Jump from Natalee Holloway Thread-Washington Post editorial

[I'Cin]

Op-Ed piece from The Washington Post, June 10, 2005, P.A23

(White) Women We Love

By Eugene Robinson

Friday, June 10, 2005; Page A23

Someday historians will look back at America in the decade bracketing the turn of the 21st century and identify the era's major themes: Religious fundamentalism. Terrorism. War in Iraq. Economic dislocation. Bioengineering. Information technology. Nuclear proliferation. Globalization. The rise of superpower China.

And, of course, Damsels in Distress.

Every few weeks, this stressed-out nation with more problems to worry about than hours in the day finds time to become obsessed with the saga -- it's always a "saga," never just a story -- of a damsel in distress. Natalee Holloway, the student who disappeared while on a class trip to the Caribbean island of Aruba, is the latest in what seems an endless series.

Holloway assumed the mantle from her predecessor, the Runaway Bride, who turned out not to have been in distress at all -- not physical distress, at least, though it's obvious that the prospect of her impending 600-guest wedding caused Jennifer Wilbanks an understandable measure of mental trauma.

Before the Runaway Bride, there were too many damsels to provide a full list, but surely you remember the damsel elite: Laci Peterson. Elizabeth Smart. Lori Hacking. Chandra Levy. JonBenet Ramsey. We even found, or created, a damsel amid the chaos of war in Iraq: Jessica Lynch.

The specifics of the story line vary from damsel to damsel. In some cases, the saga begins with the discovery of a corpse. In other cases, the damsel simply vanishes into thin air. Often, there is a suspect from the beginning -- an intruder, a husband, a father, a congressman, a stranger glimpsed lurking nearby.

Sometimes the tale ends well, or well enough, as in the cases of Smart and Lynch. Let's hope it ends well for Holloway. But more often, it ends badly. Once in a great while, a case like Runaway Bride comes along to provide comic relief.

But of course the damsels have much in common besides being female. You probably have some idea of where I'm headed here.

A damsel must be white. This requirement is nonnegotiable. It helps if her frame is of dimensions that breathless cable television reporters can credibly describe as "petite," and it also helps if she's the kind of woman who wouldn't really mind being called "petite," a woman with a good deal of princess in her personality. She must be attractive -- also nonnegotiable. Her economic status should be middle class or higher, but an exception can be made in the case of wartime (see: Lynch).

Put all this together, and you get 24-7 coverage. The disappearance of a man, or of a woman of color, can generate a brief flurry, but never the full damsel treatment. Since the Holloway story broke we've had more news reports from Aruba this past week, I'd wager, than in the preceding 10 years.

I have no idea whether the late French philosopher Jacques Derrida hung on every twist and turn of the Chandra Levy case; somehow, I doubt he did. But I suspect the apostle of "deconstructionism" would have analyzed the damsel-in-distress phenomenon by explaining that our society is imposing its own subconsciously chosen narrative on all these cases.

It's the meta-narrative of something seen as precious and delicate being snatched away, defiled, destroyed by evil forces that lurk in the shadows, just outside the bedroom window. It's whiteness under siege. It's innocence and optimism crushed by cruel reality. It's a flower smashed by a rock.

Or maybe (since Derrida believed in multiple readings of a single text) the damsel thing is just a guaranteed cure for a slow news day. The cable news channels, after all, have lots of airtime to fill.

This is not to mock any one of these cases (except Runaway Bride) or to diminish the genuine tragedy experienced by family and friends. I can imagine the helplessness I'd feel if a child of mine disappeared from a remote beach in the Caribbean. But I can also be fairly confident that neither of my sons would provoke so many headlines.

Whatever our ultimate reason for singling out these few unfortunate victims, among the thousands of Americans who are murdered or who vanish each year, the pattern of choosing only young, white, middle-class women for the full damsel treatment says a lot about a nation that likes to believe it has consigned race and class to irrelevance.

What it says is that we haven't. What it says is that those stubborn issues are still very much alive and that they remain at the heart of the nation's deepest fears.

eugenerobinson@washpost.com

[Ysobelle]

Ouch.

I wonder where he'd place Terri Schiavo in that dubious pantheon? And I'd say it's as much a fairy-tale thing as anything else. We all want those stories to forget about the harsher ones with which we can't cope.

[MisRed]

Bravo!!!!

As long as white, young, attractive women are seen as "victims" and "Damels in Distress", women's rights will never be, IMHO.

Oh please, protect us from ourselves, it's soooo big and scary out there. (/sarcasm)

Nice to see that someone else has noticed the proliferation of Damsels. I just hope this means we can /do/ something about this, instead of creating "Damesels of color" to make up for the disparity.

[I'Cin]

Nikki, did you "ouch" the racism or sexism (or both) of the piece?

My liberal, communist insignificant other thought it was a good proof of his crusade that racism is alive and well. I honestly never really thought about the sexism inherent in the same stores because, well, even if we do not want to be thought of as weak and helpless, the facts are: (1) most men are larger and stronger than most women (yes, there are exceptions) and (2) violence of this sort (rape and murder) tends to be by men against women. If "damsels of color" can help bring an end to violence specifically against women, that no means no, than where's my damsel hat.

I think I am bothered by the fact that in order to get that kind of media attention you have to be young, white, and attractive. I'm not so young, and while somebody probably finds me attractive (all kinds of weirdos out there) I'm short and chubby, so if I don't show up at home this evening or at work tomorrow, I'll get maybe a short blurb on local news, a paragraph in the Metro section, and next week I'll still be gone but nobody cares?

I also think he left out one other criteria -- you must have an angle - one or more of the following are necessary for the media attention: tourist, pregnant, celebrity/politician involvement, non-mainstream religion and/or hobby.

I'Cin

[Ysobelle]

I think I pretty much ouched the whole thing: the idea that one must be the All-American Girl to get coverage, and that that All-American Girl is upper/middle class, white, pretty, and a helpless victim, i.e. in the wrong place at the wrong time, and essentially innocent.

Yes, sexist, yes, racist, but in some ways, painfully true. I absolutely do not think racism is dead in this country-- I think we're living in at least two countries at once, and wilfully ignoring that schism.

[daBaroness]

Bravo Eugene - you've dared to state the obviously unstated. I had whole and lengthy conversations about the Laci Peterson case with friends - male and female, white and people of color - where we mused why Laci was any more unfortunate than any number of the local Kansas City black women who have been found murdered while with child. The concensus then was much the same - it was race, physical attractiveness and social rank.

What distresses me (no, I'm not a damsel, I'm more a Dame or a Broad or a ... WENCH) is the whole perpetuation of petite, white, upper middle class females as victims. Personally, I heard a talk long ago about the concept of victims and victimization being a state-of-mind in which the the word victim is synonymous with the surrender (sometimes willing surrender) of one's own power and right to self determination. Since then, I have pretty much rejected the whole concept of being a victim - in my book, it's definitely NOT a good thing. Looked at objectively - many so-called victims aren't the powerless creatures on whom evil acts and bad happenstance are randomly heaped upon - and from which they bear no responsibility or ability to extract themselves. Indeed, we very often make ourselves victims through our choices. Adopting a victim's mentality is in reality just a denial of responsibility that our own choices and actions most often contribute to or even cause our misfortunes.

Harsh? I don't think so. I think my rejection of the concept of being a victim empowers me and makes me more responsible to myself. If I take a walk alone at midnight in my urban neighborhood and am attacked, robbed and raped - am I a hapless victim? NO! I made the choice to put myself in an unsafe, compromised situation by walking alone, in the dark in a less-than-safe environment. To do that without regard to the probability of something happening to me is irresponsible and stupid. Period!

No, It's not fair, it's not right, but it is reality. Women in particular like to complain about how unfair things are as if complaining will magically change reality. No one ever said life was fair and it is indeed less fair for women. But to complain about unfairness and adopt a victim's mentality changes nothing - and in fact tends to perpetuate the unfairness, as well as negative stereotypes about women.

No, I haven't had to deal with the trauma of being physically assaulted and/or raped. But perhaps that's because I'm always mindful of the fact it can and might happen to me so I always take extra care noticing my surroundings, not being alone in unfamiliar places or with unfamiliar people - I keep doors locked whenever and wherever I'm driving - even in Khakiville, Suburbia. But - I do know women who have been through the unthinkable - some as children at the hands of sick family members, some the targets of complete strangers. The ones who are the healthiest and most well-adjusted are the ones who refused to accept the role or see themselves as victims.

Even though a friend was repeated molested by a family member as a young girl and could legitimately claim to be a true victim - she refused to be held captive to shame, fear and mistrust for a lifetime. She released her own responsibility in her abuse, placing it squarely on the shoulders of her abuser - and she moved forward in her life by refusing to be helpless. She is one of the strongest, most positive and most caring women I know. She allows herself the full range of emotions from anger to unconditional love and compassion without fear.

The most and best I could wish for all of my wench sisters is fearless refusal to be a victim. To look at every experience in life - good and bad - as an opportunity for learning and growth and for the strength and confidence to know how powerful and invincible you truly are. Always remember no one can make us feel less about ourselves; victimize us or take advantage of us without our consent. Take care of yourselves, protect yourselves and remember to place yourself #1 in your own life so that you can truly and genuinely give of yourself to the ones worthy of you!