I am the pan the lizard man
a few years back, I worked at a go-go bar in Va. the owner of said bar, had 5 clubs and the GM on any given night would decide that it was a poker night. He would call all the bars and invite everyone (bartenders, waitress, the dancers and bouncers)who wanted to come over. The GM's (ken) house was kicking. pool, hot tub, huge tv. you could play poker or swim whatever.
One night I go. watched the movie hook, and some grade D T&A movie that had some liazrd man in it. We drink a lot go skinny dipping. Good party.
The next day, Im supposed to be at work like at 10am. I wake up at 945 am, in beteween 2 naked strippers( good party?? NO, great party). with it being a 1/2 to my place and a 1/2 to base, Im already late. Call the shop, tell the boss Im alive and will be in ASAP/ I can find my boots, wallet and car keys. no pants or shirt though.( to this day I do not know where they are) I grab a towel, get in the car, start speeding since Im late. look in rear view and I see the nice flashing lights.
Fuck. I figure this isnt going to be good since Im not really dressed and I reek of booze.
Pullo ver, cop comes up and asks for my liscence and papers. Hand them to them. he goes to his car, returns in a few minutes.
Cop: Mr Vernon, would you please step out of your vehicle?
Me: yes( step out.) ( remember I have on boots and a towel)
Cop: MR Vernon I have a question for you.
Me: OK
Cop: why are you dressed that way?
( now have you ever had a time when your mouth takes over and says what is possibly the worst thing to say, you know it but can not stop it??? this was my time. and remember the movies I watched??)
Me:(hands on hips) I AM THE PAN THE LIAZRD MAN HAHAHAHA!!!!!
me: (thinking fuck, I got to call the boss again, this time itll be from norfolk jail though, which isnt going to be pretty since Im already in a towel)
Cop: Handing back the liscence and papers: Would you slow it down next time Mr vernon.
So you now have the " I am the Pan the Lizard man" story.
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Originally Posted by Lady Sarah
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