My "delayed" daughter.

[Mistress_Autumn]

That's right.

I have a daughter who is "delayed".

She doesn't speak.

She is almost 20 months old and her only "real" word is "mama"... which she uses for everything.

She has two older sisters who speak non-stop. She hears and understands everything that is said to her, though she may not follow directions all the time. (She is, after all, a toddler.)

Despite this "delay" she communicates just fine.

My toddler "speaks" in sign language.

She uses around 17 signs and puts together three word sentences. She can tell me when she's dirty and needs a new diaper. She can tell me that she's hungry. Heck, she can tell me whether she wants water or milk in her cup. She tells me when she wants a bath or when she wants help in doing something.

Oh yes, my toddler is "delayed". She is "special" and, according to CPS, I need to put her in therapy to correct this "delay".

But my toddler is happy, healthy and loved. She is not "disabled". She is not "special needs". She is not suffering any type of neglect or abuse. She communicates more clearly than most 19 month olds. And she is polite! She says "thank you", in sign, when she gets what she wants.

So why, when I am doing exactly what a therapist would do (finding a way to communicate while encouraging her to use her speaking voice), am I being told that I need to have a "professional" look at her?

Her doctor has even said that I'm doing the right thing. I am not worried about her "delay". My baby sister didn't speak until she was 4! Why should my daughter be labeled "delayed" when she communicates just fine?

I think I'll just continue to treat my "delayed" daughter the same way I always have. ... With the love and respect that she deserves for being such a wonderful child.

She'll talk when she wants to. Until then, I'll teach her to sign.

[MaidenFaeSnow]

PM sent

[Capt. Stamina]

Goodness, don’t you realize that an untrained government social worker is more knowledgeable than a trained therapist or doctor? [/sarcasm]

You’re doing the right thing Luv. My nephew was the same way.

[Jamianne]

One of our friend's youngest didn't actually talk until she was over 2. It sounds like you're doing a wonderful job teaching her to communicte in the way that's most comfortable for her at the moment.

[MaidenFaeSnow]

Goodness, don’t you realize that an untrained government social worker is more knowledgeable than a trained therapist or doctor? [/sarcasm]

You’re doing the right thing Luv. My nephew was the same way.

doctors have to apply new-age labels these days so that new-age mothers won't file lawsuits when princess this or prince that sneeze and their anomolie isn't called something specific by the doctor.

Your daughter doesn't feel the need to talk yet, so what. She can clearly communicate. She clearly understands what you say to her. I think that shows her brain is functioning as it should be. Her mouth will catch up and take off when she is ready for it to, and then there will be no stopping it .

[Lady Sarah]

my mother's sister was the same way - she spoke in a language that only their brother could understand. know what the doctor said? "She'll speak when she wants to - but her brother is enabling her." my grandmother refused to ask my uncle after that what my aunt was saying, within a few months she was talking normally.

my brother stuttered for the longest time after he learned to talk. the doctor explained it this way: "He's trying to get into conversations with adults and compete with them. His brain isn't able to do that just yet and it's an overload - hence the stuttering. Put him in school with kids his own age." mom did and the stuttering went away.

While accepting her sign language and teaching her to sign is a good thing, it sounds to me like she can't get a word in edgewise with her two sisters chattering non-stop. I do, however, disagree with the CPS employee who recommended therapy.

[FairieTink]

While I don't agree you should be forced to take her. Where is the harm? There is nothing negative about therapy.

[surlywench]

If she's signing and got a household full of people who understand what she needs...what reason would she have to speak, lol? About all you can do is encourage her to use her words, or ask that she *say* the word before you get something for her, but otherwise, if she doesnt' speak until she's 4 and your Dr isn't concerned...take the extra silence as a blessing, lol!!!


My daughter is genuinely delayed, and the 'therapy' they offered consisted of a speech therapist coming to our house for a HALF AN HOUR each week. It was such a ridiculous token drop in the bucket that I stopped bothering with it. When Eowyn went to a daycare with other childern in her age group, her language skills jumped ahead. When she switched care (no kids her age), the skills slowed down a great deal. She can communicate, but her skills are far, far behind that of a normal 3 1/2 yr old. I'm hoping once she starts preschool next week, we'll see another langauge bloom to catch her up a little further.

[Lady Anisette]

My brother didn't talk for the first three years of his life. He just pointed and grunted. The doctor told my mom not to worry, that he should catch up at school. And he did. Give her time.

You already stated that she has 2 older, very talkative sisters. I know from my family that in that situation that the last child often becomes either loud (like my brother's girlfriend) so they can be heard. Or very quiet because there is no reason to compete.

When she is ready she will talk. If by the time she is in school and still not talking, then talk to the professionals. She isn't even 2 yet. She is probably just waiting until she has something worthwhile to say.

[Drea Beth]

I have to ask... how did CPS get involved?

It seems as if you're content with how your daughter is progressing and your doctor isn't concerned that there are any underlying medical conditions it's really none of CPS's business.