leave as soon as you can and do not leave an address where he can find you. Be as careful as you can.

[Alianne]

If he's coming into your workplace even after you've said 'no, you can't come in', then promptly call the police and tell them he's forced his way in and that he's tresspassing.

If you can't nail him to the wall on stalking, get him whatever other legal way you can.

I'd also look into getting a restraining order, using the times when he's come into your workplace after you've said 'no' as grounds.

You might want to talk to a lawyer about this.

[rosefaeries]

Would it be possible for the work place to install security cameras? At least he would be on tape then. Also, if you have a camera, take pictures of him at the door. Have you journaled everything as it happened.Dates, times, every single detail of what happened. If you can remember word for word conversations write them down. If not, the gist of the conversations will be just fine. It is very important that you document everything. (I have been through this....grumble)

[The Doxie with Moxie]

Hey MaidMarion,

I'm a Federal employee and I know the Post Office is quasi-government so I'm not sure exactly how they do their time&attendance cards. If this is happening when he should be on his regular route and you have already told his manager what you fear you may have another avenue for action. You need to keep a calendar and clock time of all events associated with this man. You should go to the Post Master with a copy of your records and voice your concerns. Also get the Post Masters name and find out the name of the manager you spoke to (for all you know it was one of his idiot buddies just covering for him). If the incidents continue you should visit your Congressmans local offices and speak to one of his/her aides and present all your information. The Congressman will have almost immediate access to any information in regards to that employees time&attendance records and also the so called investigation by the "manager" and any past disciplinary problems that pertain to this employee, for all you know this man may have a history of this behavior. I know that the FAA (that is who I work for) has 48 hours to answer any Congressional inquiry. There may also be a Conduct and Discipline Code that the Post Office is supposed to follow in reference to employee behavior. If the employee is suppossed to be at work when he does this stuff to you it could be falsification of time&attendance records, behavior contrary to the conduct and discipline code, fraudulent use of government vehicles. Maybe the management just isn't enforcing preexisting rules in regards to this employee, if so the Congressman can find out and then heads will role. There is supposed to be zero tolerance for this type of thing in governmental agencies. Good Luck!

I hope the above ideas help you out. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

[daBaroness]

I second the videotaping suggestion. I also second the call the cops when he's at the door suggestion. You've got to document his activities - especially if it's a "his word against yours" scenario. I'd definitely focus a camera on your car.

I know you've said you're the office manager, but you must have a boss. Have you spoken to him/her? If the guy shows up again and everyone is out in the field, call your boss right then and there. Do you know the name of the fellow stalking you? If not, I'd make it my business to find out. Have you ever asked him what it is he wants - why he keeps coming by even though you're the only one there and it's not his route anymore? Next time he comes to the door - don't open it, but do ask that through the door and tape record his response. Keeping a log/journal is a good idea, but it does need to be backed up with something visual or tangible. Even if it's just a still camera - if the guy shows up - take a picture.

Do you know anything about this guy? Like where he lives; if he's married; or if he has a police record? It might sound nuts, but you might consider hiring a private investigator to get information about the guy. If he's got a record and a history of stalking - the police might take you more seriously. If he's got a wife, call her when he shows up uninvited - but call the police as well.

Last, but not least. Definitely don't open the door to the guy if you're alone. Don't leave the office if there's a possibility he's hanging around in the vicinity. If you think he's there - call the police for an escort to your car or ask a male coworker to return to the office when you're ready to leave to ensure your safety and document this fellow's activity.

OK - really the last ... talk to a detective or if you have a sex crimes unit or something like that at your local police department ... develop a relationship with a cop so you have someone who's aware of the situation, can offer advice on how to keep yourself safe and can be contacted if this creep shows up again. You might also want to have a coworker stay in the office with you or even a friend - someone who could verify and corroberate your story and give you more credibility.

Be safe.