+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 11

Thread: 'Nerd Porn Auteur'

  1. #1
    Nursefuratu Forum Freak ioevohe is an unknown quantity at this point ioevohe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    San Antonio, Texas
    Age
    46
    Posts
    83
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0

    Default 'Nerd Porn Auteur'

    Nerd Porn Auteur
    by Ernest Cline

    I've noticed that there don't seem to be any porno movies
    that are made for guys like me.

    All the porn I've come across
    was targeted at beer-swilling sports bar dwelling alpha-males
    Men who like their women stupid and submissive
    Men who can only get it up for monosyllabic cock-hungry nymphos
    with gargantuan breasts and a three-word vocabulary

    Adult films are populated with these collagen-injected
    liposuctioned women
    Many of whom have resorted to surgery and self-mutilation
    in an attempt to look the way they have been told to look.

    These aren't real women. They're objects.
    And these movies aren't erotic. They're pathetic.
    These vacuum-headed fuck bunnies don't turn me on.
    They disgust me.
    And it's not that I'm against pornography.
    I mean, I'm a guy. And guys need porn.
    Fact.
    "Like a preacher needs pain, like a needle needs a vein,"
    Guys need porn.

    But I don't wanna watch this misogynist he-man woman-hater porn.
    I want porno movies that are made with guys like me in mind:
    Guys who know that the sexiest thing in the world
    is a woman who is smarter than you are.

    You can have the whole cheerleading squad,
    I want the girl in the tweed skirt and the horn-rimmed glasses:
    Betty Finnebowski, the valedictorian.
    Oh yes.
    First I want to copy her Trig homework,
    and then I want to make mad, passionate love to her
    for hours and hours
    until she reluctantly asks if we can stop
    because she doesn't want to miss Battlestar Galactica.
    Suma cum laude, baby!
    That is what I call erotic.

    But do you ever see that kind of a woman in a contemporary adult film?
    No.
    Which is why I'm going to start writing and directing Geek Porno.
    I shall be the quintessential Nerd Porn Auteur.
    And the women in my porno movies will be the kind
    that drive nerds like me mad with desire.

    I'm talking about the girls that used to fuck up the grading curve.
    The girls in the Latin Club and the National Honor Society.
    Chicks with weird clothes, braces, four eyes, and 4.0 GPAs.
    Brainy articulate bookworms, with MENSA cards in their purses
    and chips on their shoulders.

    My porn starlets will come in all shapes and sizes.
    My porn starlets will be too busy working on their PhD to go to the gym.

    In my kind of porno movies the girls wouldn't even have to get naked.
    They'd just take the guys down to the rec room and
    beat them repeatedly at chess
    and then talk to them for hours about Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle
    or the underlying social metaphors in the Aliens movies.

    Buy stock in some hand cream companies
    because there is about to be a major shortage.

    And I'm not just talking about straight porn. Oh no.
    There should be fuck films for my nerd brethren
    of all sexual orientations.
    Gay nerd porn flicks with titles like "Dungeons and Drag-queens."

    This idea is a fucking gold mine.
    I am gonna make millions,
    because this country is full of database programmers
    and electronics engineers
    and they aren't getting the loving they so desperately need.
    And you can help . . .

    If you're an intelligent woman is interested in breaking into the adult film industry,
    and if you can tell me the name of Luke Skywalker's home planet,
    then you are hired.

    It doesn't matter if you think you're overweight or unattractive.
    It doesn't matter if you don't think you're beautiful.
    You are beautiful. . .
    And I will make you a star.



    "The rant in that link was a transcript of a track entitled 'Nerd Porn Auteur' from an Ernie Cline spoken word album. You can download that track and others from the album, all of which are totally hilarious." http://www.ernestcline.com/spokenword/
    Io evohe Quartermistress of the Cool Arrows Clan
    IWG #2925, Local #13

    "When all's said and done, all roads lead to the same end. So it's not so much which road you take, as how you take it."
    —Charles de Lint, "Greenmantle"

    Latcho Drom Lubni! "Good journey wench!"

  2. #2
    Certifiable Rogue Verbose Veteran Pathos is a jewel in the rough Pathos is a jewel in the rough Pathos is a jewel in the rough Pathos is a jewel in the rough Pathos's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    North Jersey
    Posts
    3,563
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0

    Default Re: 'Nerd Porn Auteur'

    This guy obviously doesn't watch much porn. With the explosion of "made for the internet" porn (which is the biggest market now) the stereotypical porn girl he describes has become the minority.

    Do some surfing. You'll see that there are now thousands upon thousands of porn sites that celebrate more "typical" women. Any shape, size, age, figure...you name it. They're all out there.

    I have several sites bookmarked on my browser that feature...shall we say..."full-figured" women (and every possible interpretation of that term). Some of them have become stars in their own right. And that is very refreshing in my opinion.

    The guy has a noble idea. But he's not breaking any new ground.
    Last edited by Pathos; 09-13-2006 at 10:05 PM.
    Pathos - The Forgotten Musketeer!!!

    "I don't have faith in faith. I don't believe in beliefs." - N.P.




  3. #3
    Madame Chatterbox DoņaNina is on a distinguished road DoņaNina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Gaithersburg, MD
    Age
    37
    Posts
    2,613
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0

    Default Re: 'Nerd Porn Auteur'

    Quote Originally Posted by Pathos
    The guy has a noble idea. But he's not breaking any new ground.
    Agreed. I have tons of geek porn.
    Member of Local #42
    Lady Loudmouth of the Cracked Keg Crew!

  4. #4
    Nursefuratu Forum Freak ioevohe is an unknown quantity at this point ioevohe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    San Antonio, Texas
    Age
    46
    Posts
    83
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0

    Red face Re: 'Nerd Porn Auteur'

    I did not read it as a simple call for full figure women in porn, but maybe that is just me. I felt that in a roundabout way, its saying that intelligence is more important than beauty...not that all geeky girls are unattractive. I am glad to be a geek and am quite happy to have someone objectify my mind instead of just my body (whatever shape I may be).
    Io evohe Quartermistress of the Cool Arrows Clan
    IWG #2925, Local #13

    "When all's said and done, all roads lead to the same end. So it's not so much which road you take, as how you take it."
    —Charles de Lint, "Greenmantle"

    Latcho Drom Lubni! "Good journey wench!"

  5. #5
    Certifiable Rogue Verbose Veteran Pathos is a jewel in the rough Pathos is a jewel in the rough Pathos is a jewel in the rough Pathos is a jewel in the rough Pathos's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    North Jersey
    Posts
    3,563
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0

    Default Re: 'Nerd Porn Auteur'

    Quote Originally Posted by ioevohe
    its saying that intelligence is more important than beauty
    There's truth to that of course. But it's pretty much impossible to project intelligence in porn. The two just don't really go together. Wanting to be dazzled with brilliance isn't generally the point of watching porn.

    Besides...despite the stereotype of being mindless sluts...you'd be surprised how intelligent a lot of those girls are. Porn is a big business through which you can make a ton of money if you manage yourself right. A lot of the girls are working their way through college. They do it for a year or two then move on with their lives.

    So the intelligence is there. It's just not usually the focus.

    Pathos - The Forgotten Musketeer!!!

    "I don't have faith in faith. I don't believe in beliefs." - N.P.




  6. #6
    Verbose Veteran WenchLadyKate has a spectacular aura about WenchLadyKate has a spectacular aura about WenchLadyKate has a spectacular aura about WenchLadyKate's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    Jersey Girl!
    Age
    44
    Posts
    5,241
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0

    Default Re: 'Nerd Porn Auteur'

    My two faves, not that anyone really wants to know but I don't care are... Suicide Girls and Midget Porn! YAY MIDGET PORN!!!
    Move along, nothing to see here...










  7. #7
    Verbose Veteran surlywench has a spectacular aura about surlywench has a spectacular aura about surlywench has a spectacular aura about surlywench's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Green Lane, PA
    Age
    41
    Posts
    3,218
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0

    Default Re: 'Nerd Porn Auteur'

    Suicide Girls KICK ASS.
    ...and then Buffy staked Edward.

    The End.

  8. #8
    Madame Chatterbox DoņaNina is on a distinguished road DoņaNina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Gaithersburg, MD
    Age
    37
    Posts
    2,613
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0

    Default Re: 'Nerd Porn Auteur'

    I was accepted a sa Suicide Girl model... but Kickstand wasn't comfortable with me posing nude. So now whenever I model (which is becoming more and more frequently, for some reason) it has to be fully clothed.

    And he still asks for the photographer to keep ten feet back... lol
    Member of Local #42
    Lady Loudmouth of the Cracked Keg Crew!

  9. #9
    Gifted with Gab Rhonda_Melones is on a distinguished road Rhonda_Melones's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Patrick AFB, FL
    Age
    43
    Posts
    596
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0

    Default Re: 'Nerd Porn Auteur'

    Quote Originally Posted by Pathos
    There's truth to that of course. But it's pretty much impossible to project intelligence in porn. The two just don't really go together. Wanting to be dazzled with brilliance isn't generally the point of watching porn.

    Besides...despite the stereotype of being mindless sluts...you'd be surprised how intelligent a lot of those girls are. Porn is a big business through which you can make a ton of money if you manage yourself right. A lot of the girls are working their way through college. They do it for a year or two then move on with their lives.

    So the intelligence is there. It's just not usually the focus.

    You've got something there Pathos. I admit I love listening to the Playboy channel on Sirius radio because they have some great conversations most of the time, the bunnies do anyway, the guys they have are just so dull and what hubby would term as "wankers" in every sense of the word
    Rhonda Melones
    Proud wench #2441
    Pastafarian since 2005 -- Have you been touched by his noodly appendage?

    I love the lines the men use to get us into bed. 'Please, I'll only put it in for a minute.' What am I, a microwave?
    -- Beverly Mickens

    "Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian."
    - Dennis Wholey (1937-)

  10. #10
    Needs a Hobby FrankJScott is an unknown quantity at this point
    Join Date
    Nov 2020
    Location
    LA
    Age
    40
    Posts
    1,113
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0

    Default Huge fan of this this site :)

    Growing fan of this forum :) Btw, if you're interested in great Indonesian casinos, I very much suggest this bagus joker123 deposit pulsa page along with this teratas joker123 deposit pulsa forum and this baik joker123 slot website. Also, don't forget this teratas joker388, not to mention this teratas login joker123 site alongside this baik joker123 forum. There's also this luar biasa situs joker123 website and don't forget this luar biasa joker388, as well as baik joker123 slot website and I shouldn't leave out this luar biasa joker123 site is a good one too. Take a look at luar biasa slot joker123 website along with this luar biasa joker388 site and this terbaik joker123 forum. Also, don't forget this luar biasa joker123 deposit pulsa, not to mention this terbaik joker388 profile alongside this baik situs joker123 profile. There's also this baik joker123 slot profile and don't forget this bagus joker123 slot, as well as terbaik situs joker123 website and I shouldn't leave out this terbaik joker123 deposit pulsa forum is a good one too. Also check out Take a look at luar biasa joker123 site along with this luar biasa joker388 page and this hebat joker123 slot page. Also, don't forget this terbaik situs joker123, not to mention this teratas login joker123 website as well. Love a good read of this blog :) 8ff8b20 here.

+ Reply to Thread

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

     

Similar Threads

  1. Bow-chica-bow-bow!!
    By Selena in forum A Hussies Hangout
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 05-11-2006, 09:03 PM
  2. Speaking of pirate porn....
    By Cyranno DeBoberac in forum A Hussies Hangout
    Replies: 136
    Last Post: 02-05-2006, 02:26 AM
  3. Porn and Drinving do not mix
    By Sorcha Griannon in forum A Hussies Hangout
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 02-27-2004, 11:43 AM
  4. Some silly Friday fun.....What's your porn star name?
    By Tink in forum A Hussies Hangout
    Replies: 38
    Last Post: 09-29-2003, 10:30 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts