+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 13

Thread: Nursery Rhymes and a Fairy Tale for Adults

  1. #1
    Madame Chatterbox Branwen will become famous soon enough Branwen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    San Antonio, Texas
    Posts
    1,692
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0

    Cool Nursery Rhymes and a Fairy Tale for Adults

    Mary had a little pig, She kept it fat and plastered; And when the price of pork went up,She shot the little bastard.

    MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB Her father shot it dead. Now it goes to school with her, Between two hunks of bread.

    JACK AND JILL went up the hill To have a little fun. Stupid Jill forgot the pill And now they have a son.

    HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings' horses, And all the kings' men. Had scrambled eggs, For breakfast again.

    HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat took a piddle, All over the bedside clock. The little dog laughed to see such fun. Then died of electric shock.

    GEORGIE PORGY Pudding and Pie, Kissed the girls and made them cry. And when the boys came out to play, He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.

    There was a little girl who had a little curl Right in the middle of her forehead. When she was good, she was very, very good. But when she was bad........ She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.



    This is the fairy tale that should have been read to us as little girls!

    Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.

    The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said: " Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up home in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children,
    and forever feel grateful and happy doing so. "

    That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sauteed frog legs
    seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself: I don't f *** ing think so.
    Wench #2923; Nefarious #5; Garb Diva #8
    BITE ME, Leroy!!

    Help my Dragons grow up. <---- Click on the links ----> I've got another Brood.

    The Guild of St. Elizabeth I, Gloriana, Yahoo 360, My Space

    "Some mornings it doesn't pay to take the cat off your face."

  2. #2
    Member of Local 52 Madame Chatterbox Sorcha Griannon is on a distinguished road Sorcha Griannon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    So Cal (RPFS)
    Posts
    1,673
    Downloads
    4
    Uploads
    0

    Default Re: Nursery Rhymes and a Fairy Tale for Adults

    frickin' funny!

    Sorcha
    Sorcha Griannon-Madame Cum Laude #2524
    Lizzy's & Lily's Mommy
    PFS#1, #11 Witchy Wenchy Womyn, Bard # 383, FF#29



    "All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another." ~Anatole France




  3. #3
    Verbose Veteran Buxom Wench is just really nice Buxom Wench is just really nice Buxom Wench is just really nice Buxom Wench is just really nice Buxom Wench is just really nice Buxom Wench's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    11,581
    Downloads
    3
    Uploads
    0

    Default Re: Nursery Rhymes and a Fairy Tale for Adults

    *once again, lack of 'WARNING' label drowns keyboard in tea*


    ...

  4. #4
    Generous Benefactor Verbose Veteran Lady Sarah is a name known to all Lady Sarah is a name known to all Lady Sarah is a name known to all Lady Sarah is a name known to all Lady Sarah is a name known to all Lady Sarah is a name known to all Lady Sarah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Arlington, TX
    Age
    46
    Posts
    9,969
    Downloads
    1
    Uploads
    0

    Default Re: Nursery Rhymes and a Fairy Tale for Adults

    Ohhh let me see if I can remember two of the ones mom taught me..

    Mary Mary, quite contrary, how does your garden grow?
    "With silver bells and cockleshells... and one damned petunia!"


    Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, eating her curds and whey. Along came a spider, sat down beside her and said, "Whattya got in the bowl, bitch?"

    hehe.... Mary had a little lamb... boy wasn't she surprised!!
    Lady Sarah Grimm
    Her Grace, Lady Sarah the Edible of Giggleswick under Table

    Yup. I'm a Bitch. Thankfully this isn't breaking news.

    IWG #2715, Merc #649, REAP #47, SSPF #6 - The Temptress of the Six. AMOK!!
    Free Range Wench!

    I... am... Fish Ninja!! (Because Yso said so!)

    The Guild of St. Elizabeth I, Gloriana! - God Save the Wardrobe!
    http://armadiodellasignora.blogspot.com/

    All Praise The Mighty Rack!
    "Beauty is someone you notice... Charm is someone who notices you." - fortune cookie
    There is no secret ingredient.

  5. #5
    Verbose Veteran Buxom Wench is just really nice Buxom Wench is just really nice Buxom Wench is just really nice Buxom Wench is just really nice Buxom Wench is just really nice Buxom Wench's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    11,581
    Downloads
    3
    Uploads
    0

    Default Re: Nursery Rhymes and a Fairy Tale for Adults

    Quote Originally Posted by Lady Sarah
    Ohhh let me see if I can remember two of the ones mom taught me..

    Mary Mary, quite contrary, how does your garden grow?
    "With silver bells and cockleshells... and one damned petunia!"


    Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, eating her curds and whey. Along came a spider, sat down beside her and said, "Whattya got in the bowl, bitch?"

    hehe.... Mary had a little lamb... boy wasn't she surprised!!
    SAWWWAAHHHHH!!!!

    Did you NOT see my previous post?!?!?!?

    WARNING LABELS -- WARNING LABELS

  6. #6
    Verbose Veteran WenchLadyKate has a spectacular aura about WenchLadyKate has a spectacular aura about WenchLadyKate has a spectacular aura about WenchLadyKate's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    Jersey Girl!
    Age
    44
    Posts
    5,241
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0

    Default Re: Nursery Rhymes and a Fairy Tale for Adults

    Mary had a little lamb, the doctor was so surprised. But, you should have seen his face when Old MacDonald had a FARM!

    Little Miss Muffet, sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey. Along came a spider so she smashed it with her spoon.

    And I will give credit to the great Andrew Dice Clay:
    Jack and Jill went up the hill, both with a buck and a quarter. Jill came down with $2.50! OH!
    Move along, nothing to see here...










  7. #7
    Madame Chatterbox Lady Laurel will become famous soon enough Lady Laurel will become famous soon enough Lady Laurel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Location
    UAE Dubai
    Age
    50
    Posts
    2,094
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0

    Default Re: Nursery Rhymes and a Fairy Tale for Adults

    I bet the frog legs tasted great.
    Love, Light, and Laughter
    IWG #886
    Nefarious #7 GWT #19
    Proud to be a wench
    Owned and Loved by a Cat.....Meow



  8. #8
    Forum Freak Lavinia is on a distinguished road Lavinia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Orlando
    Age
    39
    Posts
    156
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0

    Default Re: Nursery Rhymes and a Fairy Tale for Adults

    Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, and what a big tuffet it was, so if you feel insecure, just sit next to her and you won't feel so bad anymore.
    Where I come from we believe all sorts of things that aren't true; we call it history. -Wicked

    I'm not following a diet that lets you eat three burgers and a pound of bacon, but I can't have an apple because the apple has carbs. -Foamy

    http://silfea464.livejournal.com/
    Visitors always welcome
    28.3% FaireFolk pure (71.7% FaireFolk corrupt).

  9. #9
    Wily Wench CelticBombshell is an unknown quantity at this point CelticBombshell's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    San Angelo, TX
    Age
    40
    Posts
    287
    Downloads
    1
    Uploads
    0

    Default Re: Nursery Rhymes and a Fairy Tale for Adults

    too funny

    mel
    Willene Blake, Hell's Belle
    Mel the Celtic Bombshell
    Hellion ~ Daughter of Malek in Olum, Hashashin to the lesser Gods, Lone female student to "the Old Man in the Mountain", Artisan of "la petite mort"
    Wench ID# 2362
    Local # 13

    Sex without fear and pain is like food with out taste. ~ Marquise D'sade

    When I'm good I'm very, very good; but when I'm bad I'm better. ~
    Mae West

    58.6% FaireFolk pure (41.4% FaireFolk corrupt)

    <a href="http://www.TickerFactory.com/">
    <img border="0" src="http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/4;17;5/st/20091029/e/My+Ren+Faire+Weekend/k/dcda/event.png"></a>

  10. #10
    Needs a Hobby Winifred Baskerville is on a distinguished road Winifred Baskerville's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Somewhere Else
    Age
    38
    Posts
    1,268
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0

    Default Re: Nursery Rhymes and a Fairy Tale for Adults

    Quote Originally Posted by Lady Sarah
    hehe.... Mary had a little lamb... boy wasn't she surprised!!
    I remember this one:

    Mary had a little lamb, she ate it with mint jelly. And everywhere that Mary went the lamb went in her belly.

    Rather tame, that, I suppose...
    Wench #3032
    LiveJournal

    There are some days I seriously regret having a decent work ethic. Today is probably one of them.

+ Reply to Thread

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

     

Similar Threads

  1. Rejected Nursery Rhymes
    By Isabelle Fawkes in forum A Hussies Hangout
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 11-07-2003, 06:56 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts