One of the women at work sent this. I about snorted coffee out my nose, I was laughing so hard...
Exam Questions! (These really appeared on tests in public schools.)
Q: Explain the process by which water can be made safe to drink
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink. It removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: What causes the tides in the ocean?
A: The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A: If you are buying a house, they will insist that you are well endowed.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body when you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes?
A: Premature death
Q: What is artificial insemination?
A: When the farmer does it to a bull instead of a cow.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow (He got an A)
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorised? (eg abdomen)
A: The body is consisted of three parts - the branium, the borax, the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O and U.
Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does 'varicose' mean?
Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean Section'?
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.
Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman emperor
Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport.
Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.