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Thread: Parents' Day 2005 Proclamation

  1. #11
    Wily Wench Wolves Lady is an unknown quantity at this point
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alleahnna
    And last time I checked, most parents fall into the category of Mother or Father....or some derivation of that and are celebrated on their individual days.
    I ran into this problem with my daughter - her father ran off when she was still a toddler (19 months), and left me with nothing but the bills and trying to raise my daughter while fighting severe Post Partum Depression. He had nothing to do with either of us until three years had passed, and he was forced into facing the divorce or lose everything to a default divorce, it meant giving up the extra military pay (we never saw a cent, but it was great for him) and he resented that throughly. He had also discovered around that time that having a little girl was a wonderful way to meet women and get a sympathy vote. Long story short - he was a father only by Biology, and did not deserve any other title. My parents and I raised her with no assistance from him, and for a long time she had no "daddy".

    When my (now)husband came along, my daughter was just five, and he jumped right in and helped me with parenting. My daughter quickly began calling him "Daddy", and we became a family in every sense of the word. He helped raise her and has more importance in her life for longer then her bio father has. Again - to make a long story short - he was her father figure/parent in every sense of the word BUT biology.

    My ex threw a hissy fit when he brought his fiance up to meet "his" daughter for the first time and found her calling another guy "daddy" - evidently he had told this girl that he was "active in his daughters life, and she just adored her Daddy" Having his dear daughter call some one else by that title infuriated him - even more so when he tried to force my daughter into calling him "daddy" and ended up being called by her stepfathers name instead. I told him (with great pleasure) "Any guy can be a (biological) Father, and you will always be hers - but you have to earn the right to be called "Daddy" - and you have to be a parent to earn that". To me - there is and always will be a HUGE difference between being a parent and being a mother and father. Just some people are very lucky and can be both in their kids lives, instead of just one or the other (or they can choose to be both).

    Since most bio parents have custody on the day set aside for honoring "Mother" or "Father" either by marriage or by divorce/separation decree, I think it is cool that there is a special day for those who actually parent - biological or not. It gives the people who may really be doing the work a chance to get their special day in. Even with the separation and possible divorce I am going through now - I will, and I think my daughter always will - see her stepfather as being her parent far more then her bio father as far as a life influence.

    Just my two cents...
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  2. #12
    Wily Wench Elsbeth McCoughllie is an unknown quantity at this point Elsbeth McCoughllie's Avatar
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    HUZZAH!! To Wolces Lady for that post!! My friend was just telling me that she went to her neice's wedding. It was a situation where her biological mother had major psychiatric problems and was never truly a mother to her, but she was raised by her father and step-mother. In order to honor all of the important people in her niece's life, they introduced the mother of the bride first as the mother, and then jer father and step-mother as the bride's parents. I think a lot of people cann relate to that and for this I can appreciate the idea of Parents' Day.
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