My husband Derek and I are separating. It is a trial separation for now. Why? For me, it is because he had the affair (while I was pregnant even), wants to maintain a friendship with her, and is continually lying to me so I cannot trust him. I know Derek has his own reasons, saying he has been unhappy for years, but that does not excuse the affair or lies.
Maybe this separation will help him put his head on straight, maybe it will just be a first step towards divorce. That remains to be seen.
In all honesty, I hope we work out. I want our marriage to work. But with every lie he tells, it seems less and less likely that it will.
I really need support. I am scared about what is going to happen. I'm scared that I am about to become a single mom. I'm scared that my marriage is falling apart. I'm scared that the person I relied on for so long isn't going to be there. I'm scared for my 1 month old son. Will I still be a good mommy to him? I can't seem to stop crying, but I know I need to try to be strong for him and for me. It just feels impossible.